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Being the bigger person, and thinking like a man


OK I will be the first to admit it…my fight isn’t with my husband.  My fight is with his whore.  What a lying, conniving, self-centered, entitled piece of shit slutbag.

I feel better.  Thanks.

Over the last few days, 3-4 ladies have popped up on my comments in various posts sharing their stories.  Some have just found out this week, others a few months back, but we all share the same story.  Some dirty ass whore skunk walked into their marriage and tried to get involved with their husbands.  In some cases, the slutbag got herself pregnant (and I use that phraseology on purpose because although it takes two to make a baby, I am quite convinced that many of these woman plan the pregnancy in order to capture the man or at the very least his money in the form of child support).   Now, this post is not about faulty marriages, how these marriages had problems before she came along, etc.   Those posts have their place, and I will be the first to admit that my marriage was not, and is not perfect.  But this post is simply to shed light on, and illuminate the ever-growing trend I am seeing of women PURPOSEFULLY becoming involved with a married man and getting pregnant ON PURPOSE.

What the fuck is wrong with these people?  I don’t even want to call them women, because I think it does all classy women a disservice by sharing title with these trailer trash whores.  These women are sub-human garbage.

I read a note today from a woman who just received a book in the mail from her husband’s mistress.  SEVEN YEARS after the fact, this whore is STILL bent out of shape, and took it upon herself to mail a book to the couple on how to be a good father.  The inscribed note said something to the tune of “the first step in being a good dad is to love your child’s mother”.  Ummm hello??  First of all, sex created that child, not love.  There was no love there.  There was vulnerability + opportunity.  And while you could take the letters in those two words, scramble them, and find the word love in there somewhere, you can also find “loopy”, and “tart”, so there you have it.  This CRAZY psycho, this many years later, has the balls to further infringe on this marriage?  Of course not.  She just wanted the husband to be reminded of her (like the monthly support cheque isn’t enough?), and for the wife to feel her nose being rubbed in the dirt one more time.  These little bitch motives, designed by the mentally deranged are intended solely to cause harm and hurt because the mistress is angry and feels defeated.  Good.   She has been.

I just can’t wrap my brain around it I guess.  I would just as soon walk away from a man I discover is married than to make a complete ass of myself, throwing myself at him, making up stories about myself to make myself appear more appealing than I know myself to be, and resorting to bitch tactics like putting down his wife in order to secure a higher pecking order.  Personally I love knowing that I am enough just as I am.  I don’t have to pretend. I don’t have to keep track of my lies.  I just have to be myself and I am lovable.  How liberating. Personally, I’ve never liked being second best, so I can’t imagine putting myself in a position of being second to anyone.  The weird thing is that these skank whores actually think they are the princess and the prize, and that the wives are the sorry, pitiful, unhappy and miserable creatures that their husband’s are just tolerating.  What are they smoking?   They are so convinced that our lives are unhappy, but as I’ve said before, this framework is probably necessary in order for the female brain to understand why a married man is sleeping with them.  I will recap for those who haven’t read that entry:

Men have an uncanny ability to separate sex and emotion.  One does not require the other and they don’t hinge on each other.  He can be emotional and have it not lead to sex, and he can have sex with no emotion whatsoever.  Sex is merely mechanics and feeling good.  It isn’t about being emotionally connected, soft and fuzzy and warm, accepted, loved or cherished.  It’s about getting your sexual needs met with someone of the opposite sex who has the right plumbing.  She doesn’t have to be pretty even, but if she is – bonus.  Studies show, however, that most men don’t have affairs with women prettier than their wives.  Why, I am not sure, because if you are trading, why not trade up?  Who knows…

So here we have men with their sex island not connected to anything emotional, and then we have a woman whose sex island floats in a sea of emotion.  In fact, she likely can’t have sex unless she feels emotionally connected to the person.  Feeling emotional connection heightens her degree of sexual willingness.  So when a married man is willing to engage in sex with another woman, the other woman automatically assesses the situation with her woman brain: “He wants to have sex with me. He must feel emotionally connected to me.  He must love me”, and upon learning that he is married and trying to understand why he is interested in her if married, she reasons that he must be unhappy at home.  He must not love his wife.  If his attention is turned away from the wife to the mistress, it must mean that his love has also shifted, right?  Wrong.  He still loves his wife.  She is his world.  She is the reason he wakes up in the morning feeling secure and comfortable…but he just wanted a piece of trailer ass because it was available and he was vulnerable.

vulnerability+opportunity = affair

So, why is my fight with the mistress?  My fight was originally with them both.  I immediately came to the aid of my husband in the aftermath of the discovery because she went ape-shit-berzerk.  He needed a rational mind, and she’d had his twisted for months.  Mine at the time wasn’t much better, reeling from the news and subject to the hurricane of emotions in my mind, but I guess I was able to put some of it aside in order to remember that underneath the anger and intense disappointment, someone who mere hours ago I loved more than life itself was hurting, and it was my oath to protect that.  For months she waged a war against me, accusing me of horrible things I had not done, calling the police, emailing my friends and family to reveal the affair and embarrass me.  It wasn’t enough to have an affair with my husband.  It wasn’t enough to get pregnant by him.  She needed to see me weeping and broken on the floor.  I wasn’t going to give her that. Months of torture, me turning a blind eye and forcing my mouth shut, sitting on my hands. She, getting away with it, and even getting a court supported pay check for her whoring.  Wow.  To this day, she has never expressed ANY remorse.  She is too busy defending herself and seeking out more support and money for herself.  Pigs will fly before she ever utters anything close to a remorseful statement and the funny thing is that I would be completely open to hearing it.  It would be healing for me, and i wouldn’t even make it hard for her.  But, I know I won’t get it, and I know she still laughs at me in her mind.  For that reason, she is enemy number one.  My husband continues to try and make amends and do the right thing.  Years of counselling, support, tears, breakdowns, yelling, crying, threatening to leave…and he stands by willing to take ALL of it. He is stronger than I would be if it were reversed, and for me, looking at the two of them, he no longer gets my anger.  She does. She hasn’t stepped up.  She hasn’t made amends.  She won’t even try.  She’s too much of a low life to respect herself enough to do the right thing and admit to having made a grave mistake. Oh no….her ego is too fragile.  It won’t happen.  Instead she will fuel her own fire by creating in her own mind stories about me which are false, and which allow her to feel justified in her continued actions.

For me, I think the hardest thing is watching a woman who has exacted so much pain and suffering on another cash a cheque that we write to her every month.  It is like paying your abuser, rewarding your rapist….its ass backwards!  I watch our account drop on the first of each month, knowing that she is reaping the rewards of OUR hard earned money. For what?  A kid she never wanted?  getting her hair done?  Nails? Lord knows she doesn’t use it for her kid cause she buys second-hand shit for that kid despite getting over 8 times more than the average child support recipient.  Heck, in the two years that she was unemployed following D-day she managed to pay rent, groceries. clothes, gas, insurance, car lease, entertainment, and school tuition for a 2-year undergrad program at a local university….WITH NO JOB TO PAY FOR ANY OF IT AND NO SAVINGS.  Who paid for all that shit?  We did.  Thanks to us, she has a university degree, and was able to go to school because WE were court ordered to pay daycare while mommy got her education.  We paid for her books, for her transit pass, for her gym membership.

Whoring should be a class…it has a high reward in the end if you can snag the right guy.

I am still waiting for my apology.

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I’m mentally unstable, don’t you know…


The mistress is a liar

 

When it rains it pours. Nothing with this whore happens at a steady state. Instead, she prefers to operate in fits and spurts (I think we should accentuate the word FITS because she’s been having a lot of them). She will torment us for a while, her behaviour escalating to a fever pitch, and then gradually die off, not to be heard from for months. I have to admit, her silence was a nice holiday from this trauma, but like all voracious diseases…she’s back!

I posted about how she wants a reference for work. The lawyer who settled the family court issue had been receiving emails from her stating that she wished to receive an employment reference after all that she has done.

To read her antics, or some of them at least:

https://rescuingmymarriage.wordpress.com/2012/01/11/when-the-smoke-blows-in-your-face-it-rarely-tastes-good/

https://rescuingmymarriage.wordpress.com/2012/01/12/when-things-dont-go-as-planned-scream-rape/

https://rescuingmymarriage.wordpress.com/2011/09/09/loopy-with-a-side-of-crazy-i-want-my-life-back/

https://rescuingmymarriage.wordpress.com/2011/05/25/all-aboard-the-crazy-train/

https://rescuingmymarriage.wordpress.com/2011/03/30/stalking-slander-and-surreptitiousness/

The employment lawyer told her to take a hike, that this isn’t her domain, and to contact the lawyer who dealt with the false employment law case she’d launched when she claimed she was wrongfully dismissed by my husband in the wake of her threatening to ruin his reputation, and his family. She contacted the lawyer with the most pathetic email I think I have read to date. Such desperation, such lies, such obvious torment that she is going through. I *almost* felt bad for her.

Apparently, she is feeling worried that she won’t get this job that she has applied for. Suffice it so say that she admits lying on the application and telling them that the reason she left my husband’s employ was due to a tough pregnancy, and the reason she didn’t return after her pregnancy was because SHE made the choice to focus on her studies – but that is a whole other issue. Hey whore, tell them you were fired, tell them why, and no…he doesn’t want to hire your sorry as back as you claim, because no, he doesn’t think you are awesome as you apparently like to tout that you are, and no, he will NOT lie to support your false application.

I digress…

She received a reference letter in the weeks following her dismissal with a fair chunk of money to offset the 2 weeks notice she did not get. She has the letter in her possession, and I would be surprised if she has ‘lost’ it. I suspect that her worry is more that the employer will want to follow up by phone with her last known employer, and he will be asked to validate the reference letter. She can’t control what he says, and is worried that she will be exposed. So, she says to the lawyer in her email:

I believe my email is self explanatory. I understand (my husband) has received it and it is up to him to choose if he will provide an excellent job reference for me (which his words in thousands of emails, text messages & videos support) or he can defame and slander my professional reputation.

What, you mean like you have tried to do to him many many times already? He has no interest in slandering you sweetheart, he wants you to get a job and stop living off of us.

May I remind you that details of our affair, (husband’s) self admitted alcoholism, the [human rights complaint] against (husband) , his years of violent, misogynistic & sexually deviant behaviours towards myself and his daughter, his detailed discussions of Mrs X’s mental illness, sexual inadequacies, cosmetic surgeries, etc, …was not confidential information prior to January 2012. In fact his years of divulging information via his multiple social media accounts online very much support the above mentioned issues.

Did you know that I am mentally unstable? Apparently, according to her email, I am. I have a mental illness, and I am sexually inadequate. I should get a T-shirt made with that emblazoned on the front. She claims my husband, who hasn’t spoken a word to her since March 20th, 2012, and who has NEVER seen the child he fathered has been violent and sexually deviant towards her and the mistress? Really? In what universe? Her threat at the end that the above mentioned information was “known” (even though it is false) prior to January 2012 is simply her way of saying that she has the right to discuss it publicly, and she will, if she doesn’t get what she wants. Her court ordered custody agreement states that she cannot speak of the relationship to any third party, or speak negatively of my husband or his family, but her assumption is that because I’ve apparently been unstable, and my husband has been a sexually deviant alcoholic since BEFORE her mouth was shackled by an agreement, that is fair game to talk about, and she will, if pushed.

This is how she operates, with threats and manipulation. And I am the one who is mentally ill because I am trying to save our marriage? I love how I get dragged into her ridiculous rants. It is so glaringly obvious that she is jealous of our life, of the fact that my husband didn’t leave me, and that we have a lovely life together that she just wants a piece of. How pathetic can a human being be reduced to? She is obviously under a lot of stress lately and this is just her acting out…like a child does, when they don’t have the adult means to cope with their feelings in constructive ways. Someone needs a “time out”.

 

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Shutting the curtains on my life…and a blog recommendation


I’ve mentioned many times on this blog that my husband’s whore stalks me. Not only did she discover where we live after we moved, she also stalks me online, monitoring what I write on the social media site “twitter”. Twitter, for those who don’t know, is a place where individuals post their thoughts, funny quips, advertisements, quote of the day…you name it, but you have to do it in 140 characters or less. For someone like me, who is admittedly verbose, the restriction is welcomed practice at being succinct.

I started my twitter account many years ago, possibly a year after its inception. I started it as a way of growing my business connections. I wanted to connect with others in my field, and then become introduced to vendors or products that would help my business, as well as other professionals in my industry. For me, twitter is more of a passtime, and by that I mean, I PASS TIME. If I am in line, I will check twitter, and post something random about the day, something funny that happened, a special or promotion to attract new clientele, a joke, or some other random thought. Much of the time, twitter ends up being more social for me, than business, but is a welcome diversion sometimes. I laugh at what others post, find recipes and images that are funny and add levity to my day. In short, I enjoy my time on twitter….until today.

This morning, after some conversation with friends about the happenings with the psycho whore, I decided that posting on twitter isn’t worth the hassle she brings to my life, and I cancelled the account.  Well, I didn’t cancel it so much as I have locked it to further followers and have made reference in the biographical description that I will no longer be posting to it due to a psycho delusional stalker. As part of the finality that I just posted about the other day, I am trying to savour what life can feel like without this woman in my everyday life.  With a restraining order set against her, I no longer have to wonder if she is sitting outside my house, or questioning whether the blonde woman who just walked by was her.  I no longer have to worry when I open my email that my husband will have forwarded me an email relating to the case at hand, showcasing more intolerable behaviour on the part of this crazed lunatic. In essence, I am looking forward to not having to look over my shoulder all the time.  I imagine it must feel pretty….quiet.  I look forward to it.

What irks me, in the end, is that I have had to curb the activities that I enjoy in order to live my life in peace.  How someone can march into your life, try to steal your husband, sleep with your spouse, become pregnant by him, demand money, harass, stalk, create false police and legal claims which cost us money to refute….and *I* should suffer?  What the hell did I do?  I didn’t sleep with the whore….from what I hear, it wasn’t really worth it, anyway.

It just angers me that these crazy borderline personality whores feel entitled to enmesh themselves into your life, like a virus that constantly mutates in order to continue its attack on the host.  It also angers me that the legal system doesn’t seem to have any provisions in the Family Law code to protect innocent wives and their matrimonial share of the couple’s financial assets from being appropriated by the whore and her spawn (I have to thank sperm donor’s wife for turning me on to that term….I will use it and think of you).

If you enjoy my blog, and want to read another reader’s blog, I would like to direct you to her page.  She writes very well, and is very informed about the goings on in mistress world, cheating, and lust-spawn.   She has coined the mistress perfectly….and her writing is very entertaining.  She too has suffered at the hands of someone who felt entitled to what is hers, and she is fighting to protect her civil rights and freedoms.  I applaud her, and hope to learn from her.  Her website can be found here:  http://spermdonorswife.wordpress.com

Loopy with a side of crazy – I want my life back


For those who have been following the saga, we know that my husband’s mistress is, by all accounts loopy with a side dish of crazy. For those just joining the story who wish to get a more firm grasp on this personality, I will recap:

  • The morning after I learned of the affair, she realized that I hadn’t kicked him out (as she’d hoped), and went nuts.  Knowing that he didn’t want another child, she decided to have the child simply out of spite, claiming to have ‘fallen in love’ with the idea of being a mommy (read: loving the idea of someone loving her unconditionally for once in her life).  She started emailing me and telling me that my husband has to think of her in order to “get off”, and how the two of them used to make fun of my exercise routine, calling me fat, and my exercise group the ‘fat farm’ (I should mention that I am well within my normal weight ranges for my height after having three children, train with a personal trainer and a running trainer twice a week).
  • She said she would terminate the pregnancy if my husband left me.
  • We sought legal protection in order to stop her from contacting us by email, phone or otherwise, and we have made absolutely NO contact with her as we try and rebuild
  • She called my husband’s colleagues and told them of the affair via text message
  • She called the wife of a colleague/friend to tell them she had given birth to his child
  • She emailed my parents and my brother to tell them about the affair under the auspices of trying to gather support for me
  • She threatened to call all of my husband’s colleagues to tell them of the affair under the auspices of trying to gather support for herself (she doesn’t know his colleagues)
  • She stalked us to learn our new home address after we had moved for a fresh start and we found her parked outside our home.
  • She called to laugh at me over the phone and tell me that I am nothing, and that my husband doesn’t love me
  • She sent me emails detailing how they would get together and make love for 12 hours straight and that he was the best sex she’d ever had
  • She setup an account on twitter to document the final days of her pregnancy, naming my husband as the father and outing the affair
  • She stalked my twitter account in order to determine who I am connected with and then sent some of my connections (colleagues) details about the affair and that my husband had fathered her child
  • She posted a comment on my business blog under the auspices of trying to get support for me from my clientele
  • She emailed my husband and I ultrasound images of the baby so that we could “celebrate” with her
  • She emailed my husband a month before the baby was born to tell him that she was in early labour and ‘scared’ and that he is listed on the chart as ‘dangerous’ and that she is registered under protective status (makes a lot of sense to tell someone you claim is harassing you and who you are scared of what your exact location is)
  • She commenced a legal action against him claiming wrongful dismissal which has cost us thousands of dollars
  • She commenced a Human Rights Code Complaint stating that she was sexually harassed and forced into sex, but in her demands asks for her job back and $100K in damages (if you were truly scared of a man and considered him a sex attacker, would you ask to be reinstated in that job?)
  • Last month she sent an email to her lawyer (working for her for free, by the way, while we have spent upwards of $50K in legal expenses), that we continue to stalk her online (never contacted her and have done NO such thing – her name is never mentioned in this blog or her identity revealed for the reasons that we don’t wish to engage her).
So perhaps that gives you a little taste of what we are dealing with.
So, as you saw in my previous post, she is now going to be receiving TRIPLE the amount of child support, and it sickens me to know that she is doing her happy dance at home, earning more in child support payments than she did in her job.
But, to make matters worse, today she sent an email to her lawyer claiming that she would like the harassment from my husband and I to stop.  She claims my husband’s colleagues have been emailing her pornographic information and sending inappropriate emails and phone calls to her home.  She pleads for the behaviour to stop, and claims that she just wants to move forward ‘amicably’.  Let it be known that NONE of my husband’s colleagues are aware of the affair and NONE of them know her personal information, let alone her phone number. It is a complete fabrication.What pisses me off more than anything is the fact that she can make these assenine claims, taking up the time of our respective lawyers’ time, and then we have to pay our lawyer to reply to something that is completely false.  She is draining us of every penny we own, and embarks on things like this as if they were sport.  Her lawyer costs her NOTHING as it is a friend to her father.  Nice.  She is playing games to get us unnerved knowing that it will start a series of communications, and perhaps keep her ‘fresh’ in my husband’s mind, and mine.

I told my husband that she should be forced to PRESENT these emails that she claims to have received, and voice recordings of all voicemails.  When she can’t produce them, she should be told that she is either:
  1. Lying and fabricating bullshit for fun
  2. Truly believing that these events are happening, in which case she is mentally unfit to parent this child and we are seeking support
Something tells me that given those two options, she would admit to having lied before threatening to have her custody revoked due to her being unfit.  In doing so, she would essentially be admitting to having lied, fracturing her own credibility with her counsel.
I am literally at the end of my rope.  I can’t believe this crazy person has been admitted into our lives.  I just want my life back.
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