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Dancing with the Devil


There has been some discussion in the comments on other posts about how mistresses feel entitled to a woman’s husband.  A commenter in recent posts admitted to being a mistress, aware of the acts that she is committing, and feeling no responsibility towards the wife at all, nor any regret.  In fact, she justifies these acts by claiming that she is giving the husband something the wife is not, and claims to be a polygamist.  Now, in most cases, I would tell her that she is deluded if she thinks that she is giving more than the wife, or that the wife is coming up short, but in this case, the mistress is into BDSM (bondage, disciple, sadochism, masochism), calls the woman’s husband her “daddy”, and is training herself for some activities that many would find repugnant or questionable at best.  But I digress….Back to entitlement.  

What is it about the women who knowingly sleep with married men that leaves them feeling entitled to do so?

Is it that the husband has lied to her too, and made her believe that she has more worth than she does?  Does he say this to keep her interested?  Did he tell her that she is filling a void for him? (the void is emotional usually, but the mistress will twist this in any way she wants to think that the wife is frigid, or uncaring or unsupportive).

Is it that these women feel so little towards themselves, that they have so little self respect, that they don’t feel that they could ever secure a relationship with a man by natural means, so they go about stealing from others?  Is it like other kinds of theft?  Do those who steal material property also feel entitled?  I guess they must.

But, all of that aside, I think it takes a special kind of vile human being to commit an act against another person (a mistress violating the marriage of an innocent married wife), and to then further harm her when the affair is discovered, taking any chance possible to inflict every last ounce of harm.  It takes a particularly evil and inhumane person to kick another woman while she is down, down due to acts that she herself has helped to inflict, and yet she isn’t done until she sees the woman reduced to a pile of crap, in tears, unable to function.  Only then, when she has seen her victim completely destroyed mentally, can she feel satisfied that she has had an impact.  Did she feel impotent before, and this gives her power?  Or, am I over thinking it, and it is just another bullying situation, where someone feels so hurt, and so much shame, that they take out their self-hatred on another person who they have made the scapegoat?

I thought I would share with you, for the first time, the contents of the email I was sent in the 24 hour period following the disclosure of my husband’s infidelity.

Once she discovered that he’d told me, she wondered why he wasn’t kicked out.  It made her furious.  She sent me this email:

Dear Betrayed,

Just wanted to let you know that if you want to talk to me about the love affair [your husband] and I have been having, details about the fantastic sex, how he tells me that he loves me and how repulsive he finds you, I would be more than happy to do that for you.  BTW [your husband] and I’s due date is October 28th.  I hope you will take photographs of our little beauty.  Besides, she’s practically family to you.

Mistress

I followed up her email with a reply.  I wanted nothing to do with her, and I didn’t want to talk to her.  I simply wanted her OUT.

Dear Mistress,

Thanks for the email.  I don’t feel there is a need to talk to you about any of this.  [My husband] and I had a heart to heart on Thursday, and he’s told me everything.  I know all of the details, and there’s really nothing much you can add.  What I think you fail to understand is what this really was.

 About the pictures:  I’ve made it a policy not to photograph family.  It’s always so tense, and then people expect discounts.  I can refer you to a number of colleagues if you are seriously interested in having your little one photographed.  I really do recommend it, as that newborn period is so short, and they grow so fast. 

I hear you want to come over.  Please know that you are welcome in our home at anytime.  We would be happy to host you.

Betrayed

Within the hour, this came through – another shot at trying to appear condescending and in control

Dear Betrayed,

I can assure you, you do not know all of the details.  Really?  You have been lied to for a year, but now it is different.  Ummm okay.  I imagined you were smarter than that.  But I guess you can’t handle what the truth really is.  That’s understandable.  I do know what this was.  Your husband can’t keep his hands off me, he looks to me for support, comfort and caring.  It is you that does not.  Truly.  That’s why I feel sorry for you with what’s happened.  Everytime he’s with you in any capacity, he’s thinking about me.  It’s you who needs to realize what has happened here. 

I totally get the pictures, discounts, etc.  Besides, if you and [your husband] are still married, your income will be going to support our baby anyway, through child support payments.  So not to worry, I won’t ask for any additional financial breaks.  Your generosity of paying to support [your husband’s] child will be more than enough. 

I’m glad this has not fazed your self absorbed self.  Most women would actually feel something when they found out their husband was cheating.  But I guess you either don’t actually love him, or you are too materialistic.  So sad.  I imagine you’ll be running off to get plastic surgery now.  Anything to further a shallow self-obsessed life.

I feel sorry for you.

Mistress.

and then a follow up without a response from me beforehand:

Dear Betrayed,

I feel so sorry for you.  Your husband loves another woman and you send him a wish list from Tiffany’s.  Wow that is so sad.  But I guess that’s why he had to find someone who wasn’t so materialistic, self absorbed and superficial, oh ya and not frigid either.  I hear you two get down and dirty every two months. Awww I’m sorry. [Your husband] and I have spent 12 hours straight going at it.  He truly is magnificent. He told me no one in his entire life turns him on the way I do.  I guess that’s why no matter what, he couldn’t stay away from me. He says he can’t even be around me without wanting to make love to me.  Suppose that’s why he was willing to risk so much.  I’m so worth it. 

Do you know that the entire time you were having surgery, [your husband] was talking to me for support? He told me before your vacation that I was perfect.  Awww he’s too sweet.  

I hope you don’t use your children to hold onto a man who no longer loves you, or finds you attractive.  That’s sad.  [Your husband] said he wants to be with me for me.  Not because he feels guilty and doesn’t want to leave because of the children. It’s not you he loves.  It’s the kids. He wants children from you, and an intimate, super hot relationship with me.

The Mistress

My final email back before she went on the IGNORE list (and my lawyer advised me to have no contact)

Dear Mistress,

Oh sweetie, seriously you don’t have a clue, and that is what is truly sad.  

I won’t be responding to your destructive emails – I don’t need to communicate with you. It’s a waste of my time and energy.  I have everything I need right here.
I wish you all the best with your baby.  Goodnight.

Betrayed. 

Seriously, what are these women thinking?  Who would ever, in any normal scenario, email a complete stranger and beat them up emotionally and verbally like that?  The same kind of bitch who walks into a relationship with your husband and feels as though she is deserving of YOUR happiness, that’s who.  Who in their right mind commits an act that is widely reputed to be WRONG, and then in the wake of being discovered, lashes out at those who are hurt by their actions?  Weren’t we taught to mend our mistakes as children?  Weren’t we schooled in the art of eating humble pie when we caused harm to another, no matter how hard it is to admit your fault?  Aren’t we all supposed to know how to do that by the time we are old enough to have adult relationships?  Apparently not everyone got the memo.

If this has happened to you, whether over email or the phone, please remember (as hard as it is), that none of it is true.  The mistress is a broken, hurting, pitiful, sorry little girl who got herself messed into grown up business and is scared.  She watched her entire dream crumble, and you will be made the scapegoat. It will be easier to blame you for the collapse of her fantasy than for her to realize that she wasn’t the one he wanted.  In my case, it was easier to hurt me, than to feel the hurt herself.  Someone who is that broken simply can’t take the hurt and continue to survive.  They deflect it to others.

These emails tore me apart when I first read them.  They targeted the very fears I had in the wake of the discovery and made me truly question myself.  I wondered if he cheated because I’d gained failed to lose the last 15 pounds after my last pregnancy, despite ongoing efforts, bootcamp and a personal trainer.  I worried I was fat and unattractive, and here she confirmed it.  I wondered if he was really going to stop all contact with her, and whether he still thought of her, and here her email told me that he was always thinking of her, even when seemingly concentrated on me and our family.  I worried that he had been involved in an emotional affair (much harder to recover from than a purely physical one), and her words that he’d sought out her comfort while I was unconscious in surgery confirmed it for me.  At least at the time, it did.  But then I read her comments about me being materialistic and shallow and I knew that she was off course because those things could not be further from the truth.  I read her part about me being consolable with Tiffany’s jewelry, and knew she was grasping at straws.  I can count on my fingers how many jewelry pieces I own.  Not many.  I do find jewelry pretty, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that I haven’t been able to learn how to accessorize, and frankly, most of the time I can’t be bothered.  I’ve worn the same earrings in my ears for a decade, the same rings on the same fingers.  Shallow and materialistic?  Hardly.  When I realized her comments were not ALL accurate (at least the ones I could verify), I started to question their validity.  I asked my husband (tentative of course, because I’d just been lied to, so who’s to say he would be truthful….but he had nothing to lose by telling me the truth and we both knew it).

I re-read her emails now with an entirely different point of view.  What a loser.  What a complete and totally ridiculous excuse for a human being.  And to think that this woman works as a NURSE. She works in a caring profession that provides comfort and care to those who are suffering.  That is laughable, don’t you think?

I try to remind myself that people who do this, who bully others, they are just broken people who are suffering in their own worlds.  She was jealous, and that fuelled her rage for me.  My husband doesn’t find me unattractive, and he never said so.  Her later comments over the telephone to me that he used to call me “heifer”, were completely untrue. He never told her he loved her, and never told her he wanted to be with her.  In fact, he has shown me the emails, many of which tell a different story – a story of a man, honestly telling her that he didn’t want a relationship, and later, that he didn’t want a child.  Emails which clearly tell her that he cares about his family, and doesn’t intend to leave them.  One email, in fact, stating that even if I were to leave him, upon finding out, that he still would not be with her.  Deluded as she is, she read right over those words, and created her own “truth”.  They all do.

All of her lies in those emails, designed to deepen the furrow in the fault line the affair created in my marriage.  Knowing who to believe, and who to have faith in is hard, when you’ve discovered you are married to someone capable of such lies.  But, for my own sanity, I needed to trust that he’d never say those things, and I do believe that. It was one of the few things I could believe in those early days.

Mistresses who willfully cheat with a married man are sad and pathetic, in my eyes.  Especially those who are single and unwed.  At least married women who cheat with married men have an idea of the investment in a marriage.  Perhaps that makes it worse, I don’t know.  All that I do know is that the woman who slept with my husband had a blatant disregard for me, for my home, and for my marriage.   Naive and unaware of what it takes to create a family, and foster a marriage, she just weaselled her way in.  I have to wonder if she will feel as justified in her actions when she has been in a marriage for 10 years.  I’d like to think she will have a change in perspective.  Then again, does the devil ever really change her tune?

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Comments

  1. I can’t imagine reading those emails. At least the pig my ex left me for after 14 years of marriage had the decency to run from me. You hold your head up and stand your ground. You are amazing.

  2. HoldingOutForKarma says:

    I confronted the “OW” at a public event; however, it was done privately. Just introduced myself as “so-&-so’s” wife and I understand we need to talk”. At that point, all I knew it was a “friendship.” 19,000 + text message “friendship,” oh silly, naive me. **sigh** However, if I knew then what I KNOW now…I probably would have cold-cocked that whore. However, I’m glad I didn’t because jail most likely sucks.
    She’s a coward! Then and now. Back then She ran straight to and told my lying, cheating husband of me confronting her. Had absolutely NOTHING to say to me. When I heard that she was pregnant, I texted messaged her & all I got was claims of innocence and what’s her business is HER business. Then when, supposed friends & other co-workers wives’ (knowing the situation & who the baby’s daddy was) followed through with throwing a baby shower for her. My friends, sent out word of the injustice, and I (the betrayed) received an out pouring of support. Well, I then became the bad guy. I have copies of text messages from her cronies that I was the one attempting to ruin her & the babe’s life b/c of “unneeded stress MY phone calls & emails were causing her & that nobody else needed to know HER business.” I mean, wtf!?! What kind of loyalty do people have these days. I DON’T agree with “hate the sin, but NOT the sinner.”
    Court proceeding are still pending, and I honestly don’t know what I will say or do when I see her. There is so much I want to say/do to her.
    I too was advised by lawyers NOT to communicate her that “woman” & that term woman is used loosely, b/c NO woman, true WOMAN in her right mind would go seek out a taken/married man.

  3. Jennifer Daly says:

    Because the affair consumes our lives, we take a disproportion of notice of every little detail regarding it.

    It’s very easy to over-think every little thing that is said by the mistress. But when, as an outsider to your affair, I read her e-mail, the over-riding tone is one of someone trying way too hard to make herself seem as if she is “the one”. It’s almost as if she’s trying to convince herself of her worth, her beauty, her allure, her place in your husband’s life.

    If she honestly feels loved by him, she could live quietly & smugly in that knowledge. There would be no need to state each tiny thing, which her mind has decided, makes her the object of his love. The tone of her correspodence, is of someone un-hinged & lonely who needs to convince the world that she “has something” others want.

    Your comment about those who bully has been found to be true by those associated with bullying in schools. A bully will generally have low self-esteem. They feel others have so much more. Not so much materialistically, but more as a whole person. The bully wants to bring their victim down to their sad, inadequate level.

    This woman is unworthy of your time & energy. Such a bummer about her having a child. Try to ignore her as best you can. And show her that you’re a happy, succcessful, wife & mother. You are above anything she tries to throw at you. Let Karma take care of her as I’m sure it will.

    Cheers 🙂

    Jen

    • OH My…Karma will get her. Trust me it always does.
      Ignoring her would be the best but with the financial monies that come on every month from her, easier said than done.
      Those emails were horrible but I do remember you mentioning these when we met last weekend. You really got her going in them and she was acting like a little girl not being able to get her way. She was saying everything that could hurt you-but dear friend-you were strong and amazing. You got her “goat”. And then you shut her down.
      “Dancing with the devil.” She is having her time with the devil but one person will be bringing her down and crushing her wall. Just be patient and sit back and watch with a nice big glass of expensive wine. :):):):)

  4. Henry Adams says:

    Still being stalked by my husband’s psychopathic ex-mistress 8 years on. Past antics include disgusting parcels delivered to my work, multiple texts and emails (95% of which were never replied to), telling the British police that my husband burgled her flat in London and assaulted her (we were living in Hong Kong at the time, so that’s really some sort of supersonic travel), threats to me over the Internet and, a couple of months ago, snail mail letters to key people in my company; the utterly insane rationale of which seemed to be ‘Her husband had an affair, you should fire her.’ This, by the way, is a 56 year old woman (quite a bit older than me), with a 23 year old daughter who she has included in the madness. Oh, and she works as an alternative energy therapist and psychic healer. Go figure. One can only assume that she hasn’t checked out her own chakras for the last decade.

    • That’s insane! 8 years later and she is still pathetically holding on? It must give you some satisfaction to know that she’s being driven by hurt. Why else would she bother? Is there a child involved who is a constant reminder of the relationship? And to pull her daughter in? What could she possibly say to her daughter to justify her actions?

      • Henry Adams says:

        No, no child and I have never, ever met her. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said ‘she watched her entire dream crumble and you will be made scapegoat.’ I also agree that holding on for this length of time is utterly insane and genuinely believe that she needs to get help.

  5. I love you ladies ! I feel so comforted listening to you each identifying the borderline personality disorder…aka. “madness ” that it is …. that each of these HOORS share !
    Her letters were projections of her “through the looking glass” delusions and distortions. She had nothing, … so she has to pretend to have everything ! it is all desperate psychobabble !

    Hugs to you all…. Hang tough

  6. Keep laughing at her. Shes the only one that looks like the idiot. 🙂

  7. cassee01 says:

    when I read those emails I see a woman who was desparately trying to get you to leave your husband so she could have him – she was projecting most of her thoughts on to you – so glad your husband didn’t fall for the mirage

  8. forsarap says:

    WOW. I mean wow. That woman is straight up sadistic. At first I was like, well, you don’t know what your husband said to her. Maybe she really didn’t know he was married and was really a genuine victim of a bad situation. But no that woman is nut sack crazy. I don’t know how someone could knowingly be with a married man. That’s crazy.

    • She most definitely knew that he was married. His office desk had a picture of his three children on it. She would email me “accidentally” with suspicious information, trying to stir up shit. She absolutely knew he was married. She sat with me at Starbucks, claiming to be just a coworker, and came to my home. She knew full well he was married, and nut sack crazy doesn’t begin to cover it, but you’re on the right track. Lol

  9. Oh, I have been through this. I have heard the I feel sorry for you and blah blah blah over and over again. Really? Feel sorry for me? I have also been told that I was materialistic as well. Sadly, women who cant afford the finer things, or have men that are unwilling to provide them with them usually throw that in our faces. However, that is fine. I will take that and more. The “last one” got me a brand new Lexus! Trust me, I had NO problem accepting that gift. Did it make things right? No, but I sure did love it!

    Read this. . .
    http://iminlovewithaserialcheater.com/?s=why+do+men+affair+down+

    I found this article written by a man who shared his view on the OW. It is very true. I have always found it so odd that they get so angry that we stay with our men! How could we, they cheated, they lied! But these are the men THEY want. . .Sad. . .

  10. I'm The Prize says:

    On D-Day, when my husband wouldn’t answer his cell phone after telling her it was over, she dared to call my house phone. I got to hear every last detail from her smug self. What she didn’t count on was that I loved my husband. What she didn’t count on was that I was willing to try to put things back together. What she didn’t count on was that when I demanded he not have anything to do with her or her sick, insane husband ever again that he would gladly comply.

    She said all kinds of things to me. Things I refuse to write. I wish I could know that she’d read this because I have a few things I’d like to say:
    *MY husband knows that when he was vulnerable he was an easy mark for someone like you who wanted a divorce for 3 years but couldn’t afford it (and you called me pathetic for wanting to stay with someone who cheated when you have now spent 5 years living in the same house with a man who wanted to get rid of you so badly that he threw you at his best friend and helped hide your affair?)
    *MY husband was stupid to believe all of that ego stroking you did and he knows it.
    *MY husband knows that while he was using you he was being used too.
    *MY husband now refers to you as the “crazy bitch”.
    *MY husband had gone to an attorney and had papers drawn up to take out an order of protection against you and would have had them enforced if you had not stopped contacting us.
    *MY husband says you weren’t a great lover just an available one.
    *I’m not going anywhere.
    *I’m still married to the man who loves me and you are even thought of unless I bring you up.

  11. stacey205 says:

    I have just discovered your blog. I am in tears as I read because the scenario is way too familiar. I wish I had found your blog 6 months ago. The OW in my case started posting on Facebook and that is how I discovered the affair. Log story short, I knew her, very well, and trusted her. The affair lasted 4 1/2 years. We are trying to make things work and I am so thankful for people like you who fight for what they believe. Thank you!

  12. Envy and jealousy ..even more than lust is at play ….These aspects build up as the person takes more and more risks to get whatever they want . There is a pattern of increasing behaviors as the various efforts to gain what they want by stealth and deceit ….the way sin works IN someone who deliberately disregards and rejects moral laws…..greater risks and as those ‘succeed’ to capture the clueless who have disregarded learning to govern and respect boundaries they are the prey …vulnerable to their own deceitful hearts and lustful flesh.

    1Ti 5:6 But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.

    This is speaking of a LIFESTYLE of disregard for living according to the truth that GOD offers us ….and those who live predatory lives fill their own ‘cup’ with their choices.

    Those who stalk the prey of wealthy and successful men are bolder now more and more than ever and are clever in their tactics.

    Proverbs gives us all the wisdom and warning of what is going on and what to do to avoid being decieved….yet denying the truth leads people to fall for lies.

    Those wicked words were right out of the pit of hell. The devil accuses of what HE himself is ….and those who are taken by him do what their father does …He is a murderer and a the Father of lies….

    These fiery darts will become their own shackles lest the believe ….it takes humilty and a heart broken over sin to be delivered….This I believe .

    These women are captives in need of the Savior …because they do not just harm those who are not doing anything to them …and do not know them …but they pursue to harm children as well

    If ever there was a CRIME that needs to be dealt with …this …it is equal to child predatory…and kidnapping because it brings broken hearts and broken homes even if there is reconcilation.

    We live in a hyper-sexualized world . Men must take the effort to learn what and how to deal with this to protect not only the love for his wife but to protect the hearts of his children!

    My husband had a secret life …not due to any lack at home except his own efforts to have it ‘all’ …and to be ‘independent’ ….He had it all and then some…more than most will ever dream of ..and once he turned from renewing his mind and caring about pleasing GOD he was taken quickly into the ‘comfort’ of the ungodly…first among those in his business realm who have no real respect for God or marriage and less for the stay at home wife.

    The family was put on ‘auto pilot’ as he laid all of the god given responsibilities upon me and I submitted but spoke to him gently and directly about the losses to himself and the ways his absence and neglect was effecting all of us for the sake of his ‘career’ …which was used to justify his lengthy days away …home exhausted…

    After D Day which revealed his 14 year adultery …made on terms more like a business deal …where she knew from the very beginning it was an ‘arrangement’ she worked over time …following our family as we moved around …getting him to hire her and then make her his business partner …then urging him to give her children ..because of her long time ‘going with him’ and missing other opportunities where she ‘could’ have had a marriage.

    Tell me ..what woman at 28 does not recognize the need to leave married men alone IF she REALLY wants to marry and have a family! what woman accommodates an arrangement with a married man who never slept over once and never veered from his original statement that he was never going to leave his wife ? She did NOT want marriage but used his guilt and observable sense of responsibility and pride to cause him to feel sorry for her and guilty for his ‘using up ‘ those years,

    She was simply a CON ARTIST with a long …a very long con in mind and she WORKED it and GOT is …two children she does not care for …more money than we have to give now that she has sucked several million and we are now on the verge of losing everything even though he finally has seen the light but does not want the kids to suffer for his actions.

    He bought her a house when the first child was coming ..and a new Lexus at that time ..and gardener and house-cleaner..While our family lived a far more modest life and did our own work.

    His pride and status were all she could see and lust for what she THOUGHT I had. She was decieved. Though he has had SOME success over the years…it is all gone now …and his health is waning .

    She is still sucking the life out of our lives…we do not want the courts or system involved and if they were she would have gotten a LOT LESS but I keep all records of cancelled checks and those from the years before I found out .

    He is sorrowful and ‘dead’ inside ‘ demoralized by what kind of man he has had to realize he has become.

    Did I say the Bible forewarns about the cost involved for this kind of choice? Well it is a hard lesson to learn that GOD was RIGHT!

    I only pray that these will repent ..turn from their selfish ways and seek forgiveness and repentance from the Lord. So far he quit her but continues with seeing the children for their good …but he dropped all of his efforts to work in our marriage…33 years and lonely in love …that is a hard place to be ..but he does not want her ..only used her for sex…and that too is hard since I know now how he could observe me all those years and not want me .

    I used to think he might be gay ! I thought that was a horrible thing for him to have to keep secret …but now I find out that though I was ‘better in bed’ and ‘better looking ‘ he still could not stop going several times a week to be with her….

    The children were a ‘hook ‘ which he resisted but gave her and then he was kept bound by their lives…

    Our children missed having their dad even though he was ‘there’ and now they too know why they were in a sense ‘replaced’ as I was by this OW …it is a horrible CRIME against human beings that these women do …I say women because even though the MAN IS responsible for his crime against his vows to GOD and to his wife…I say if the women were not making it so easy for men and the culture was not so hyper-sexual ..then it would be less of what it is today.

    Thinking of sex as a sport now by BOTH genders…it is no wonder that people who fail to learn the depth of what marriage is in purpose and in function will be prey and without a thought find themselves slaves to sin …trapped by the snare of fleshly lures unbound by regard for the way out of the HEART come the issues of life ..and GOD told us that the heart of man is DECEITFUL and DESPERATELY WICKED ..but the way for us to gain understanding to equip us to be protected from this weakness of character is to make HIM lord instead of our carnal minds….to learn OF HIM and FROM HIM the VALUE of life, marriage , spouse and family and thus to PROTECT all of it by way of governing one’s OWN life and body.

    Those who CHOOSE to be the OW are indeed SICK …in many ways but it is FROM their OWN CHOICES …everyone KNOWS how hurtful and wrong adultery is and taking what is not yours…even if it is OFFERED to you ..STEALING is STEALING

    Adultery involves the breaking of ALL commandments …does it not?

    The time spent on this planet is to grow in learning HOW to honor life and the Lord of life…not to exploit others !

    Hbr 9:27 And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment:

    Ecc 12:13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this [is] the whole [duty] of man.

    Having sex outside of marriage is the BIGGEST RIP OFF that is deceiving mankind …and they do not realize the losses that they have not entered into because they did not invest themselves in the treasure of what GOD brought together and blessed. IT was robbery! They MISSED it!

    Pro 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies.

    Pro 19:14 House and riches [are] the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife [is] from the LORD.

    Pro 23:27 For a whore [is] a deep ditch; and a strange woman [is] a narrow pit.

    “Ditch” and “pit’ are both analogies for ‘grave’

    Pro 6:23 For the commandment [is] a lamp; and the law [is] light; and reproofs of instruction [are] the way of life:

    Prov 6:16 These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:

    17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,

    18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,

    19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

    20 My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother:

    21 Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck.

    22 When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee.

    23 For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:

    24 To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.

    25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.

    26 For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adultress will hunt for the precious life.

    27 Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?

    28 Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?

    29 So he that goeth in to his neighbour’s wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.

    30 Men do not despise a thief, if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry;

    31 But if he be found, he shall restore sevenfold; he shall give all the substance of his house.

    32 But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.

    33 A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.

    34 For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.

    35 He will not regard any ransom; neither will he rest content, though thou givest many gifts.

    And OH HOW TRUE THIS IS AS WELL …>….

    7 My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with thee.

    2 Keep my commandments, and live; and my law as the apple of thine eye.

    3 Bind them upon thy fingers, write them upon the table of thine heart.

    4 Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman:

    5 That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words.

    6 For at the window of my house I looked through my casement,

    7 And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding,

    8 Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house,

    9 In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night:

    10 And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart.

    11 (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house:

    12 Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.)

    13 So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him,

    14 I have peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows.

    15 Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee.

    16 I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt.

    17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.

    18 Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves.

    19 For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey:

    20 He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed.

    21 With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.

    22 He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks;

    23 Till a dart strike through his liver; as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life.

    24 Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth.

    25 Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths.

    26 For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her.

    27 Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death

  13. well, I found them! Thank you for pointing me to them. UNBELIEVABLE. What in the world is wrong with these women? Can you explain to me why people think that innocent wives have no right to be angry about these women? I can NOT figure this out for the LIFE of me! I am the “crazy one” for being angry because her emails to me clearly illustrate that she is “truly sorry”. Please explain this phenomenon.
    The emails hurt more, and filled me with more rage, then the affair itself. Why is this so misunderstood? feel free to use the contact amanda link (private)
    signed, confused amanda

  14. I am so glad I found this blog. My husband left me nearly 5 months ago having had an affair with a woman who we not only knew, but who had lost her husband in a bike accident only 6 months previously. I too have been subjected to the most awful e-mails from her. Essentially she blames me for their affair, stating that they only started a relationship because I “pushed him away”, no thought given to the problems I was having at the time, not least with our son who was just 2 1/2 years old. The last e-mail I received was so hate filled and vile that it set my recovery process back by miles. How can somebody who has made the decision to get involved with a man she knew was married, knew had children be so utterly vicious and cruel to his wife? I can’t bear to read it again as it just destroys me. I can only imagine she is projecting her own insecurities onto me as she is much older than both of us and my husband appears to be completely dependent on her for everything emotionally and financially. He moved in with her immediately. We’d been married for 14 years, their relationship (they tell me) had only been going on for a month. She’s got him, so why she feels the need to treat me with such callous disregard is beyond me. I am banking on karma dealing with it, while I concentrate on my kids and rebuild my life! Thanks for writing this blog!

    • I am so very sorry. I’m glad you found the blog too! You know, regardless of whether we stay or leave, these women seem to have an agenda of harm. It doesn’t make sense why she would continue to be hateful when she has him. Please don’t look at it like “she won”, because she didn’t. He’s a broken man, so if that’s a win…well it isn’t. A win is coming out stronger than how you went in. The only one that can do that is you. Have you given any thought to attending any of the healing weekends I blog about? They are life changing.

      • Thank you so much for your reply. I will never understand it, will never understand how he could have left his son, a baby he begged me to have while in my early forties. He has cut us off financially, he just does everything she says…and she too has a child undergoing bereavement counselling after losing his father! What a twisted mess! We will be divorced shortly sadly, he didn’t want to come back so he will have to live with his decisions. I will win in the end! I feel better every day but this has to have been the most traumatic experience of my life thus far. I wish I could attend a healing weekend, but I am in the UK, something like that would do me a lot of good I should think!

      • I wonder if they would consider offering them there. I know they just did Australia 🙂

        He should be paying you child support and with the law in the UK, since you have custody of your son, you are entitled to 70% of the house value you shared.

  15. Carol Kauffman says:

    Although my H’s 10 year mistress has never once to this day has contacted me despite my 2 respectful emails, I have met women like your H’s mistress through my son’s experiences. I, too, have been blown away by the evil of these women. One woman accused my son of rape, (he hadn’t even been near her) then called us to “cut a deal” so she would recant her story. The police detectives found my son was her 4th extortion victim. She later showed up in the mental health system where my husband worked – not sure what her diagnosis was, but I think it was something like bipolar/borderline. I can only think that the number of these types and sociopathic females is growing at an unprecidented rate. Why? That’s the million dollar question…But I’ve sometimes wondered – if a woman comes into your home and steals all your jewelry – she has broken the law, can be tried and sent to jail. But if she steals your husband, your life, your sanity – she gets off scot free. It’s just not fair!! I am on a mission to double or triple my acts of compassion whenever I can to counteract what’s happening in our society today, e.g. when I found out my H had tipped his lap dancer $20 of our money, I tipped a nice waitress $20 the next week. What else can we do?? Sending good wishes to all you wives with a “fatal attraction” situation in your lives.

Trackbacks

  1. […] him out, she suddenly became angry with ME, and took out all of her rage and hostility on me.  She sent me nasty emails , laughed at me, degraded me, abused and decimated what was left of my self esteem.  Why was she […]

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