Loopy with a side of crazy – I want my life back

For those who have been following the saga, we know that my husband’s mistress is, by all accounts loopy with a side dish of crazy. For those just joining the story who wish to get a more firm grasp on this personality, I will recap:

  • The morning after I learned of the affair, she realized that I hadn’t kicked him out (as she’d hoped), and went nuts.  Knowing that he didn’t want another child, she decided to have the child simply out of spite, claiming to have ‘fallen in love’ with the idea of being a mommy (read: loving the idea of someone loving her unconditionally for once in her life).  She started emailing me and telling me that my husband has to think of her in order to “get off”, and how the two of them used to make fun of my exercise routine, calling me fat, and my exercise group the ‘fat farm’ (I should mention that I am well within my normal weight ranges for my height after having three children, train with a personal trainer and a running trainer twice a week).
  • She said she would terminate the pregnancy if my husband left me.
  • We sought legal protection in order to stop her from contacting us by email, phone or otherwise, and we have made absolutely NO contact with her as we try and rebuild
  • She called my husband’s colleagues and told them of the affair via text message
  • She called the wife of a colleague/friend to tell them she had given birth to his child
  • She emailed my parents and my brother to tell them about the affair under the auspices of trying to gather support for me
  • She threatened to call all of my husband’s colleagues to tell them of the affair under the auspices of trying to gather support for herself (she doesn’t know his colleagues)
  • She stalked us to learn our new home address after we had moved for a fresh start and we found her parked outside our home.
  • She called to laugh at me over the phone and tell me that I am nothing, and that my husband doesn’t love me
  • She sent me emails detailing how they would get together and make love for 12 hours straight and that he was the best sex she’d ever had
  • She setup an account on twitter to document the final days of her pregnancy, naming my husband as the father and outing the affair
  • She stalked my twitter account in order to determine who I am connected with and then sent some of my connections (colleagues) details about the affair and that my husband had fathered her child
  • She posted a comment on my business blog under the auspices of trying to get support for me from my clientele
  • She emailed my husband and I ultrasound images of the baby so that we could “celebrate” with her
  • She emailed my husband a month before the baby was born to tell him that she was in early labour and ‘scared’ and that he is listed on the chart as ‘dangerous’ and that she is registered under protective status (makes a lot of sense to tell someone you claim is harassing you and who you are scared of what your exact location is)
  • She commenced a legal action against him claiming wrongful dismissal which has cost us thousands of dollars
  • She commenced a Human Rights Code Complaint stating that she was sexually harassed and forced into sex, but in her demands asks for her job back and $100K in damages (if you were truly scared of a man and considered him a sex attacker, would you ask to be reinstated in that job?)
  • Last month she sent an email to her lawyer (working for her for free, by the way, while we have spent upwards of $50K in legal expenses), that we continue to stalk her online (never contacted her and have done NO such thing – her name is never mentioned in this blog or her identity revealed for the reasons that we don’t wish to engage her).
So perhaps that gives you a little taste of what we are dealing with.
So, as you saw in my previous post, she is now going to be receiving TRIPLE the amount of child support, and it sickens me to know that she is doing her happy dance at home, earning more in child support payments than she did in her job.
But, to make matters worse, today she sent an email to her lawyer claiming that she would like the harassment from my husband and I to stop.  She claims my husband’s colleagues have been emailing her pornographic information and sending inappropriate emails and phone calls to her home.  She pleads for the behaviour to stop, and claims that she just wants to move forward ‘amicably’.  Let it be known that NONE of my husband’s colleagues are aware of the affair and NONE of them know her personal information, let alone her phone number. It is a complete fabrication.What pisses me off more than anything is the fact that she can make these assenine claims, taking up the time of our respective lawyers’ time, and then we have to pay our lawyer to reply to something that is completely false.  She is draining us of every penny we own, and embarks on things like this as if they were sport.  Her lawyer costs her NOTHING as it is a friend to her father.  Nice.  She is playing games to get us unnerved knowing that it will start a series of communications, and perhaps keep her ‘fresh’ in my husband’s mind, and mine.

I told my husband that she should be forced to PRESENT these emails that she claims to have received, and voice recordings of all voicemails.  When she can’t produce them, she should be told that she is either:
  1. Lying and fabricating bullshit for fun
  2. Truly believing that these events are happening, in which case she is mentally unfit to parent this child and we are seeking support
Something tells me that given those two options, she would admit to having lied before threatening to have her custody revoked due to her being unfit.  In doing so, she would essentially be admitting to having lied, fracturing her own credibility with her counsel.
I am literally at the end of my rope.  I can’t believe this crazy person has been admitted into our lives.  I just want my life back.


  1. dotcablogger says:

    Can you have your lawyer get the records of her legal expenses to show that she’s abusing her use of a free lawyer while you two always pay for yours? I mean show unfairness in legal fees. Can she be stopped from using a lawyer for free? If she had to always pay, she wouldn’t be using a lawyer often.

  2. You make a very good point I am not sure if that can be legally requested, but I am sure our lawyer can make the point that she is taking advantage of her free legal situation to waste his time and our lawyers’ time on fabricated nonsense on our dollar. She can also make the recommendation that her lawyer not send us these ridiculous claims unless he has substantiated them first, putting the onus on them to prove it before wasting our time and money doing the legwork to disprove it. I don’t think she can be stopped from using free legal services – it is her right. We have been told that he isn’t working for free, but I find it hard to believe. She doesn’t have the $50K it has cost us in legal bills. His fees are either severely reduced, or she is being financed by daddy. Either way, she gets the easy road.

  3. I think you are probably right about the 2 options. However, even after the admittance of one or the other, a person of this irrational mental state doesn’t always care about the consequence to them, but only the upset it is causing you.

    However, I think you are 100000% correct, and you should go with your plan. She needs to see that you mean business. She wants to play hard ball… Game On!!!

  4. Lost in France says:

    The only way forward is to call her bluff.

    get her to put up or shut up.

  5. She wont admit the lie, she´ll fabricate a new one.

    Is the child really your hubby´s btw? did you get a paternity test?

    Whatever the case, poor child. No one deserves a mom like that.

    • Yes, my husband has cooperated fully in all details of paternity testing for the moment as requested. He had a lab rtified, and he was 99.9% found to be the father of this child. We alao questioned it, and certainly checked that out, and questioned the same. we’re not about to spend almost $1 million in child support for child that isnt his. Thank you for your support.

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