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Sermons from Facebook


This came across my Facebook feed today.

I sometimes get flack on this blog for not being supportive of my husbands OC, as if I have responsibility for her, and how she came into this world.

Now, I know better than to believe anything these commenters say, because I know that I had nothing to do with her creation, or her existence. I didn’t suggest to my husband that he take a mistress and have meaningless, unprotected sex with her. I didn’t force her to consider abortion and I knew that the decision about whether this child would be born would entirely rest on her shoulders while she held its life in the balance, depending on whether my husband and I stayed together, and how well we played her game.

So today this came through my feed and it resonated. I’ve never blamed the child. We feel deep sadness for the life her mother has brought her into, but just like the decision whether or not she would be born, we also don’t have any decisions there either. The best my husband can do, given the mental fragility of this woman, is to ensure the child is taken care of, and he does that through lawfully paid child support payments that are far in excess of what it costs to raise her.

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Comments

  1. loveydovey says:

    Indeed, My husband and the OW planned and had children. This is a deeply wounding fact of their making a CHOICE to do this . I have not done anything but support the necessity of support of those children as it is a horrible thing what both my husband and this woman did. The OW actually studied up on becoming a ‘single mom by choice’ as if she were like some women who work, pay for insemination and then go on to suppor their ‘choice’ made because of their belief in the ‘right’ to bare children in opposition to the laws of morality and God’s design for family.

    In essence people who do such things claiming that a sinful way of life is a ‘right’ and then expect all others to bare the responsibility for their lust and greed.

    This is evidence of the insanity of this way of thinking and ‘lifestyle’

    My husband made a decision to betray me and all of those who know him and us. The OW knew he was married and would never leave us . She DECIDED to take him on as sexual client and followed us as we moved from place to place as he was promoted ….She did not really want marriage. She wanted monitary support . Children was the best way to gain that for a length of time even if the arrangment they had somehow failed to continue.

    This sociopathic tactic….God help those children. For their sake we pay not by force of the social services but from our generousity we give more than they might have had under that system.

    I keep very good records of all checks and copies should there be any challenges .

    This kind of woman is more prevalent now as time goes by sadly …I pray for her and them for that is commanded, My husband has come to his senses and realizes what her whole sophisticated con has been. She is now gone back to get ANOTHER degree in order to work in the social system ! God help people that she goes on to interfere in families …she has not been taking care of the children she has …leaving them alone since ages 7 for long periods of time and not providing enough groceries.

    The one is quite ill and on drugs for his nervous condition. They all see a therapist weekly . The mother has been under psychiatric care since high school …

    All the while I was home schooling our children all through school and giving them a solid foundation and respect for the God of the Bible . They are solid citizens of godly character.

    The OW still does not work full time and lives on the finances that we provide to our own debt.,

    The children are a great deal biased against Christ and our family yet their mother uses our finances to continue to live freely doing whatever she likes.

    This is sad for those children .I grieve for the way these two selfish people DECIDED what was to be the reality of our family while they enjoyed themselves in sinful indulgences ….stealing in EVERY aspect of life from all who they were supposed to care about .

    I cannot imagine a woman deliberately having children knowing they would not have a true famlly …I know that she did this with this kind of idea from her own letter reiterating that she knew she was not going to have my husband in marriage because it was the agreement from the beginning.

    Many years of our marriage were not what I had thought. This is not unusual for other women married to clever, charming and successful men who are skilled at orchestrating a routine which allows them to freely behave any way they want and still keep those at home in the dark.

    I trust in the Lord because HE is faithful to His word to those who are in relationship with Him

    My husband blamed God for not stopping him! What cheek! People want to enjoy free will choice but want God to step in and inhibit that free will! That is not how the God of the Bible behaves…He will not possess or control people ..He works WITH those who become His and invest time to study to find out what He has said he WILL do. Crossing over the jurisdiction of free will of individuals is NOT something God Almighty does .People who want to have a relationship with Him are those who COME TO HIM and then COOPERATE doing what He advises in His word.

    We are accountable to Him for our choices ..how we decide to do things…because He has provided truth for us to learn by seeking it out.

    My husband is accountable and that Ow is accountable …they BOTH KNEW what was morally wrong or they would not have worked so hard to hide it! They both have yet to come clean to those children who are now older. When they find out I am sorrowful to believe their shock at having their whole life being ‘manipulated’ by their mother and my husband will not be unlike my own when I discovered their photos quite unintended …Shock and then ongoing deep sorrow.

    Betrayal by those who you trust is forgivable but not really forgettable nor is it advisable to trust easily those who have demonstrated such deliberate disrespect for those closest to them

    There is no other relationship in life where this would go undelt with ….banking ? Shop keeping? none …there would be prosecution….nothing in this life is done about adulterers. So it is increasing rapidly …so far….consequences follow no matter who you are of what you do …they cannot outrun this truth …what you sow you will reap.

    Those children need more than just a meal and financial support ..so far it has not been forthcoming to those who are their closest and most charged with this responsiblity.

  2. I am in the situation where the OC has been used as a weapon also. Despite my husband doing what he could to help care for the child and when I found out I tried to bring the child into our family. We still have no control over how the mother chooses to do things. In our case the child is in another state now and she doesn’t bring him back for visits like she is supposed to.

    None of this mess was in your control. It was all hers, by her choice. I feel for the child in that situation also, but it is not in your hands. You didn’t make the mess and you can’t fix it. And by no means should you mentally beat yourself up over any of her choices either

  3. Little do people understand the social dynamics at play where out of wedlock children are conceived by psychopath-narcissist mothers , hell bent on destroying another woman’s marriage.

    These deviants will do or say anything to keep total control over “their” child. They cannot separate themselves emotionally from the child. They will not do what is in the ” best-interest-of-the-child”. You can not give these women a stage and players for her to create more drama, which is just fuel on the fire, feeding her narcissist-supply .
    It is a toxic situation, and sad for the child. Yes…. But it was totally the other woman’s choice to exploit a situation that could bring a child into the world to try to entrap a man. Her choice.

    Legally a parent like this can so exploit the child in the court systems that her ploys and conduct of non – cooperation will make everyone else’s life miserable. The best thing for the child in this unique scenario is to go “no contact ” with the abusive mother . K The legal system gives these damaged mothers total control where relationships are concerned. Parential alienation is the next manipulating game the mother will play with the child to keep total control. They will twist anything and everything to suit their agendas….. So you can not allow your family to get played or sucked in. Especially with false allegations of misconduct and child abuse claims to further destroy the noncustodial father and the stepmother lives.
    We can only hope that one day the child will come to understand the truth of the situation and emotionally recover from the emotional abuses of his mother.

    • daphne3631 says:

      I wish that they start a law where there are two options– if the wife is ready to accept the child whole heartedly, then she get the custody or if no the child be put up for adoption. This is best for the OC This way they get a stable family and life.
      I know many will call me heartless for saying that they should be aborted. Understnd That I think so not because I hate OC , its because I hate seeing them go through such pain, I hate seeing them living with a witch, I hate it when their own mother uses them as weapon to get moneyI hate seeing the pain of wife and her kids.
      I feel hat no child should live a life like this. It is better that they are allowed to take birth where they can live more peacefully rather than get a life with a whore mother.

  4. I am always completely and totally shocked when I read comments criticizing you (or any other BS) for being in a no contact situation with an OC. Just as most of us have probably said in our lives that cheating would equal immediate divorce (an obviously it didn’t) we cannot say TRULY what we would do until placed in the situation of having BOTH an OC involved and a bunny boiler mother. In a perfect world, there would be NO infidelity. Our cheating spouses would have discussed their issues with us, trained counselors, pastors, etc. Barring that, they certainly would have acted to prevent unwanted pregnancy. Barring THAT, they certainly wouldn’t have chosen psychopathic or sociopathic women to get involved with. A “normal” and reasonable woman would likely not be as much of a problem to deal with regarding visitation if she was remorseful and regretful over what she had done.

    My husband’s skank mentioned a child a few times, but generally admitted that kids were not her thing. For her too, it would have just been an additional manipulation tool and long term financial gain. The look on my husband’s face when I asked him if even ONCE….ONCE! He considered that she could have been tampering with the condoms that SHE always provided. That we could be in the situation of supporting an OC. No, of course not.

    I am a huge believer in personal responsibility. If a woman wants to have a child alone, that is certainly her choice, however poor and ill-considered it may be under the circumstances. These women choose to get pregnant, knowing full well that their choice of baby daddy is NOT available for a relationship. Knowing that he is stealing something from his wife and legitimate family. And honestly, I don’t care what she “believes” to be true. I don’t care what the married man “told” her at the time. Bottom line, he is married and not to her. She should be smart enough to realize the risk of proceeding. Is that “fair” to the child? Of course not. Neither is it fair for kids to be raised by drug addicts. Life isn’t fair. We have spent over two years being harassed and cyber bullied by the affair partner. My children have been threatened and scared. My husband has been sick with guilt over what he has done, what he has exposed us to. If there had been an other child involved, I can say with a high degree of certainty that my decision would fall into the no contact category. I would never expose my children to that level of psychosis on a regular basis. I would definitely feel sad for the OC, but my primary concern would be for the well being of the four he already has. Enough damage is done via affairs. I don’t think ALL the children need suffer.

  5. I agree with you . It is clear that our whole family is going to suffer more and more as he ‘fulfills’ his ‘responsibility ‘ toward those OC ….we suffer daily anyway in some form or other and his ability to REALLY ‘fulfill’ is very limited and may even prove to be worthless in the long run.

    Parenting is so MUCH MORE than money! ….Children require to be lead and taught what is godly and good ..to have their character formed by way of daily and ongoing intentional observation and giving of wisdom that will help them avoid making the same mistakes or falling for them throughout their lives.

    My husband’s ongoing turn from the Lord and then a deep DIVE into all that has filled him with a blindness as to what IS actually right and worthwhile has brought about a very shallow relationship with those children as they are getting older…having the peer pressure applied and he is not feeling that he has any place to ‘intrude ‘ with a true parental role.

    He has seemed to take a view of children as a ‘narcissistic feed’ and wants to be their ‘friend’ and will not risk their ‘love’ which …if only based upon being told what they want to hear and bought what they want …will backfire and does them little if any good.

    This is the effect of humanism which has caused all people to feel it is THEIR responsibility for all other people!

    I got some wise counsel and encouragement from a man who I had read a lot of his work in his seminars to offer men some truth from scripture that corrects the passive or the dominance way of men that has developed over the years where the Bible has had less and less influence even in those ‘forms’ called ‘church ‘ that we see all around. Humanism has become more and more the doctrine of the day with an overlay of the veneer of the Lord placed for those who do not investigate scripture to learn if what they hear is indeed what scripture reveals throughout the whole context.

    The understanding of JURISDICTION has been all but lost as has the understanding of ‘sovereignty ‘ and ‘boundaries’ …this is not by accident …without these distinctions being understood as GOD has placed them for us to learn and apply …we see chaos and exhaustion of what was intended to remain in the jurisdiction of the individual’s responsibility to GOVERN HIS OWN LIFE …and then when married he becomes responsible for those within the jurisdiction of that marriage covenant.

    Socialism has infiltrated and led the way through ‘educational’ curriculum and media to deconstruct these godly directed and designed venues for the nurture and protection of all …the family being a foundation of a society …Children being trained and taught to be wise and strong in the face of the challenges to those boundaries.

    Our nation has been demonstrating the truth of what many historical nations have experienced as they tossed aside the boundaries set by God for our good.

    The jurisdiction carries responsibilities …but when people do not know this they become vulnerable to what OTHERS THINK…becoming afraid to defy man but are unconcerned about defying GOD whose commands are good and protective rather than the way man now thinks of them as ‘restrictive’ .
    Eve had the very same problem ..as she was lured into believing somehow GOD was withholding something ..and every thing that we see recorded in Genesis about HOW she began to think before disregarding the word of GOD Adam told her…indicates this was UNNECESSARY >..every challenge that was brought to her mind was something she ALREADY had…it is recorded prior to her choice …that ‘all the trees were good for food.’ which was one of her recorded considerations about the tree of knowledge of good and evil…the same with being ‘good to make one wise’

    She had direct access to He who was all wise and willing to give her wisdom ..

    She then considered the offer to ‘be as gods ‘ yet in her ability to make a CHOICE she who was made in the very IMAGE of GOD her father ….was already imbued with the same power as GOD …the power to freely CHOOSE…

    However in her disobedience she became a HOSTAGE to the father of lies…the devil who is also said to be ‘the god of this world’ …HE lured Adam to disobey GOD ‘s one warning … command and he turned over the JURISDICTION of this world …becoming a CAPTIVE ..and thus losing his position .’

    This understanding is one that helps us understand what and who is asserting this power once given to Adam but is using it to seek to destroy mankind …one person at a time through deceit.

    It seems that deceit always comes at us claiming we are ‘missing something ‘

    Thus just as Adam and Eve HAD everything they were deceived to think they did not have …ADULTERERS go after the shadow …dropping the bone..just like it is illustrated in the fable about the dog crossing a bridge who drops his bone to reach for the reflected on he sees in the water below.

    The no contact is what should have occurred…the OW in our case researched to be as she told my husband ‘a single mom by choice’ …yes there IS such a group on line …to give ‘support’ to those women who decide to have a child outside of marriage for whatever reason.

    This OW decided to become a mother …a distinctly SINGLE mom but as it has been demonstrated it as only a PLOY to get MONEY …she did not care for my husband ..as he began to learn as the fog lifted and he began to see how she neglected them and I believe did so so HE would be worried and concerned enough to stay in contact.

    At the same time she has programmed those children from birth to live in rebellion to all godly ways …even the ones that would provide them with proper attitudes toward the necessity that respect for godly authority is provided through having a parent . Their love and ‘respect’ is in a form that suits their own fleshly desires and lusts which will serve well in the future for them to become JUST AS their mother .

    No matter what authority my husband may have he is not willing to assert it…even realizing the good it would be ..and to much degree he has little influence upon them ..as they have spent years now being fed their mother’s perspective and example of neglect toward them and any form of respectable behavior .

    She is not a street whore but a sophisticated soldier in the overt army that is out to destroy our civilization even as her emails declare admiration for communists and anarchists…She is a serious ‘womb’ for the cause …this is very deeply occult .

    My husband now assigns his doubts and suspicions to all women ..especially ME who has given him NO CAUSE to doubt my loyalty and trustworthiness.

    I believe this dynamic that has worked into his mind over the many years of rejecting his once growing faith …along with his lust to dive into any offering of those outside of our marriage and covenant relationship has effectively destroyed much of his mind .

    It is a very odd way that I have found this situation has been useful as I have delved further into my faith to understand the dynamics involved in HOW people are being more and more defiled and willing to be so …that I have learned to take these things into consideration.

    Long ago ..about the same time he began his adultery with the OW …I was asking the Lord to help me understand what was happening to the church as I found many things going on that caused me to wonder….since then many MANY hours of study in the Bible and many years through which I was fed more and more of what is truth and more and more of the religious fog was being swept from my thinking …that I am learning …and what I am learning was indeed not what I had thought about at the beginning ‘

    The facts remain that there are OC …and I have observed that soon after he sees them there is yet a repeat of his need to be ‘brought back’ to the truth …yet it is a struggle each time .

    He is surly and resistant…but after some time gently sharing the truth which IN and of itself is not ‘gentle ‘ in areas where sin abides and clings…he comes around ..Usually on Friday after a week of interaction daily with them ,…Friday as I begin to talk with him …the truths of scripture come out in conversation …not in any sort of King James ..but just truth as we have applied it in life …it is organic…

    Anyway the truth will always expose and challenge sin ..and when someone has a sin they PRACTICE ..and have made a way of life…they are NOT happy with this exposure…I do not accuse but simply ask questions that he has agreed to answer for accountability sake but the re exposure to his other life makes even these agreed upon areas challenging .

    It is like talking with a different person …by the time he has ‘settled down’ and somewhat been ‘recovered’ to his former self to some degree he is ‘tired’ …I think confronting oneself with truth is very difficult …but having another person to account to requires trust…

    Though I have proven my trustworthiness and good intentions his long held affection for this OW who is totally wicked and manipulative has caused him to see me in the same light despite his admission that there is no foundation for this .

    His mind is deterred from ‘seeing ‘ what he can eventually acknowledge as true!

    Thus no amount of MY working in this endeavor will prove to be long term effective without his own desire and effort to go after a genuine change in character and mind . Thus is supports what the word tells us that each person must ‘eat his own bread’ …we can HEAR someone account of their learning from their relationship with Jesus Christ but it is not living and real withing until we ourselves go after Him and seek to enter in by way of our own seeking and study of His testimony ..as HE told us HIS WORDS ARE spirit …they are living and must be taken Into the individual with appetite to learn and apply what they consume.

    Until that time and occurrence there has been little effect upon his choices and behavior.

    He has stopped ‘committing adultery’ but has not had a change of heart or mind toward GOD or marriage..He is still ‘insistent upon living his life independent of his jurisdictions …and yet takes on readily those jurisdictions that do not belong to him

    So like humans …As I said in the beginning of my quest…” Lord if anyone else had told me this about myself I probably would not have received it …’ “It is so much easier to work on someone ELSE ….’ but I needed for Him to “show me myself first…’the truth of my state’ …and so it has been my lifelong learning and struggling to receive truth about my ‘beams’ …yet through this I can see clearly what the same ‘beams ‘ are that restrict and stumble others in like situations .

    The ‘rub’ is that those who are invested emotionally and all other ways do not often want to be told what is destroying their lives…and pride prohibits even those who suffer from their choices to seek anything other than their own manufactured ways ,. I believe this is what Roman’s refers to as the resulting REPROBATE mind which cannot see …and will not .

    I pray that the conditions coming at us that will become the fruit of such rebellion in my husband’s ways as he effects those OC will not be tragic….but what is sown is bound to come up as a ‘crop’ sooner or later..it is a law…so IF he wanted to do something really helpful and good for them HE would sow the word into his own life…and then apply it to advising them.

    I have a ringside seat and try what I am able to bring light of what I have learned for him to consider but he still serves the ‘master’ of the world, the flesh and the devil as he goes forward living by his carnal natural mind and ways . Living to please and accommodate his flesh. his SELF….all in opposition to the commands of GOD in HOW to live in marriage and in life.

    I do fear that circumstances that may have to occur to turn him to the Lord may be very severe since all that HAS occurred one would think would have caused a concern for repentance! I pray for these because my Lord commands it and because I see their helplessness to see rightly what the dangers of going on in such a direction will bring upon them!

    YET I admit to struggling with the loss of my husband even as he breathes he is still cut himself from being in a relationship with me as a husband ..not just sexually but in ANY form of affection whatsoever…I see that the scriptures speak of this as the “death” even as one lives ..

    By his refusal to enter into life and his own marriage as he ought he is losing all of what all relationships should be an might be …He is proud and stubborn …and his own father and mother made statements before we married I should have taken heed to but thought my husbands own relationship with Christ would negate that influence…I was wrong.

    Had my husband continued faithfully to follow Christ that WOULD have been the case…but after marriage he turned from and denied the Lord…we were NOT in any denomination btw…but simply students of the Word and lovers of the Lord..amid others of like love.

    His parents statements belied an attitude toward anyone telling them anything about GOD …this hardness of heart toward the Lord was from their own background now that I have had a chance to research the roots of this unbelief and life practice….so it is not that the child is subject to assessment of their life choices by condemnation of what the parents lives have been but the influences is quite strong upon their own choice making ..thus many times the children repeat the same ways of their parents…uninterrupted by the way coming to the knowledge of the truth about the Lord will change direction of anyone willing to follow after Him.

    I have shared at length some of my thoughts I hope this will prove somewhat useful

    It would indeed be best for children to be brought into the world in the way that provides the care and protection God designed marriage of a man and one woman to provides as well provides for the parents cause and motivation to seek more truth as they care for what to do best with the children they are given to steward and care for ..for all belong to the Lord as he has bought us with a price of His blood..and we are not our own .

    Thus no one has any ‘right’ to bring any other person into the word to USE but then those who do so intentionally in the manner we see here are not concerned about what a child IS but how they may use them for their own intentions! Astonishing and shocking for any mother to observe…. as women were supposed to be more concerned about their own children than we see evidenced more and more as our world has been corrupting in every way as the love of many has grown cold…

    Mat 24:12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.

    Iniquity meaning lawlessness…and surely casting off the word of GOD is to case off His laws of life …thus we see this all around as his word has been tossed aside in order to live in pleasure…and lust has become what is not just acceptable but as Alaster Crowley the revered satanists has said ‘Love is the law’ …where we see GOD has said “the LAW IS love’

    The ten commandments stand as a summary and picture of what LOVE LOOKS LIKE….thus the ‘love’ that Alaster Crowley and many of the rock musicians over the past have put forth is NOT LOVE but is a counterfeit based upon LUST promotes sin …and ungoverned flesh will follow after lust and it will bring about death … and sin KILLS…

  6. loveydovey says:

    Recently my husband accused me of ‘hating’ the OC ….it was not true . He had to retract that as he was reminded of how many years now ….six and counting we have had to watch him go to spend time with them and give support though it is difficult in every respect.

    It as HE that put me in a situation where I am caught between wanting to share in his care for them and have a relationship that might be of some help and actually provide some better moral influence but there are problems. First I am not wanting to get in the middle of this with an unstable woman who has had no quams about doing such a HUGE crime…I also do not want to wound our own children any more than my husband’s choices already have and finally the children have told my husband they are not comfortable with meeting me or our family.

    HE is the one who put me and our children in such a terrible position. I tried to extend an offer to meet with her to talk and she never responded. I went with my husband at his request to meet the kids but I decided not to put them in a stressful situation which might be preceved to be ‘threatening’ not knowing what their mother had told them. I also wanted to give the OW some kind of opportunity to prepare herself for a first meeting .

    The only way I have had of knowing how she would feel about a visit from me to become known to those children was her text she sent upon finding out that I had been with him that day and sat in the car …she had requested he go get meds and get them to the boy who was home sick ALONE at the age of 8.

    Despite my ‘right’ as my husband’s wife I did not want to start up any kind of situation where the children would be the most traumatised by their mother.

    She texted that she did not want ‘.[my name ] at her home and that he was to NEVER bring me anywhere near them again.!

    THIS is the woman who lured and then continued to steal from our family in all aspects of life.

    I grieve for those children for their mother is a true ‘witch’ …sorry but she actually practices various forms of occult .

    I pray for them

    As far as my husband’s accusation that I want ‘nothing to do with them ‘ he is selective in his memory . I have tried to help him with giving him counsel about what HE COULD do to help them learn the various ways of developing character and good judgement and morals.

    I have offered him books and various other ideas….

    I think infidelity especially long terms DEFORMS the mind…so that even now after he has finally ‘seen ‘ her for what she is it has effected his mind…and his attitude toward me .

    It seems to be a no win situation and those children are the true victims of this choice they made to have them this way.

    I am thankful that our children , raised to honor the Lord and respect themselve are at least equipped with the way the faith enables them to continue to grow and develop their character and not live in a REACTIVE way to the assault that their father has brought upon our lives.

    May all things be restored for the glory of the Lord as we make effort to follow what HE has instructed us to do…..it is hard…it is sorrowful but frankly I see no other way at this time to deal with it.

  7. daphne3631 says:

    I am mid way in a post for these sermons who unthinkingly call the wife as selfsh. Here comes the irony…. whenever I have heard a woman say that she wished the OW had got abortion people reply to her ‘her body her choice’ then what about ‘her body, her choice AND HER RESPONSIBILITY?’
    These people unthinkingly reply, oblivious to the wife’s and her children ‘s pain .If these people really care for children, then how can they forget the wife’s children in the scenario? they think that it is too easy to explain your young kids that they have an other sibling?
    Some commentors over the net call the wife as immature for not wanting the OC in her life. They call her selfish. DON’T PAY EVEN SLIGHTEST ATTENTION TO THEM. When a woman bears the child of a married man, it is she who is responsible for the OC’S pain and not the spouse
    But sadly, OC think of their mothers as superwomen who gave them birth despite everything, not seeing what a skank she is and not seeing it is SHE who brought them pain. they consider the wife as the villain.
    I do not beleive the OW should be let off the hook, just because she didn’t have any vows. Just imagine, I read in some other post that the OW called WIFE SELFISH, for not accepting her child! Really? After destroying the wife’s family and children’s life SELFISHLY, she had guts to say that!
    All in attempt to sabotage wife’s happiness.
    It only shows how shallow and empty they are deep inside.

  8. daphne3631 says:

    Most of the time, the OC is a weapon for the OW to lure the man, when that doesn’t work it is a way hny which she destroys whatever peace of mind the wife s left with. The money is never spent on the child. Infact OW herself is responsible for making her child’s life a mess. They tell the OC about their father and other people to gain sympathy and soil the nale of the family. They purposely go to places where the wfe would be present with her children to hurt the wife or to show people what a bad person she is. not realizing, they are hurting their OWN child over and over again.
    I heard a comment from a OW ‘ I want the man to be in the child’s life, its so hurtful;’ REALLY? You should have thought that before you opened upto a married man.
    And I am most of all angry with stupid commentors all over the net, who unthinkingly say whatever they want not realizing what it means to the other.
    One commentor on some blog said” the wife shouldn’t have allowed the OW to abort the child” WOW what does he mean? that a woman should go to another woman to encourage her to keep her husband’s child?
    They pray that the man loose all the money in the court as a punishment for what he had done? If these people really care about children, how can they forget that the man has his own family and children to support? and how is it fair to reward a wrecker with a jackpot?NO THEY DON’T THINK ALL THESE THINGS WHILE REPLYING.
    People say that the other child should not be punished for the parents action. AGREED. so how come these people are so intent on punishing the man in such a way that it is going to be a punishment for other innocents? Even the courts charge the man a high support as a punishment. What about his family? who are as innocent as the OC? The wife’s children and their needs are nowhere mentioned in the law. They don’t even taake them into consideration while deciding an amount.

    I have no hatred for OC in the world. Infact I feel sad for them. I was happy that they got little recognition because in the past times they were treated badly BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT PEOPLE TURN THEIR BACKS ON THE PAIN of the wife and her children.

    RMM AND OTHER WOMEN. DON’T FEEL GUILTY. you haven’t done anything wrong. Let the people say what they want to. Thats what all OW do. they do what they want inspite of anyone’s opinion. Jut try passing an judgmental comment on a OW blog and you’ll get it. Everyone jumps on you for trying to do sunday preaching or passing judgement. Ironically, these are the same people who pass judgmental comments on the wife who is innocent.

  9. You are kidding yourself. No, you’re not responsible for the chivld coming into this world. But your husband is. Period. End of story. And it’s obvious you’re relishing the fact that he chose your kids over this poor little girl. Congratulations! You won. And the man you won is a miserable coward. You are responsible for depriving this innocent child of her father because you are selfish and insecure and won’t let go of his balls. Grow up! The fact that the OW is unstable does not justify your husband’s shirking histories parental duty. Rather, his involvement is all the more important. Your blog is a disgusting manifestation of ego and rage. I hope I never run across it again. Take it down. Get over yourself. Get a life. And encourage your husband to man up and be a father to this poor child You repulse me!

    • That comment is laughable. How exactly am I responsible for my husband’s role in her life? I’ve told him that if he ever wants a role and wants to have her in our life, he can. Having access to our life is exactly what the lunatic wants so for now, he will over support her financially to provide for her the very best of everything she needs, if only her mother gave it to her. It’s not a contest “Kate”, it never was. I don’t see my husband choosing our children as a “win”…I already had that before she came along. The thing is, I didn’t LOSE it. A non-loss doesn’t always mean a win 😉

      As for my husband being a coward. A coward would have lied and covered it up. A coward would have blamed me for his own actions and not owned up. As for him being miserable. I’m sitting right next to him driving back from a lovely vacation with the kids, and nope…he doesn’t seem the list bit miserable. “Are you miserable honey?” “No, why do you ask?” There you have it. Quite happy thanks.

      Thanks for your uninsightful input. Feel free to not return and allow this blog to remain a source of inspiration and strength, not a sounding box for whore-supporters. Good riddance right back sweetheart.

    • You can’t call people “whore supporters” for thinking that your husband has more than a financial responsibility to his daughter. He does. He’s not doing the right thing- and truthfully you are pleased about that when in reality it just compounds his bad behavior.
      Whenever anyone disagrees with your view you accuse them of supporting the OW. It seems you can’t tolerate anyone not sharing your viewpoint and become abusive and start name calling.
      This is very telling and is a sign of narcissistic personality disorder. Having read your whole blog up to this point I believe you suffer from that.

  10. Kate ….serving up the present day rhetoric without any depth of understanding nor empathy for the way this has to be dealt with by those who are in the midst of it.

    According to scripture there are NO ‘rights’ when it comes to non covenant sexual relationships except the ‘fruit’ which is condemned by moral law.

    The present day determination of ‘rights’ are from the secular humanist point of view.

    The ascertion of those who promote immorality and wish to normalize it forget that the Lord has informed us that we have been bought with a price and we are not our own!

    1Cr 6:20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

    All souls belong to GOD ….thus anyone who opposes the will of God as revealed in the scripture does not change the fact that sin produces death …ultimately and consequences before hand that touch not only those who deliberately exercise their free will choice to commit it but those who are subjected to the fall out of their choices fomented in rebellion to moral law and conscience grown out of selfish disregard for all parties who are subjected to their vice of thievery!

    Seeking to redistribution of the wealth of love and resources is at the bottom of most who are useful to the destruction of society.

    There is no affirmed ‘right’ to sin …no matter HOW many infidels agree together to live against all that is good and righteous for the purposes they themselves may not always be intending as they fill up on their unrelenting desires.

    No woman married a man to neglect his life ..yet men marry without concern for learning the depth of their necessity to keep godly priorities by way of self control and self governing of their own carnal desires and thoughts .

    Lacking concern for the Lordship of He who is indeed worthy to be Lord they cast about seeking some ‘fulfillment’ in that which is never equipped to fulfill and only is a work of evil that destroys the soul …body and mind of those who cluelessly indulge their fleshly urges at the encouragement of an ungodly society undone by their repenting what has proved in histories past and societies which demonstrate the ultimate end of such who lack understanding of why protection of privilege of marriage is worthy to be kept with vigilance.

    Psa 1:1 Blessed [is] the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

    2Pe 2:6 And turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes condemned [them] with an overthrow, making [them] an ensample unto those that after should live ungodly;

    Jud 1:10 But these speak evil of those things which they know not: but what they know naturally, as brute beasts, in those things they corrupt themselves.

    Mat 19:17 And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? [there is] none good but one, [that is], God: but IF thou wilt ENTER INTO LIFE life, keep the commandments.

    Having done all that you might to extend support for those children it is harsh of those who would criticize without full knowledge of all this means to have to deal with it as well as we might.

    I don’t believe ANYONE marries with any kind of training or understanding of dealing with infidelity …and certainly none will know what to do with a child born out of such a sinful choice by those who do indulge themSELVES in such behavior by CHOICE.

    This choice IS going to require accountability on the part of those who orchestrate such things.

    The need for repentance is called for in the case of any and all sin but this is something that is FROM THE HEART.

    Those who stand to judge by their own judgment are no bringing the judgment of GOD but from their own fleshly perspective and usually those who have not been victimized by such woundings and crimes against the sacred covenant. They are in need of prayerful petitions so that they might have their eyes opened and heart broken over their need for a Savior.

    Just my perspective …accusers are plentiful for those who suffer from the deliberate wanton activities popularized in this day and time.

  11. First off, I do not want to be defensive. I just want to give my side of the story. I have never been through what you ladies have been through and you are all probably doing the best you can under these difficult circumstances. Please take a minute to hear a different side, I might not be the norm but it does happen sometimes. Here is my story:

    I grew up as the “good girl” even before I had a relationship with the Lord, I was never one to go out, be in relationships and such. I had my first boyfriend at 23 and he left me because I was keeping myself pure for marriage and he was not willing to wait. I then met a wonderful man, 7 years older than me but he was willing to wait. We entered a relationship, there were talks of marriage, he met my family and I met his. Once, my judgement slipped and I guess I was caught in the moment(I am taking full responsibility for my actions though) we fell into sin and had sex, we did it more than once and as a result, I fell pregnant. I remember before we found out, on this date last year, he told me he hoped I was pregnant and he would marry me before the baby was born. About 2 weeks later, I found out the man of my “dreams” was in fact, married. I confronted him and he begged me to stay telling me and his wife had been separated for a while and they were getting divorced, something his family confirmed to me. I was confused, I am not expecting anyone to have any compassion for me because I knew it was wrong but I stayed. I was pregnant, young, alone, I just did not know what to do. After 3 months he came to me and told me he was having another go at his marriage. He had already told his wife he was seeing someone and I was pregnant. She took him back knowing all this. It was painful but I backed off, knowing that now he was someone’s husband. During my pregnancy his wife sent me threatening messages calling all sorts of name. I replied with an apology, it was not fake as I really did feel bad for the part that I played, I just did not want to cause trouble by reaching out to her first. My ex(I dont know if its appropriate to call him that) made it clear to both me and his wife that he wants to be part of the child’s life(she is his first born, they dont have any kids together but his wife came into the marriage with a child). She wanted me to get an abortion but he said no. She wanted NC, he said no. I now have a little girl whom I love very much, I do not want in any way to interfere in her relationship with her father as it is theirs, what I know is I do not want to be in a relationship with him. Me and him had an agreement that we will both pay 50/50 towards the upbringing of the child., this despite the fact that he earns 5 times more than I earn. Now his wife wants CS to be reduced and wants the matter to go to court & &… She has harassed me in the past and continues to do that. I have nothing against her as she is not the one who lied to me. I just want to raise my daughter to be a Proverbs 31 woman and a positive person who contributes to society. Even though she was not born under ideal circumstances but due to the reckless choices of her mom & dad, I do want the best for her. I do not want her to be addressed as OC because I did not know about her father’s marriage when we conceived her. I deserve all the punishment that comes with this but she does not. I see that you ladies are not like my daughter’s step-mother but I just thought I would share my story. Thank you for reading.

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