Advertisements

Karma


Just saw this online, and it reminded me of the OW and sums it up perfectly. I had to share.

20120113-004721.jpg

Advertisements

When things don’t go as planned….scream rape.


Rape.  It is a very loaded term, and carries with it unpleasant thoughts, torturous feelings and a general unease in those who hear it or use it.  I personally hate the word.  I hate the sound of it.  I hate the combination of letters and sounds that are put together to form it.  Personally, I don’t like the colloquial use either (i.e. they are raping us for money) and avoid whenever possible.  Why?  Because to use a word that describes a horrific act to describe something unpleasant that does not carry the same personally injury and circumstances is to downplay the realities that so many individuals have and will have to face when they experience this horrendous crime.

In an attempt to wield control over my husband in the early days of the relationship, my husband’s skank whore would threaten to scream rape if he didn’t comply with her desire to maintain the relationship.  It was August, and they’d been involved since June.  The curiosity had worn off, the novelty was no more, and now he was just sleeping with a woman that he had no other connection with.  They weren’t matched socially, they weren’t matched financially, and they weren’t matched intellectually.  The only thing they had in common is that they were both feeling reckless, and both had a sudden (and non-characteristic in the case of my husband) disregard for how their actions would impact others.  She had create the escape clause that either could pull out of the agreement at any time, but then didn’t like it when he wanted out.  That has been her M.O all along…if she is not IN CONTROL, she loses it.  She wants to call the shots, she wants to be in the driver’s seat.  So when he was the first to want to play the escape card, she felt let down, hurt, disappointed.  She wasn’t about to let him just walk away, after all, she’d collected too much dirt on him. She was in a position to use it to her advantage.

“I will tell your wife”

“I will call the cops and tell them you have been raping me at work”

“I will tell them that you held my job over my head and forced me to have sex with you for my job”

“I will report you to your professional body – you will lose your designation”

Stuck between a rock and a hard place, he kept up the charade for a long time, trying to think of ways to ease himself out of the situation gradually, so that maybe it wouldn’t be as painful or noticeable….a gradual growing apart.  No.  she wouldn’t have it, and threatened all of the above to keep her “upper hand”.  He was stuck.  Lose your family AND your career…or stay with me.  Staying seemed easier….at least until he could figure a way out.  He was, in his words, captive.

Last week, in a last ditch effort to send us one last communication, since we had her sign a restraining order, she emailed us a lengthy 50+ page document, the first 7 pages of which were a monologue of hers, describing the relationship and the events that transpired.  In her little essay, she claims my husband forced her to have sex repeatedly in the office, that he once threw her to the ground, then dragged her by the hair into his office where he raped her, the whole time she was screaming “no, please no!”, but he wouldn’t listen, according to her record.  He told her that she would shutup and take it if she wanted her job, so she submitted and allowed him to have his way with her, the whole time terrified for her life, and later crying in the car on the way home that she had been violated so badly.  When he was done with her, according to her communique, he screamed at her to “Get the fuck out”, and sent her on her way.

Dramatic hunh?  Belongs in a trashy novel…or in a low budget made for TV movie called “When Susie said no”.   Give me a fucking break.

There was no rape.  There was no force.  There was no demeaning sexual conquest or threat of job loss in exchange for sexual favours.  My husband isn’t a crazed sex maniac, and wouldn’t dream of taking advantage of a woman, sexually or otherwise.  He is one of the most gentle men I’ve ever known, and it is this very quality that drew me to him, and made me want to be his wife.  Because, as a person who HAS BEEN sexually assaulted (at the age of 15 by a co-worker/friend), I needed a man that I could trust in this regard.  For her to have lied and claimed to have suffered a similar experience as hundreds of thousands who are actually treated like garbage repeatedly, assaulted, raped, forced, demeaned….her daring to put herself in the same camp as these women who have TRULY suffered disgusts me.   How dare she claim to share their experience.  How dare she throw around the term, and use it to her advantage in order to hurt someone else?   What kind of person does that??   A sick, demented, lowly scumbag, that’s who.

Of course, despite these repeated “attacks”, she would come into work every day, smiling and happy.  She would send emails acknowledging her excitement over upcoming sexual get-togethers they had planned.  No woman who has been assaulted sexually by a man would:

1. Continue to subject herself to the experience
2. Interact in a jovial and interactive way with their attacker
3. Name their offspring after their rapist
4. Request in the Damages section of her Human Rights Complaint that she be given her job back, and seek to return to the work environment she’d been fired from
5. File a wrongful dismissal claim against their employer after being fired from the very job they were desperate to “escape from” due to repeated sexual assaults.

Give me a break.  Does she not see how utterly ridiculous she sounds?  Does she not know how idiotic everyone who reads these diatribes finds her?  She can’t even keep her story straight in ONE domain, let alone across multiple lawsuits where in one she claimed she was in a “relationship of permanence” and, therefore eligible for spousal support, and in the other claim that she never loved him, and that her affection for him was merely as a friend, that she feared for her safety and was let go wrongfully.  Pick a side of the fence honey cause it must hurt to straddle.

The fact is, reading through this sad little document was reassuring.  It gave us laughs, but it also reaffirmed for us how psycho she is, how correct we are in taking the higher road, and  how far gone and obsessed she is.  We’ve moved on in the sense that we have rebuilt our lives.  She, on the other hand lives and breathes the details of this situation, desperately trying to inflict hurt and pain so that we can all feel how she feels.  Well you know what, I am NEVER going to feel what you feel.  I have a husband who loves me, three children who were WANTED, and a relationship that my husband isn’t looking to “escape from”.  I am a wanted partner, a desired friend, and a selected spouse.  I will never be an equal because I am not a mistress, I am a WIFE.  I am not a liar, I am a fighter, and I am not a victim, I am a survivor.  We are not the same, our stories are not the same, and I will not be made to FEEL her agony.  Her agony is her cross to bear for the bad decision she made when she decided to walk into a marriage.  She would have been MUCH better off walking away, staying single, and finding someone new. By now, she would have been engaged or married, possibly expecting a child, with a bright future and family with someone who truly loves her.  Instead, she has to wake up every morning to a little face that doesn’t quite look like her, and whose very expressions, when the light hits her “just right” reminds her of my husband, the relationship, and her status as the one who lost here.  How sad.  No, we are not the same at all.

When the smoke blows in your face, it rarely tastes good


I just learned today that the crazy, manipulative, drama mama made another police complaint against me.  Man, this woman has a lot of time on her hands.  Should I be surprised given that she is making almost $4K per month in child support and childcare costs from us?  She is making more from having had this baby, than she was ever making in her career.  She has no need to work anymore….she can just stay home and collect the moolah.

In her copious free time, it appears the babymama has contacted the police not once, but twice, to report me.  The first report was made in August 2011, at which time I was telephoned by a constable at the district station for the area in which I live.  Because I wasn’t home, they left a message with our sitter, but the details were sketchy, and frankly I thought it was a crank caller.  Come October, I received the call, detailed in the post I’ve linked to above, and spoke with a constable who provided me with a “warning” and asked that I cease all contact with the mistress.  I asked him what evidence she had provided to substantiate her claim, and I was told that there was none, and that the call was merely to let me know they were closing the file.  Of course there was no evidence….I’ve not harassed nor stalked this pitiful example of humanity since I’ve ‘known’ of her.  Her lunatic mind has concocted a bunch of stories, none of which are grounded in truth or reality, so I’ve learned to be less concerned.  I was. admittedly, quite shaken by the call, as it isn’t every day that you get a call from the police.  But, I would have been much better equipped to handle it, had the constable not spoken to me in a tone as if to assert that I was considered guilty, when I, in fact, was not.  I ended the phone call, and immediately wrote it off as ‘just another pathetic move by the sad and lonely woman whose life belongs in a trailer park”. On with life already.

Come November, I was part of an online event for individuals in my industry, and needed to tweet the details of the event to my following on twitter, so that they could get involved and spread the word.  In order to do this, I would have to unprotect my twitter account, to allow new followers to make contact in the wake of the event.  For the month of November and December, my twitter account was reopened, after almost 6 months of lockdown.  I was originally apprehensive about doing this, as the mistress seems to enjoy her sideline view of my life, and I am not keen on giving her a front row seat to my life.  But, I was hopeful that perhaps a 6 month “palm-in-the-face” each time she has tried to access my twitter site would dissuade her from checking in.  I was wrong.  She is obsessed.  After 6 months, she hadn’t relented, and was obviously making repeated check-ins to see if I had unlocked the account, or perhaps she just googles me daily….either way, she is infatuated with me to a sick degree.  When she found the account was open, she decided she would read each and every tweet.  Sick….I know.

Soon the emails started coming from her lawyer, claiming that I was tweeting about her.  Interestingly, she started taking what I wrote on twitter, and making the assumptions that I was talking about her.  This poor woman has given herself far more credit than she actually deserves, and seems to believe that I am far more impacted by her than I actually am.  When I wrote that a song reminded me of a ‘certain someone’, she claimed I was talking about her, and ran to her bargain basement lawyer.  We got an email, warning us that my ‘behaviour would not be tolerated”.  When I posted to a friend that I would be sending her an email exchange between me and a client of mine which I thought she would find interesting, the little maggot thought I was talking about her, and sharing her emails with the legal details of her case with my friends online.  Loser.  It seems anything that I write is assumed to be about her.  Guess what sweetheart, my world does not revolve around you, and I do have legitimate conversations and daily dealings that have nothing to do with you.  You don’t permeate my every day, and are far less thought about or considered than you seem to think that you are.  Get a life.

In December, when I was told that she would be launching a new complaint with the Police, I decided I’d had enough.  The calls from the police with false allegations were, in and of themselves, harassing.  I don’t want to have to deal with her crap when I pick up my phone, and have to defend myself against this garbage.  I decided I would contact the police and let them know that this was going on.  I figured future complaints from her needed to be taken in context with the nutbar that she is, and that perhaps they would take them with a BOULDER of salt the next time she made another claim.  I sent them all of the hurtful emails, text messages, threatening messages, and examples of her twitter-stalking, and today they asked me to come into the precinct to meet with them in person.  I was thankful for the opportunity.

I sat with two detectives who had taken the time to read through the material.  They were, to be blunt – shocked.  They were amazed by the inhumanness of her emails to me, especially in the wake of the affair, when confronted by the woman who she’d wronged, she decided to  try and hurt me further.  Had she not thought she’d done enough?  Apparently not.  They were shocked by her communications and agreed that sounded looney.  In the end, they said that they wished to call her and caution her against any further communication with me or monitoring of my online presence.  I agreed to this, and felt that it may be the only way to get her to stop, so I agreed. They also suggested that I get a peace bond from the Justice of the Peace for my own protection.

Within an hour of leaving the precinct, I received a call from the officer to whom I had given my statement.  Apparently, in her words, she had “called Ms. XXX, and cautioned her.  It didn’t go very well”.

Me:  Can you qualify what you mean by “it didn’t go very well?”
Officer: Well basically she lost it on the phone.
Me:  Lost it?
Officer: She is very angry.  She started screaming and became hysterical.  So, my partner and I will be paying her a home visit?  I would suggest that you be very careful of your person and personal surroundings over the next while.  She appears very unstable, and I just want you to make sure that you are extra vigilant these next few days.
Me: Because you think she will try and hurt me?
Officer: We don’t know, but given her reaction, it is just a precaution.
Me: You are going to her home?  Why?
Officer: I spent about 15 mins trying to arrange a time to see her.  She refused to see me, and became very angry, claiming that she is the victim here.
Me:  Of course she did. What else is new?
Officer:  Well I told her that I don’t like to conduct these things over the phone, and prefer to see who I am talking with. I told her that she too should have the opportunity to ensure that I am who I say I am, and meet with me to discuss.  My partner will be paying her a visit.  We are headed over there now.
Me:  Prepare yourself for the waterworks, and the sob story pity-party.
Officer:  We will be in touch to let you know what transpires
Me:  I’d like to thank you for all of your help, and for going the extra step to ensure this is handled appropriately.  I really appreciate it.

I got off the phone with the officer, and I have to admit that a smile crept to my face.  I found it comical that she reacted so ridiculously to the phone call, took it as such an affront, and yet has no problem dishing that same thing out to me.  It is fine for her to call the cops on ME and to have them call MY home to issue me a warning, but when the smoke is blown back in her face, she realizes it doesn’t taste so good.  Reaping what you’ve sown?  You mess with fire…you get burned.  I hope this will at least make her think twice about continuing her ridiculous behaviour, let it go, and just MOVE ON ALREADY.  We have.

I hope she sleeps well tonight having reaped a little of what she’s sown. Now she just needs a skank whore to sleep with her husband, become pregnant by him and use her spawn as a cash-grab to get free handouts using the legal system….oh and the skank whore has to then harass her for more than 2 years, threaten her, rack up her legal bills and create false claims against her.  I can guarantee that if she reacts like THAT to a phone call from the police, the other scenario would tip her off her already unbalanced rocker.  The funny thing is, that I don’t think she has EVER ONCE put herself in my shoes to realize that my reactions are absolutely justified…she would not have reacted with nearly the class, decorum and integrity that I have…she doesn’t have it in her.

Shutting the curtains on my life…and a blog recommendation


I’ve mentioned many times on this blog that my husband’s whore stalks me. Not only did she discover where we live after we moved, she also stalks me online, monitoring what I write on the social media site “twitter”. Twitter, for those who don’t know, is a place where individuals post their thoughts, funny quips, advertisements, quote of the day…you name it, but you have to do it in 140 characters or less. For someone like me, who is admittedly verbose, the restriction is welcomed practice at being succinct.

I started my twitter account many years ago, possibly a year after its inception. I started it as a way of growing my business connections. I wanted to connect with others in my field, and then become introduced to vendors or products that would help my business, as well as other professionals in my industry. For me, twitter is more of a passtime, and by that I mean, I PASS TIME. If I am in line, I will check twitter, and post something random about the day, something funny that happened, a special or promotion to attract new clientele, a joke, or some other random thought. Much of the time, twitter ends up being more social for me, than business, but is a welcome diversion sometimes. I laugh at what others post, find recipes and images that are funny and add levity to my day. In short, I enjoy my time on twitter….until today.

This morning, after some conversation with friends about the happenings with the psycho whore, I decided that posting on twitter isn’t worth the hassle she brings to my life, and I cancelled the account.  Well, I didn’t cancel it so much as I have locked it to further followers and have made reference in the biographical description that I will no longer be posting to it due to a psycho delusional stalker. As part of the finality that I just posted about the other day, I am trying to savour what life can feel like without this woman in my everyday life.  With a restraining order set against her, I no longer have to wonder if she is sitting outside my house, or questioning whether the blonde woman who just walked by was her.  I no longer have to worry when I open my email that my husband will have forwarded me an email relating to the case at hand, showcasing more intolerable behaviour on the part of this crazed lunatic. In essence, I am looking forward to not having to look over my shoulder all the time.  I imagine it must feel pretty….quiet.  I look forward to it.

What irks me, in the end, is that I have had to curb the activities that I enjoy in order to live my life in peace.  How someone can march into your life, try to steal your husband, sleep with your spouse, become pregnant by him, demand money, harass, stalk, create false police and legal claims which cost us money to refute….and *I* should suffer?  What the hell did I do?  I didn’t sleep with the whore….from what I hear, it wasn’t really worth it, anyway.

It just angers me that these crazy borderline personality whores feel entitled to enmesh themselves into your life, like a virus that constantly mutates in order to continue its attack on the host.  It also angers me that the legal system doesn’t seem to have any provisions in the Family Law code to protect innocent wives and their matrimonial share of the couple’s financial assets from being appropriated by the whore and her spawn (I have to thank sperm donor’s wife for turning me on to that term….I will use it and think of you).

If you enjoy my blog, and want to read another reader’s blog, I would like to direct you to her page.  She writes very well, and is very informed about the goings on in mistress world, cheating, and lust-spawn.   She has coined the mistress perfectly….and her writing is very entertaining.  She too has suffered at the hands of someone who felt entitled to what is hers, and she is fighting to protect her civil rights and freedoms.  I applaud her, and hope to learn from her.  Her website can be found here:  http://spermdonorswife.wordpress.com

The woman is a joke…you can all start laughing now


OK this takes the cake…she sent an email today which my husband just shared with me. In it, she has managed to try and twist every little factoid of their brief relationship into a made for TV movie in which she is the victim at the hands of me….ummm yeah, ok.

Apparently, because she has access to our financial records (Visa bills for a few consecutive months) which show where we spent money, she saw a payment made to a parking lot in the vicinity of her home. She claims to have taken a walk that day, saw my husband’s car, turned in fear for her safety and found refuge in a church. She thought he would try to kill her and the baby, she claims. Meanwhile, I had been the one to go to that parking garage earlier in the day in order to make an address change at one of the only kiosks that I know of where I could change all of my government documents in the wake of a recent home move. Nice story though sweetheart, you should be a screenwriter.

She has also accessed my twitter feed again, and seems to have taken everything I write, and looked at it through the lens of “how could this be about ME?”. Yeah, cause that is what I do, I spend my time on the internet tweeting to thousands of people online about you, and when I write about my happiness it is because I am thinking of you, and when I tweet that I won a raffle recently, it is to rub it in the face that I have money and you don’t, and when I tweet that I am dressing up as halloween as someone who is an inside joke in my house, you claim that I am planning to dress up as you? Yes, you are a standing joke in my house, but so is Stuey Griffin, and that was my outfit. Maybe next year though, k?

Wow….she just elevated herself to a new level of crazy. And just when I thought the elevator to nutsville didn’t go any higher…apparently someone holds an all-access key to the hidden levels of INSANITY that those of us down below can’t even fathom, let alone have the chance to visit.

Well, at the very least, it just reaffirms my belief that we are so much happier than her. Christ that email must have taken her hours to compile. And the content claims that I am unnaturally obsessed with her? Geee, stalk me much sweetie? Get off mu twitter account, and get a freakin life. You might want to spend some time tending to that kid. I just gave you $27K….go buy yourself a life, on me.

20120726-213043.jpg

Betrayal post # 1 :)


Perspective


Sometimes it takes me a day or so to mull things over.  Some time to massage the details, and then come up with how I really feel. With the events of the other day having sunk in,  I think I have it.

I feel great.  Really, I do.  This has been a nightmare 2 years, and for those who have never experienced this, I really hope that you never do.

I am sure there are readers who’ve read through this blog, the details of the hurt and the struggle, and whose first thoughts were “Why the hell are you choosing to stay with a scumbag who cheated on you?”, and you wouldn’t be wrong in having those thoughts.  Those thoughts echo the very thoughts that I would ask myself when I woke up in the morning and stumbled to the mirror.  I can understand the confusion my decision brings to others.  I can also understand the anger it likely brought to those close to me who didn’t want to see me hurt, again.  I know that my mother held a great deal of anger towards my husband – he betrayed her little girl.  He betrayed our family.  He disrespected the vows that he took when we married.  Sadly, my mother passed away before she would ever rectify those feelings with him.  My mother was also reacting out of transference because she too was betrayed by my father – several times.  To her, it was something that was destined to repeat, so to watch me stay caused her angst.   Until you experience this firsthand, you have absolutely no way of knowing the decision you will make in the aftermath of an affair.  6 months before my husband revealed his affair, a friend of mine told me of hers. She had slept with another man behind her husband’s back.  I was sick.  I was disgusted.  I thought to myself that if that ever happened to me, I would walk.  And then it did happen to me, and I stayed.  Some may view my decision as ‘weak’.  Others will view it as “strong”.  It depends on how you see things – the perspective you have, informed by the experiences you’ve had.   Relationships are complex. They can’t simply be dissected into even little pieces, each of them a small reflection of the bigger picture.  No, instead they are messy, the edges are jagged, and the components that make up the whole are very complicated.  It is never as easy or as straightforward on the inside as it appears on the outside.  It goes to show that you really can’t judge a situation until you have been in it.

Looking back over the last couple of days, since the legal matters were all tied up, I feel a tremendous sense of relief.   Yes, I was initially quite angry at the thought that this whore would be receiving additional money from me, money she doesn’t deserve, money that comes out of the mouths of MY CHILDREN, and straight into her pockets so that she can continue to remain unemployed, living off the hard work of others, feeling entitled to it because she pushed out a baby…oh wait, no she didn’t – she had a c-section to preserve the integrity of her vagina. Shallow much?   It’s right up there with her fake breasts which I’ve heard really aren’t anything to write home about, which look awkward, and which don’t fit her body at all.  I guess her physical fucked-upedness has just met her mental fucked-upedness. I think it’s always a good idea to be consisent, don’t you? 🙂

After receiving countless emails from those who read this blog from all over the world, I’ve been given such support and a positive outlook, and I can’t thank you enough.  I loved Pippi’s comment on the last thread that mentioned that yes she has our money, but so what?  We will make more.  She is right.  It is only money.  It isn’t something that can’t be replaced.  It is meaningless.  She can’t have our love for one another.  She can’t have our bond.  She can’t have our family.  She can’t have our happiness.  We are immune to her.  The financial impact will be minimal in the end, and will simply stop the legal bleeding that has been going on for months.  The payout for her is massive.  $27,000.00 is more money than she makes in a year in her job.  She, as seems to be the case with many of these low-life mistresses who see $$$ and decide to put out, she is a low income earner.  Hell, I earned more money in my part time job in university than she does in her professional job.  My salary today is well over 20x what she is capable of earning.  Why is that important?  I mention this only because the financial impact of what she has received (and I don’t say the word “won” because she hasn’t won here), is not that severe.  We will manage just fine, and in the end, would have paid far more for the same end result: having her OUT of our lives.  She is now just a yearly set of cheques made out in advance, and a yearly tax review.  On a day to day basis, she will no longer grace our dinner table conversation, although I am certain we will still enjoy the jokes at her expense.  They are too funny to pass up.

I am glad I have come to this place.  It feels new.  It feels like I’ve arrived.  It feels like I’ve survived.  I feel like I’ve won.  So…..”Yay me mother-fucker!”*

*Yay me is an expression the OW used quite often in her written tormenting emails to describe how she would prevail over me, and how I would be suffering in the days to come, but she would be unscathed.  Yay me was her way of inflicting pain and torment.  Today, I offer it back.  Eat it bitch. 🙂

Stronger than ever in the wake of his affair

Stronger than ever

 

 

What is the law for, if not to protect the innocent?


I am in shock.  Utter disbelief.  My heart is heavy, and my faith in the legal system completely shaken.

Before embarking on this post, if you are a new reader, and don’t know the story, here is a recap from an earlier post to get you up to speed.  My husband slept with a psychopathic lunatic whose crazy has impacted our lives over the last 2 years, cost us tens of thousands of dollars to legally protect, and had his baby in order to collect child support/welfare.

I have always been, for one reason or another, a big proponent of justice.  It bothers me immensely to watch injustice happen.  As a child, I would reel over my brother getting away with things, a smirk on his face, my parents blissfully unaware that they had just been taken, the wool pulled tightly over their eyes.  I’d stand there, mouth agape, unable to believe that what I had seen transpire had just transpired.  “How could they be so blind?”. “How could he be so comfortable commiting such acts against innocent people, and have the nerve to be proud of himself, smile about it, and go on?”  I never understood.  I was, and always have been a very law-abiding person, so to see injustice happen yesterday made my blood boil.

Yesterday was a day we’ve waited for for quite some time.  It was the day we were to have my husband’s custody and child support agreement imposed by a judge.  The child support terms had been drafted months ago by our lawyer, but the mistress had disagreed to practically every practical clause, and then requested that others be added which aren’t allowable by law.  For example, she expected my husband to pay an additional $2K per month for childcare, claiming to need a nanny to allow her to go to work/school, and claimed to have racked up over $24K in childcare costs over the last year.  Interestingly enough, she refused to give the identifying details of the childcare provider so that we could investigate the accuracy and truthfulness of her claims.  We are not about to pay $24,000.00 to her while she is receiving free babysitting from her family members.  Apparently, there was no childcare provider last year….she was unable to substantiate it with records, having only handwritten receipts made to two separate individuals whose social insurance numbers she was unwilling to provide.  With all of the ridiculous demands she was making, and her inability to comply with even the most basic and regular of clauses, we had no choice but to take it in front of a judge, and have him/her decide it for us, imposing the terms of the agreement through the law.

We went to court yesterday, which was not at all as I expected it to be.  I’d expected a courtroom, a robed judge, and the opportunity to see the little swindler another time.  Instead, the two lawyers met in the judge’s chambers privately, exiting only to communicate terms with us, asking questions, and then returning for more deliberations.  The mistress sat around the corner, unseen by us, each of us asked to remain out of the sight of the other.  The first thing to come about was a comment by the judge that there are simultaneous lawsuits in progress between us at the same time. There is the issue of child support and custody for which we’d come, but there is also the suit she’d filed for wrongful dismissal, claiming to have been dismissed for having been pregnant, and then a suit she’d filed with the Human Rights Tribunal, claming to have been discriminated against in her job due to pregnancy.  The Human Rights Tribunal was unwilling to hear her case while the wrongful dismissal case was in progress, since both cases deal with the same issue, and it would be a duplication of services.  They’d suggested that once the wrongful dismissal suit was finished, she would then be free to commence the Human Rights issue.   If you haven’t been following the blog, I will tell you that she was NOT dismissed for being pregnant, she was dismissed because in the days following the discovery of the affair, once she’d realized that my husband would not leave his family for her, she started threatening my husband (her employer at the time) with disclosing the affair to his colleagues, and said that this would “cost him his career”. No longer feeling they could have a professional relationship, he terminated her employment.  She launched a lawsuit claiming she was fired for being pregnant, even though she’d worked 8 weeks with him knowing she was pregnant….the pregnancy was never the issue, her behaviour was.

According to the judge, you can’t lawfully settle on one aspect, and then continue to sue someone for other things.  She suggested that all suits be settled immediately.  The mistress agreed to drop her $100,000.00 wrongful dismissal suit, and the upcoming Human Rights complaint for $10K each.  In addition, because my husband’s income went up last year, her proportion of child support also rises, and so we owed her $7K in arrears of payment as we’d been paying her based on 2009 values.  So, as of today, in order to make her go away, we have to pay over $20K.  They ended up reworking the numbers, so that the $10K for each suit was reduced, and then her lawyer asked for her legal fees to be covered by us.  That last part enflames me because her lawyer WORKED FOR FREE.  Her lawyer is a friend of her father’s, a lawyer who had assisted her father in committing fraud many years ago.  We have no doubt that the $13K he is claiming to have charged her in legal fees was never charged to her, or paid.  We are hopeful that he will keep this money, as he has earned it with all of the work he has done, and all of the employees in his firm. But, we aren’t stupid either, and we are quite certain he will give a portion of it to her, asking for it only as a means of providing her a cloaked payment in addition to what she is already receiving.  Our lawyer reassured us that this was actually a very good settlement, as continuing to fight her in court for the other suits was going to cost us in excess of the $20K in settlement costs we are offering.  They signed the papers yesterday, and it is all done.  Or is it?  Part of the agreement included a mutual non-harassment order.  Neither she nor my husband shall annoy or harass the other.  Although my husband and I have NEVER done anything to harass this pathetic little slut, we agreed to the mutual order in order to get her restrained from us.  So hopefully her little antics will now cease, and we can go about our lives in peace, with this sad, pathetic little person being only a monthly cheque and nothing more. We can now begin the healing as we go about our days without emails from lawyers flooding our inbox, detailing the crazy requests, false claims and utter lies of this ridiculous excuse of a person.  We can now resume our regular lives…as they were, sort of anyway.

So why does this bother me?  Well, no one likes shelling out money to someone who doesn’t deserve a red cent of it.  But, given the legal proceeding we just went through with the employment lawyers, and the fact that it was evident that she would lose her case if it ever went to trial, it pains me that we have to pay her in order for her to drop the suit, but only in order to avoid further costs.  Our settlement does not an admission of guilt on our part, as we did nothing wrong, she wasn’t wrongfully dismissed, nor discriminated against because she was pregnant.  But, since her lawyer was costing her nothing, she was free to drag on the legal processses for as long as she wished, something which would have cost us more in the end.  So, essentially, it was “shut up and go away” money.  Money paid to salvage our lives back.  While it hurts the wallet to lose the money, and hurts the heart to know it is going to someone as undeserving as she, I am trying to look at it as a charity payment made to a mentally ill woman who is raising a child by herself…it isn’t helping much, but seeing her as a charity case takes the sting out.

The humour of the day was when she had a freaking screaming hissy fit and embarrassed herself entirely on the courthouse floor.  The sad part is that she probably doesn’t even realize how embarrassing her little act was. It was apparently quite comical, made my husband chuckle quietly in his hallway, and reaffirmed for our counsel that “this woman is a fucking nutcase!”.  I certainly wish I’d been there to see/hear that.  Apparently she was mad because the mutual restraining order didn’t work entirely in her favour, so she decided to scream out ridiculous comments like “he’s a monster!” (referring to my husband whose only “crime” against her has been to not lay eyes on the child she unilaterally decided to have in order to milk us of money), and “He doesn’t pay me ANYTHING!”, negating the fact that she gets over $2K in child support every month), and “he’s never paid for a single thing for his daughter!” (ummmm yeah, see the previous one).  She then started screaming that her daughter was “fatherless”, and would have to be put into therapy due to the neglect, meanwhile I think we can all agree with her, this child WILL need therapy.  She will need therapy because her mother suffers with Borderline Personality Disorder and invited herself into a marriage, slept with a married man, covertly had a relationship and then arranged to have herself knocked up because she saw dollar signs – LOSER.   Just imagining what that must have looked like/sounded like brings the biggest smile to my face.  I mean, I know she is a loser, but that is just utterly funny.  I personally like to tease my husband that he fucked trailer trash.  He agrees, and can’t believe he ever succumbed to such garbage.

I will be updating the blog further with more thoughts on infidelity in general, an unsent letter from me to the mistress, and a general invitation for those who have been hurt by infidelity to share their stories as well.

%d bloggers like this: