Leeches and other pesky parasites

I once had a leech on my leg as a child.  I was canoeing up in Algonquin Park, and looked down to see this ugly black creature stuck to my ankle.  I flicked at it, and it refused to come off.  I eventually managed to get it off, but it didn’t come without a fight.  That little sucker wanted to suck everything it could, the opportunistic little prick.  Good riddance.

There are leeches everywhere. Some of them are even disguised as people.  They will find any opportunity to get what they want, and jump on it, attach their little suckers and go to town taking whatever they can until they are removed by force.  My husband’s mistress is a great example but she isn’t the topic of today’s post.  Instead, I would like to express my discontent to all of the women out there who choose to turn a blind eye to a wedding ring, and who have no moral standards by which to inform them that seeking out a married man is doing a horrible thing, possibly breaking up a family, ripping a father from his children, and causing irreparable damage.  But, to some leeches, it doesn’t really matter what the damage is, as long as they benefit.  Leeches don’t care about the red, inflamed hickey-like lesion they leave behind, as long as they got what they came for.

My husband came home this week and told me that he had been hit on.  A woman who he had been affiliated with on a project sent him an email following their meeting to tell him how intelligent she finds him, how much she enjoyed their meeting and then proceeded to invite him out to lunch so that they could talk more about the ways he has managed his career, and yes…she did tell him how impressive that was.  Men, please tell me why all it takes in some instance is for a woman to:

1. Pay attention to you
2. Pay you a compliment on your financial or career success
3. Invite you out into a social venue outside of work

for things to get messy?

My husband was, as he described it, quite taken aback by this, and we both shook our heads at how a woman, knowing that a man is married with children, would make an overture like that, as if expecting that something more might develop?   Where does this fucking sense of entitlement come from?   If I met a man who I considered a great prize, and discovered he was married, I would simply kick myself for being so damn unlucky that I didn’t “land him” first.  I’d feel regret, and quite possibly jealousy towards the person who had caught his eye earlier.  But, I would never find myself feeling entitled to try to get in between them, break up a family, and take what I feel is justly mine, because it WOULDN’T BE JUSTLY MINE.  He ‘belongs’ to someone else.  He is someone’s father, someone’s husband, someone’s intimate best friend.  He doesn’t belong to you, and nor should he.  Walk away.

Nothing bothers me more, on this journey of healing from this horrible revelation, than the fact that someone felt entitled to what is mine.  Someone had no qualms about hurting me, and did so willingly.  Someone had no qualms about disrupting my family, my children, my life.  Why?  That hurts me almost more than the affair itself.  It goes, as I’ve said before, against what should be the “woman code”.  I wasn’t supposed to talk about her.

So this woman at the office….as innocent as her email could have been (we all know now that we’ve shed our naive goggles that it wasn’t innocent), she obviously feels she can do as she pleases.  Upon hearing the story, I felt immediate panic and sadness.  I felt like someone else was pawing at the gate for my husband, and threatening what was ours.  I did respect and appreciate that he came and told me, and shared his response to her (which was polite and did not acknowledge her invitation).  Doing so makes me feel like we are working together to guard the doors of our marriage, and not allow inside those who will threaten us from within.  You have to reinforce the doors and windows, come up with a battle strategy and constantly evaluate the interactions you have with members of the opposite sex to determine whether you are working for your marriage, or against it.  Personally, all you leeches can go fuck yourselves.  Go grab yourself a cup of self esteem and find yourself something of your own to snag.



  1. I am so glad I subscribed to your blog! I love this post! I secretly sing the Cielo Green song “Eff You” every single day to the blood sucking leech that thought she could inflict her pathetic wanna be life on my husband – MY family! This is what I have not been able to comprehend about all of this – like you I cannot imagine the arrogance these woman have in thinking that every man would just fall for their shit. They have some serious mental issues. I remember talking to my mom about this not too long ago and she reminded how these woman are everywhere. I never realized how many of them there are out there. Wish they’d just go get the therapy they need and stop messing with other people’s lives. But instead they will keep sending out feelers until they find one that sticks. How I wish the one that stuck wasn’t my husband. Thank God he got out in time. Thanks for the post!

    • Thank you Amy for subscribing. I love that song too for the same reason. I can’t believe what compels some people to think that they are above all others, that their needs come first, and that they can take away the lives and happiness of others in order to prosper. My husband now fully believes that women who engage in affairs with married men ARE mentally ill. There is something wrong with someone who places themselves in that position. There are, at the very least, serious emotional and self-esteem issues. Does she not believe that she is good enough to find a quality man on her own? How can she feel entitled to our husbands, and not feel a sense of entitlement to her own true happiness brought about in an authentic and proper way?

  2. Amen!

    Not only was the woman having an affair with MY married man but she too is married with kids. She disgusts me.

    I didn’t reply to your post on your dream fight taking down the other woman but have had those same dreams myself. I did get some satisfaction by calling her when I found out and telling her to stop fucking my husband.

    I long to mess up her world like she has messed up mine… if it weren’t for her kids. I can’t wreck their lives as I’m sure they must not be the greatest anyway for having her as their mother.

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