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Wisdom


I couldn’t have said it better myself

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Comments

  1. LOVE IT. My mental image of my husband’s affair has long been of two pilots struggling to keep an airplane aloft, as one disaster after another is striking the aircraft. I opted to stay the course, knowing that amazing could return after the difficult season we were in of losing his dad, business struggles, etc.
    He opted for the “easy” and strapped on a parachute and bailed out. The affair proved to be anything but, as his COW (crazy other woman) soon showed him. He risked everything for nothing. Luckily we are both firmly back in control of plane, and hopefully learning how to navigate when hard times hit the next time. I am under no illusion that they won’t.

    • Great mental image. If I have learned one thing from my husband there is that no one is immune. Probably the biggest vulnerability that both he and I shared in common with the belief that this would never happen to us. We both hold very strong beliefs against behavior like this, my husband’s father having been a serial adulterer. He holds very little respect for his mother’s actions, and about to never be like him. And yet, when disaster struck our home, my husband did the same thing and bailed. It wasn’t so much that disaster struck home, has it was that he was undergoing a greater stress related to his family, I need job, greater responsibilities at work, and a boatload of stress that accompanied all of the above. At home, we were very happy. Sure, we Had 18-month-old child at the time, but the majority of that work on my shoulders. It’s safe to say that we are both under a lot of stress, with the changing family, growing children, work responsibilities, and now you belief that we would be able to handle it if something like this happen to us. We were so wrong.

  2. It seems so stupid now, but we felt immune as well. We had been together (married and dating) for a total of twenty seven years at the time his affair started. I truly felt at that point we could overcome any obstacles. We had faced down many life stresses together and it always seemed to me that our love not only won the day, but became stronger over the years. Despite opportunity, an affair was never an option for me. I loved him too much for that. I assumed the same was true for him. Seven months out of d-day, I am in a bit of a funk lately. I am struggling to raise my self-esteem. To feel worthwhile and “first choice” again. He is willing to do whatever I ask, and I see that. I am just struggling. The support here and on other boards has proven invaluable to me. I wouldn’t get by without it.

  3. tentativelyhopeful says:

    I love this – I may have to reblog as a reminder to me and him. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that we’re both Bob Marley fans.

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