It’s a well established fact in therapy that it can be very healing and therapeutic to express oneself to those who have harmed us by composing an emotionally purging letter that one doesn’t send (or perhaps you do…or perhaps someone else sends it for you). You let it ALL hang out, scream and express all the things you never dare said, finally get that comeback that you thought of only later…either way to said it, she heard it…and you feel better.
What would YOU say if you had the chance?
I’d like to offer any of you who have been betrayed the opportunity to send me your letter. I’ll post it for you here, and you can say what you want, name names if you want to, and get it off your chest. Together we will purge…and garner support from others who feel the same way.
Send your email to rescuingmymarriage@yahoo.ca
Rescuing My Marriage 
What a great idea!!! I will be sending mine soon!!! Keep up the good work!!!
This is a really great idea. I have written piles of letters, journal entries, etc. I also have acted like a screaming madwoman and have broken way too many plates and glasses. I’m telling you, throwing plates helps too! I also have secret fantasies in which the Cheater has to go around the neighborhood and tell everyone the truth about what happened and apologize. This is because he lied to everyone in the community where we have a summer home — he actually brought the OW there, introduced her around, and told everyone in our summer community that he was having a baby with the her!* (what an asshole; i’m still horrified that he did this and it’s been over two years now) Now I want him to have to go around to everyone in the summer community and tell them all about how he lied with me as a witness. At least in my fantasies I want this. In reality I don’t know if I actually want to do this.
* I then had to tell my teenaged son that there was an OW and OC on the way before he found out by text message from his summer friends. I’m still rip roaring mad that I was forced to have to tell my son in this way. He was totally crushed.
Susan, that is absolutely devastating. It’s one thing to be cheated on, it’s another thing to be replaced in the eyes of others with the other woman being introduced to have a significant person in his life. You don’t deserve that. I can completely understand your desire for retribution. I to have fantasies of revenge, and although they don’t usually involve my husband, lately I’ve been thinking about how we will tell her children. I think thinking about whether it’s necessary, whether the children are too young. Sometimes I think that I just wanted to tell them, so that he loses a small amount of respect from his children. On the other hand, I also want my children to understand why mommy has been on edge, why she hasn’t always been the best mom she could, NY sometimes she cries. Truthfully, with respect to that last statement, I have never cried in front of my children. However, them knowing the story, would allow me to, no longer feel the need to bottle of my feelings, run upstairs, turn on the shower, and hide to cry. I think it’s normal to have revenge fantasies. And I don’t care what anyone else says, I don’t think anyone needs to feel as though they need to “be the bigger person” when 2 people have strategically worked to harm them in the way that we have experienced.
This whole blog should be be included in every new employee orientation and sexual harassment workshop in this country!
Agreed!! Thank you for reading 🙂
As for writing revenge letters can you help me compose one to inform the Babymama that now that California has passed the more than 2 parents law , .. (if in the best interests of the child ), and where one of the bio parents is in a marriage relationship, that the non- bio spouse acquires status to obtain parental rights . Just using it as a threat to establish my rights is beyond unimaginable belief. As I know this is her biggest fear. Me using the law , just like she did , to get entitlement to what I want, even if meant as revenge disguised as justice ! Lmao-ROTFL
Dear Babymama, be careful what you wish for. If you think it is in the best interests of the child to use my community property interests to support your child, then perhaps I should alsom be a mother to the child. I am so looking forward to turning him from your evil upbringing to a more godly course of integrity .
Notice to women who commit adultery to bear a child… The wife may get the baby ! Now in CA .
Caveat emptor
Is that seriously law now in CA?!?!
Luckily for the Babymama whore… Gov. Moonbeam of CA. Vetoed the law on Sept.. 30 th, 2012 !
Oh well, for a while there I was salivating my option to threaten to terrorize her, and cost her attorney fees ! Being entitled to take what legally what I could. Shucks ! Revenge would have been wicked and would have shot a cannonball across her bow !
What law was it that was going to benefit you? I want to hear more 🙂
2012 , CALIFORNIA Senate bill 1476. ( SB-1476 Leno) google
Boy do I wish this was the law in Maryland! However I don’t know if I could look that child in the face everyday. The reminder and the resemblance to the “parasite” who gave birth to him. In my case, we planned on having children and he so badly wants a son. Now this whore is the one who gives him his first born son… I was robbed of that title and I don’t know if I could bare living with that child. still wish we had that law just to explore options other than the heartbreaking child support payment we are stuck with for the next 18 yrs
That is such a betrayal to you and a theft of your rightful place and privilege to bear his children. This pained me in reverse. My husband’s whore bore his last child, and the daughter she teased that “I couldn’t give him”. You have every right to feel jipped. It’s so
Painful in so many ways.