Teleseminar recording is now available – Come listen!

Betrayed spouses…if you missed the opportunity to hear the teleseminar that took place this past week, on Tuesday night, February 5th, you can now hear it online.

Anne Bercht invited me to join her on the call this past week and share my story.  Those who have been following my blog know it well, but if you would want to listen in to the discussion that was had, click on this link to be taken to the recording, and think of attending future ones live, or just enjoy listening to past calls on the beyond affairs tele seminars page. 





  1. Hi. Just finished listening to the teleseminar (started last night but what with our kids, neighbour’s kids here and life in general I’ve only just finished!). I thought it was very helpful and answered some questions that had going through my mind since finding out. I know I’ve said this to you before but thank you for sharing your life for the past few years. I’ve been told it gets easier as time goes by, that’s hard to imagine at this point, but listening to others who have been through this gives me hope. I’ve looked for support groups where I live but unfortunately there are none so this sort of is my support group. Not just your blog (although yours has been most helpful) but others too. I think the best people to know how you truly feel are those who have been where I am right now. Once again, thank you 🙂

  2. Struggling with this says:

    Hi, thanks so much for putting this on here. It was very helpful. I am having some problems with retrieving my email bit I wanted to let you know the day and time you suggested are good with me. See you then.

  3. Just listened to the teleseminar. My husband had a fourteen year adulterous arrangment with a woman who approached him in a restaurant while he was transfered ahead of our family . They PLANNED TWO children who are now ages 9 and 13. I discovered this situation in 2006. I had just moved two properties and had been the ‘contractor’ on a massive remodel in a new state where I had followed my husband.

    This ‘revelation’ nearly killed me . At that time we had been married 26 years and I had homeschooled our three children all throughout their schooling years while moving every couple of years because of his climbing the corporate ladder.

    This woman was told from the beginning that he would NOT leave me ever. She was the pursuer but he did not discourage her and in fact after a year of it he hired her to be his business partner so he could ‘legitimize’ giving her money . As the manager he was only able to keep some of his profit so he was able to ‘pay’ her this way . It is this way also that did not make his sexual exploits seem so crass.

    When she got pregnant the first time he bought her a new townhouse after moving our family into a small and less useful home so he could have a shorter commute to see her and the baby . At the time I was willing to make the additional move so he would not have such a long commute HOME ! Little did I realize how much money he was giving her at any request. I always had to be accountable as we both had made this agreement before we married that it was wise to consult before spending an agreed upon amount.

    Soon after the adultery and his swift rise in business he no longer consulted me but from time to time did talk over plans …JUST to keep things from being suspicious.

    I now have added up the cancelled checks that are the paper trail from the year she stopped working and had the first child …and all the checks in between in case she ever wants to make an issue and go to court for child support…at the time of D DAY I went to an attorney who told me that at that time …the children were 6 and 3 I believe that he had given her the equivalent of THIRTY YEARS child support by the legal standards of calculation!

    Since then we have stayed married although after two years of ‘working ‘ on the marriage he began to be less enthusiastic and cooperative. Then one day as I was praying with him he stopped me to admit that he had been with seeing the children and had been lying to me …Then he left our bedroom not to return …

    I could not persuade him to stop the huge outflow of monthly money UNTIL he reconnected and realized what I had told him about the character of the kind of woman who has children for the MONEY …is exactly what he learned . She had cashed in ONE of the life insurance policies…Often the children did not have food and would call him to see if he would bring some …she was not often home with them even as the youngest was only 7 and had been diagnosed with a medical condition which I had learn of and told my husband about ….one reason he began to connect again with them

    The thing is that I had informed him of this condition and asked him if he though he should reconnect for the sake of the child …and he had said no …..I had believed eventually he should see them but had wanted us to heal more and for him to get more clear headed ….a fourteen year adultery is a very long time ! Longer than some marriages and longer than the time it took for him to start cheating on me from when we married …12 years at the time he met her.

    The continued effort he makes to be with the children hurts me and our children still because he would not make time for all of us when we needed it over the years because he was ‘working ‘ …I really thought his job demanded all of his time and when not working that he deserved the golf or whatever …..duh.

    I simply kept believing it was a wife’s job to be a cheerleader…and supportive of the husband and his career! I have since realized what a lie this is …the work of a man is supposed to support his family life not the other way around .

    His faith was left in the dust as his career change put him into the corporate culture and he tossed all of our fellowship and Bible time away .

    In essence he would go out the door each weekend demonstrating to our children that the Bible and GOD is for women and children , that my son has been given a very flawed view of the value of the Word of GOD.

    This woman once visited our home during a Christmas party for his office and as usual I gave her a tour of the home and the school room and explained more about the reasons behind why we chose to homeschool our children …and gave her a good testimony about Jesus Christ.

    She left determined to have a baby by my husband …a while ago the oldest child she has had told my husband that she hates Christianity and that she will never be like him in terms of politics. She has been raised to oppose all forms of godliness and morality …His presence may help change that but it is pretty difficult to effect their world view as their mother has done a pretty good job of indoctrination . She has them in therapy as she was in therapy since long before she met my husband .

    She is some 17 years younger than I …They live several miles from our home.

    I want my marriage to be whole again but it seems that there is little hope in that my heart breaks each day a bit as I ask about the children …I am sad for their situation and do not feel they should lose out but I have not met them and do not think meeting them would be useful considering their mother is a loose cannon mentally and emotionally.

    We are in deep debt even as my husband has reduced the monthly payments they are still over the state requirement but he wants to keep this out of the public eye. His job depends upon it .

    This situation has taken a lot out of me and my daughters who still live with us …they have been raised to prepare for marriage by not dating so they are more conservative than many and this has had a deep effect upon their future as well.

    My husband will not seek help and is very proud and stubborn . He basically feels stuck in his mess and is not willing to learn any more about what he himself might do .

    This is sad….and I am older now and I did appreciate hearing what has been offered …I have many MANY books and seminars but am pretty much without any network of anyone close …we are not involved in any groups or have many friends close by …no family to speak of …isolation except for when we go out to shop ..We are friendly and gregarious ….but this has been a real blow to our lives. I always have hoped in the Lord but I struggle more than before this ….

    I have no particular connections to any faith community either since having been burned a number of times by groups that were of various extra biblical interpretations in nature and having searched for a fellowship which adheres to the Bible without controlling or otherwise doctrinal additions to the word itself are rare.

    I have found some online and have a few in my past locations that are true to the scripture in their effort to learn and grow but I have few who are knowledgeable of my husband’s doings because I want to allow HIM to be the one to speak up for himself if he sees the wisdom of it.

  4. Still Loving Him says:

    Congratulations, I have nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award.

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