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A-ha moments


You know how you can be going about your usual day, and suddenly an experience will lead you to remember and earlier one? Well sometimes, the experiences of my day lead me to remember events that happened in the timeline when the affair was going on, when I didn’t yet know it was going on. I then replay those moments with a fresh set of eyes, or with a clearer pair of lenses, if you will. I replay the events with a more complete understanding, and realize how much of the picture I was missing at the time, and didn’t even realize I had blinders on.

Yesterday, as I was preparing to call a courier for my business, I was reminded of a time that my husband had asked me to call a courier to take a parcel from our home to the workplace where he had met the mistress, when they both worked for a third party (before she came to work for him personally). He had some time-sensitive documents that needed to make their way to this office, on a day when he wasn’t scheduled to work. I told him I would call a courier for him. But, as the day went on, I realized that I was going to be driving in that general area, and while it was a little out of the way, I was happy to deliver it in person, both to save the courier fee, and because I wanted to do a nice thing for him, and drop it off in person. With my new set of lenses, I replayed moments of that day, and remember calling him to tell him that I was on my way to deliver it personally. I remember him becoming really awkward, and telling me that a courier would have been better. He even asked me to turn around, and go home, telling me that the parcel wasn’t THAT important, and he would take it himself the next day. I was confused. Why did he seem so upset at my kind offer to hand deliver his parcel to his workplace? Didn’t he appreciate the personal touch? Didn’t he recognize that I was going out of my way for him? I remember him being a little snappy, and thought that he must be having a hard time at work. When his attempts to derail me from the plan of walking into his office were obviously futile, he gave me additional directions on how I could get in and out of there quickly. He obviously didn’t want me to be seen. Perhaps SHE was working that day, and he didn’t want me to come unknowingly face to face with the woman he was developing feelings for. At this point, they would have already slept together, but it was in the very early phase. He directed me to NOT go to the main desk, but to go to a side-office and deliver it to whomever was in that room. He didn’t give me a name, and even said that it didn’t matter who received it, that I should just drop and go. I did. I didn’t say hello to anyone. I didn’t stop by the main desk, and truthfully I had no reason to. Typically, when I find myself in my husband’s work place, I make an extra effort to be well-mannered and polite, friendly and pleasant. I reason that in that moment, I am representing him, and I want his colleagues to have the very best impression of him, through me, something that he could be proud of. I wasn’t dressed particularly ‘well’ that day, as I was heading up to an amusement park to meet friends, but I would have been ‘presentable’.

It’s funny, looking back, having now a full understanding of why he was so on edge. He was hiding me. Or was he hiding her? It’s hard to know who he was trying to protect from whom. I just know that he was obviously very nervous and anxious about the whole thing.

I spoke with him this morning about this experience, and jogged his memory of the event. He didn’t recall his reactions, but he can reason that he would have felt that way, given what was happening at the time. His response: “I am so sorry….” Not much more he can say, right? It was stupid and irresponsible.

I would like to think that he was protecting me from her, preventing the mistress from getting a glimpse of what I look like, feeding her curiosity about her competition, and possibly subjecting me to what he may have already felt was a deceptive person. Maybe not, but I would like to think it was me he was protecting, and for my own sanity, I will choose to look at it that way ūüôā

The interesting thing that came of our conversation today about this was that it also triggered a memory for him. When I told him that perhaps the reason he didn’t want me to go to his office was because he didn’t want the mistress to know what his wife looks like, he told me that she already knew, but then he struggled to piece together how she would have known. Something inside of him reminded him that she did know….but how? There was no image of me on the desk, there wasn’t a family picture, there was only a picture of our three children, which I’d taken within the year. How did she know what I look like? He remembered a brief comment she’d made, seemingly off the cuff, about how ‘all these boring vanilla wives these days seem to drive Land Rovers and all have that same haircut; blonde hair, short in the back, longer in the front’. She was making fun of me, calling me plain, casting me into a pool of other un-original moms who all have the same car and haircut, and doing so in a way that wouldn’t seem obvious to my husband. He remembers thinking at the time, “oh my goodness, she just described MY wife!”, which of course would have then led to the obvious temporal connection “She said those women are unoriginal, vanilla, and boring and she just described my wife, so my wife is unoriginal, vanilla and boring”. It was a manipulative way to lead my husband to a negative conclusion about me, without her having had to make any negative statements about me. Typical woman…always working three levels under consciousness. The question was, how did she know what car I drove, or what I looked like? He thought it was merely coincidence that she had described me, but it was a well-thought-out ploy to cause us to crumble from the inside, having planted a bomb. She’d either driven past our home, followed me as I picked up my children from school (she knows where they attend school), or waited for me outside of my workplace. Regardless, I had been stalked and followed. She knew what I looked like because she’d made the effort to locate me and size me up. Creepy much? I knew she stalked me online…that she had found out where we lived after we moved, and had driven by. I just didn’t realize I had been stalked long before I thought I had been…in the early stage of the relationship, I was being sized up.

Anyway, I mention this only because I find it interesting how even now, flashbacks will draw me back to an event during the affair, and I re-view the event with new understanding, and a clearer perception of what was happening in my own life that I was only half-present for because my husband had shut me out. I am thankful for these moments, as they show me the stark contrast between where we were, and where we are, and I don’t feel so ‘in-the-dark’ anymore.

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When the smoke blows in your face, it rarely tastes good


I just learned today that the crazy, manipulative, drama mama made another police complaint against me. ¬†Man, this woman has a lot of time on her hands. ¬†Should I be surprised given that she is making almost $4K per month in child support and childcare costs from us? ¬†She is making more from having had this baby, than she was ever making in her career. ¬†She has no need to work anymore….she can just stay home and collect the moolah.

In her copious free time, it appears the babymama has contacted the police not once, but twice, to report me. ¬†The first report was made in August 2011, at which time I was telephoned by a constable at the district station for the area in which I live. ¬†Because I wasn’t home, they left a message with our sitter, but the details were sketchy, and frankly I thought it was a crank caller. ¬†Come October, I received the call, detailed in the post I’ve linked to above, and spoke with a constable who provided me with a “warning” and asked that I cease all contact with the mistress. ¬†I asked him what evidence she had provided to substantiate her claim, and I was told that there was none, and that the call was merely to let me know they were closing the file. ¬†Of course there was no evidence….I’ve not harassed nor stalked this pitiful example of humanity since I’ve ‘known’ of her. ¬†Her lunatic mind has concocted a bunch of stories, none of which are grounded in truth or reality, so I’ve learned to be less concerned. ¬†I was. admittedly, quite shaken by the call, as it isn’t every day that you get a call from the police. ¬†But, I would have been much better equipped to handle it, had the constable not spoken to me in a tone as if to assert that I was considered guilty, when I, in fact, was not. ¬†I ended the phone call, and immediately wrote it off as ‘just another pathetic move by the sad and lonely woman whose life belongs in a trailer park”. On with life already.

Come November, I was part of an online event for individuals in my industry, and needed to tweet the details of the event to my following on twitter, so that they could get involved and spread the word. ¬†In order to do this, I would have to unprotect my twitter account, to allow new followers to make contact in the wake of the event. ¬†For the month of November and December, my twitter account was reopened, after almost 6 months of lockdown. ¬†I was originally apprehensive about doing this, as the mistress seems to enjoy her sideline view of my life, and I am not keen on giving her a front row seat to my life. ¬†But, I was hopeful that perhaps a 6 month “palm-in-the-face” each time she has tried to access my twitter site would dissuade her from checking in. ¬†I was wrong. ¬†She is obsessed. ¬†After 6 months, she hadn’t relented, and was obviously making repeated check-ins to see if I had unlocked the account, or perhaps she just googles me daily….either way, she is infatuated with me to a sick degree. ¬†When she found the account was open, she decided she would read each and every tweet. ¬†Sick….I know.

Soon the emails started coming from her lawyer, claiming that I was tweeting about her. ¬†Interestingly, she started taking what I wrote on twitter, and making the assumptions that I was talking about her. ¬†This poor woman has given herself far more credit than she actually deserves, and seems to believe that I am far more impacted by her than I actually am. ¬†When I wrote that a song reminded me of a ‘certain someone’, she claimed I was talking about her, and ran to her bargain basement lawyer. ¬†We got an email, warning us that my ‘behaviour would not be tolerated”. ¬†When I posted to a friend that I would be sending her an email exchange between me and a client of mine which I thought she would find interesting, the little maggot thought I was talking about her, and sharing her emails with the legal details of her case with my friends online. ¬†Loser. ¬†It seems anything that I write is assumed to be about her. ¬†Guess what sweetheart, my world does not revolve around you, and I do have legitimate conversations and daily dealings that have nothing to do with you. ¬†You don’t permeate my every day, and are far less thought about or considered than you seem to think that you are. ¬†Get a life.

In December, when I was told that she would be launching a new complaint with the Police, I decided I’d had enough. ¬†The calls from the police with false allegations were, in and of themselves, harassing. ¬†I don’t want to have to deal with her crap when I pick up my phone, and have to defend myself against this garbage. ¬†I decided I would contact the police and let them know that this was going on. ¬†I figured future complaints from her needed to be taken in context with the nutbar that she is, and that perhaps they would take them with a BOULDER of salt the next time she made another claim. ¬†I sent them all of the hurtful emails, text messages, threatening messages, and examples of her twitter-stalking, and today they asked me to come into the precinct to meet with them in person. ¬†I was thankful for the opportunity.

I sat with two detectives who had taken the time to read through the material. ¬†They were, to be blunt – shocked. ¬†They were amazed by the inhumanness of her emails to me, especially in the wake of the affair, when confronted by the woman who she’d wronged, she decided to ¬†try and hurt me further. ¬†Had she not thought she’d done enough? ¬†Apparently not. ¬†They were shocked by her communications and agreed that sounded looney. ¬†In the end, they said that they wished to call her and caution her against any further communication with me or monitoring of my online presence. ¬†I agreed to this, and felt that it may be the only way to get her to stop, so I agreed. They also suggested that I get a peace bond from the Justice of the Peace for my own protection.

Within an hour of leaving the precinct, I received a call from the officer to whom I had given my statement. ¬†Apparently, in her words, she had “called Ms. XXX, and cautioned her. ¬†It didn’t go very well”.

Me: ¬†Can you qualify what you mean by “it didn’t go very well?”
Officer: Well basically she lost it on the phone.
Me:  Lost it?
Officer: She is very angry.  She started screaming and became hysterical.  So, my partner and I will be paying her a home visit?  I would suggest that you be very careful of your person and personal surroundings over the next while.  She appears very unstable, and I just want you to make sure that you are extra vigilant these next few days.
Me: Because you think she will try and hurt me?
Officer: We don’t know, but given her reaction, it is just a precaution.
Me: You are going to her home?  Why?
Officer: I spent about 15 mins trying to arrange a time to see her.  She refused to see me, and became very angry, claiming that she is the victim here.
Me:  Of course she did. What else is new?
Officer: ¬†Well I told her that I don’t like to conduct these things over the phone, and prefer to see who I am talking with. I told her that she too should have the opportunity to ensure that I am who I say I am, and meet with me to discuss. ¬†My partner will be paying her a visit. ¬†We are headed over there now.
Me:  Prepare yourself for the waterworks, and the sob story pity-party.
Officer:  We will be in touch to let you know what transpires
Me: ¬†I’d like to thank you for all of your help, and for going the extra step to ensure this is handled appropriately. ¬†I really appreciate it.

I got off the phone with the officer, and I have to admit that a smile crept to my face. ¬†I found it comical that she reacted so ridiculously to the phone call, took it as such an affront, and yet has no problem dishing that same thing out to me. ¬†It is fine for her to call the cops on ME and to have them call MY home to issue me a warning, but when the smoke is blown back in her face, she realizes it doesn’t taste so good. ¬†Reaping what you’ve sown? ¬†You mess with fire…you get burned. ¬†I hope this will at least make her think twice about continuing her ridiculous behaviour, let it go, and just MOVE ON ALREADY. ¬†We have.

I hope she sleeps well tonight having reaped a little of what she’s sown. Now she just needs a skank whore to sleep with her husband, become pregnant by him and use her spawn as a cash-grab to get free handouts using the legal system….oh and the skank whore has to then harass her for more than 2 years, threaten her, rack up her legal bills and create false claims against her. ¬†I can guarantee that if she reacts like THAT to a phone call from the police, the other scenario would tip her off her already unbalanced rocker. ¬†The funny thing is, that I don’t think she has EVER ONCE put herself in my shoes to realize that my reactions are absolutely justified…she would not have reacted with nearly the class, decorum and integrity that I have…she doesn’t have it in her.

Shutting the curtains on my life…and a blog recommendation


I’ve mentioned many times on this blog that my husband’s whore stalks me. Not only did she discover where we live after we moved, she also stalks me online, monitoring what I write on the social media site “twitter”. Twitter, for those who don’t know, is a place where individuals post their thoughts, funny quips, advertisements, quote of the day…you name it, but you have to do it in 140 characters or less. For someone like me, who is admittedly verbose, the restriction is welcomed practice at being succinct.

I started my twitter account many years ago, possibly a year after its inception. I started it as a way of growing my business connections. I wanted to connect with others in my field, and then become introduced to vendors or products that would help my business, as well as other professionals in my industry. For me, twitter is more of a passtime, and by that I mean, I PASS TIME. If I am in line, I will check twitter, and post something random about the day, something funny that happened, a special or promotion to attract new clientele, a joke, or some other random thought. Much of the time, twitter ends up being more social for me, than business, but is a welcome diversion sometimes. I laugh at what others post, find recipes and images that are funny and add levity to my day. In short, I enjoy my time on twitter….until today.

This morning, after some conversation with friends about the happenings with the psycho whore, I decided that posting on twitter isn’t worth the hassle she brings to my life, and I cancelled the account. ¬†Well, I didn’t cancel it so much as I have locked it to further followers and have made reference in the biographical description that I will no longer be posting to it due to a psycho delusional stalker. As part of the finality that I just posted about the other day, I am trying to savour what life can feel like without this woman in my everyday life. ¬†With a restraining order set against her, I no longer have to wonder if she is sitting outside my house, or questioning whether the blonde woman who just walked by was her. ¬†I no longer have to worry when I open my email that my husband will have forwarded me an email relating to the case at hand, showcasing more intolerable behaviour on the part of this crazed lunatic. In essence, I am looking forward to not having to look over my shoulder all the time. ¬†I imagine it must feel pretty….quiet. ¬†I look forward to it.

What irks me, in the end, is that I have had to curb the activities that I enjoy in order to live my life in peace. ¬†How someone can march into your life, try to steal your husband, sleep with your spouse, become pregnant by him, demand money, harass, stalk, create false police and legal claims which cost us money to refute….and *I* should suffer? ¬†What the hell did I do? ¬†I didn’t sleep with the whore….from what I hear, it wasn’t really worth it, anyway.

It just angers me that these crazy borderline personality whores feel entitled to enmesh themselves into your life, like a virus that constantly mutates in order to continue its attack on the host. ¬†It also angers me that the legal system doesn’t seem to have any provisions in the Family Law code to protect innocent wives and their matrimonial share of the couple’s financial assets from being appropriated by the whore and her spawn (I have to thank sperm donor’s wife for turning me on to that term….I will use it and think of you).

If you enjoy my blog, and want to read another reader’s blog, I would like to direct you to her page. ¬†She writes very well, and is very informed about the goings on in mistress world, cheating, and lust-spawn. ¬† She has coined the mistress perfectly….and her writing is very entertaining. ¬†She too has suffered at the hands of someone who felt entitled to what is hers, and she is fighting to protect her civil rights and freedoms. ¬†I applaud her, and hope to learn from her. ¬†Her website can be found here: ¬†http://spermdonorswife.wordpress.com

Loopy with a side of crazy – I want my life back


For those who have been following the saga, we know that my husband’s mistress is, by all accounts loopy with a side dish of crazy. For those just joining the story who wish to get a more firm grasp on this personality, I will recap:

  • The morning after I learned of the affair, she realized that I hadn’t kicked him out (as she’d hoped), and went nuts. ¬†Knowing that he didn’t want another child, she decided to have the child simply out of spite, claiming to have ‘fallen in love’ with the idea of being a mommy (read: loving the idea of someone loving her unconditionally for once in her life). ¬†She started emailing me and telling me that my husband has to think of her in order to “get off”, and how the two of them used to make fun of my exercise routine, calling me fat, and my exercise group the ‘fat farm’ (I should mention that I am well within my normal weight ranges for my height after having three children, train with a personal trainer and a running trainer twice a week).
  • She said she would terminate the pregnancy if my husband left me.
  • We sought legal protection in order to stop her from contacting us by email, phone or otherwise, and we have made absolutely NO contact with her as we try and rebuild
  • She called my husband’s colleagues and told them of the affair via text message
  • She called the wife of a colleague/friend to tell them she had given birth to his child
  • She emailed my parents and my brother to tell them about the affair under the auspices of trying to gather support for me
  • She threatened to call all of my husband’s colleagues to tell them of the affair under the auspices of trying to gather support for herself (she doesn’t know his colleagues)
  • She stalked us to learn our new home address after we had moved for a fresh start and we found her parked outside our home.
  • She called to laugh at me over the phone and tell me that I am nothing, and that my husband doesn’t love me
  • She sent me emails detailing how they would get together and make love for 12 hours straight and that he was the best sex she’d ever had
  • She setup an account on twitter to document the final days of her pregnancy, naming my husband as the father and outing the affair
  • She stalked my twitter account in order to determine who I am connected with and then sent some of my connections (colleagues) details about the affair and that my husband had fathered her child
  • She posted a comment on my business blog under the auspices of trying to get support for me from my clientele
  • She emailed my husband and I ultrasound images of the baby so that we could “celebrate” with her
  • She emailed my husband a month before the baby was born to tell him that she was in early labour and ‘scared’ and that he is listed on the chart as ‘dangerous’ and that she is registered under protective status (makes a lot of sense to tell someone you claim is harassing you and who you are scared of what your exact location is)
  • She commenced a legal action against him claiming wrongful dismissal which has cost us thousands of dollars
  • She commenced a Human Rights Code Complaint stating that she was sexually harassed and forced into sex, but in her demands asks for her job back and $100K in damages (if you were truly scared of a man and considered him a sex attacker, would you ask to be reinstated in that job?)
  • Last month she sent an email to her lawyer (working for her for free, by the way, while we have spent upwards of $50K in legal expenses), that we continue to stalk her online (never contacted her and have done NO such thing – her name is never mentioned in this blog or her identity revealed for the reasons that we don’t wish to engage her).
So perhaps that gives you a little taste of what we are dealing with.
So, as you saw in my previous post, she is now going to be receiving TRIPLE the amount of child support, and it sickens me to know that she is doing her happy dance at home, earning more in child support payments than she did in her job.
But, to make matters worse, today she sent an email to her lawyer claiming that she would like the harassment from my husband and I to stop. ¬†She claims my husband’s colleagues have been emailing her pornographic information and sending inappropriate emails and phone calls to her home. ¬†She pleads for the behaviour to stop, and claims that she just wants to move forward ‘amicably’. ¬†Let it be known that NONE of my husband’s colleagues are aware of the affair and NONE of them know her personal information, let alone her phone number. It is a complete fabrication.What pisses me off more than anything is the fact that she can make these assenine claims, taking up the time of our respective lawyers’ time, and then we have to pay our lawyer to reply to something that is completely false. ¬†She is draining us of every penny we own, and embarks on things like this as if they were sport. ¬†Her lawyer costs her NOTHING as it is a friend to her father. ¬†Nice. ¬†She is playing games to get us unnerved knowing that it will start a series of communications, and perhaps keep her ‘fresh’ in my husband’s mind, and mine.

I told my husband that she should be forced to PRESENT these emails that she claims to have received, and voice recordings of all voicemails. ¬†When she can’t produce them, she should be told that she is either:
  1. Lying and fabricating bullshit for fun
  2. Truly believing that these events are happening, in which case she is mentally unfit to parent this child and we are seeking support
Something tells me that given those two options, she would admit to having lied before threatening to have her custody revoked due to her being unfit.  In doing so, she would essentially be admitting to having lied, fracturing her own credibility with her counsel.
I am literally at the end of my rope. ¬†I can’t believe this crazy person has been admitted into our lives. ¬†I just want my life back.

Living in silence


In the wake of the affair discovery, we retained a lawyer to help us draft a cease and desist order against the mistress who continued to contact our family, set on causing as much collateral damage as possible. ¬†One of the things our lawyer advised us of was to not engage in the same behaviour in retaliation. ¬†We needed to be the better people, walk on higher ground. ¬†In the event that we were ever to pursue anything criminal, we needed to be able to show that we hadn’t responded to, or initiated any vindictive behaviour towards her. ¬†We were to moderate our behaviour thinking of the bigger picture – that this may one day end up in court, and we needed to remain innocent.

When someone walks into your life, your marriage, your family, and attempts to steal from you all that you consider sacred, your first reaction is that of anger and retaliation. ¬†I wanted to choke her with my bare hands. ¬†I wanted to see her suffer. ¬†I wanted to send her emails to defend my family, my marriage, my self. ¬†She’d painted me as a shallow, self-obsessed and pitiful person whose husband was no longer interested. ¬†I needed her to know that she was wrong. I needed her to know that he didn’t love her, that he loved me. ¬†I needed her to see that her beliefs were crazy, and that he was never going to want her – he never had wanted her. ¬†I wanted her to see the picture for what it really was – a sad set of circumstances that led to a man succumbing to her advances in a moment of weakness and then becoming trapped in her manipulative games and blackmail. ¬† I needed her to know that he hadn’t been there willingly, that she’d trapped him, and I hoped that she’d realize how sad and pitiful it was that the only way that she felt she could get a man was through game-playing and, and the only way that she could keep a man was through manipulation. ¬†I needed her to see how sorry and sad she looked to us, and how much my husband regretted ever having met her. ¬†I needed her to know that he didn’t find her pretty, that he thought her fake breasts were unappealing, that he hadn’t SELECTED her, and that it was only sex…nothing more, nothing deeper, nothing forever. ¬†I needed her to know all of these things, and I had no way to do so. ¬†Legally bound from making any contact with her, I had to sit silently and stew about it, desperately wishing there was a way she could be told how he feels, how we feel….but my hands were tied. ¬†I was silenced.

In the coming weeks when we were receiving ultrasound images, nasty emails, requests for money, and paying exorbitant legal fees to protect ourselves, I felt like I’d been placed in the middle of a boxing ring with her, blindfolded with my hands bound. ¬†She could hit me, pummel me, abuse me – and I wasn’t allowed to fight back. ¬†I was silenced.

I know that we were being protected legally, and that in the long run it would pay off.  I also know that it forced my husband and I to take the focus off of HER and put it back onto US.  For that I am grateful.  But. in the immediate aftermath, when I was reeling with emotion, it was one of the hardest things to do.  It was stifling, and all I wanted to do was to choke her with my bare hands. It was torture.

The rational side of me knew that dwelling on her, and thinking about her was going to do me more harm than good. I wish I could say she doesn’t come to mind…she does several times a day as emotional triggers take hold. I spend more time thinking of her than I do thinking about myself, and it is unhealthy. I just don’t know how to stop. ¬†I am sure it pleases her to know that she has a stronghold on my mind, but at least she no longer does on my husband, and that is one step in the right direction.

Stalking, Slander, and Surreptitiousness


There. ¬†I said it. ¬†I have a stalker. ¬†It is my husband’s ex-mistress. ¬†I kid you not, she actually does stalk me. ¬†Perhaps I should be flattered that someone has taken such a long-standing interest in what I do, where I go, what my family is up to, how my business is operating, and whether there is “trouble in paradise”, but I don’t. ¬†Frankly, I just wish she would grow up and move on.

Now, when pressed, of course, she will feign ignorance (it is part of her passive aggressive nature), and claim instead that her “friends” are checking up on me, my business, what is going on in my life, all because they “care” about her. ¬†Now I should be frank and say that I am not sure these “friends” actually exist. ¬†I am not saying that to be mean, it is simply a contemplative thought because as a woman, us women tend not to gravitate towards those who manipulate, coerce, guilt, tantrum, rope-in and abuse the people they have relationships with. ¬†Wonen like that are hard to get along with. ¬†They are hard to be at ease around. ¬†They put you on edge, make you walk on eggshells and are generally unpleasant. ¬†A person who responds to situations with this kind of hatred, animosity, selfishness, ignorance and entitlement can’t possible have many people around them.

Long before the affair was admitted, she was interested in me. ¬†Perhaps it is part of the mistress agenda to get to know as much about the wife (the competition) as possible, in the same way that the betrayed wife ends up wanting to know as much about the mistress as she can. ¬†From a tactical perspective, it certainly makes sense, but it doesn’t make it any more acceptable to me.

It started when she saved joke emails sent by my husband ¬†which had also been sent to my family members in unison. ¬†Therefore, their email addresses were visible, and I guess she thought they would come in handy. ¬†She would later use these emails when she created a fake email account¬†¬†in order to divulge the details of the affair to my family members. ¬†She started watching my twitter feed to see what I was posting and what we were up to. ¬†Were we going away on vacation, were we having a good time, were we happy? ¬†She needed to know, and twitter was the fastest way to gain that information. ¬†While she never formally followed me on twitter (i.e. didn’t link our accounts to get auto-updates), she would check the feed manually, and often. Via twitter she was able to learn what I was up to, my state of mind…you get the idea.

Over the course of several months, while the affair relationship was ongoing, she visited my twitter feed often, learning little details about my thoughts, feelings, whereabouts, happiness in my marriage. ¬†She probably felt like she was spying on us virtually. ¬†I guess it’s a good thing I don’t post everything to twitter ūüôā ¬†I had once tweeted that I found it interesting that the Tiffany’s jewelry store has a wish list which you can create and then email to your husband/boyfriend so that he knows what you like. ¬†“How convenient!”, I thought, even though I am not a big jewelry wearer. ¬†My husband had indicated a desire to buy me a Tiffany’s key, which had led me to the site in the first place, and my observation of there being a wish list was simply my being impressed that such a thing was possible. ¬†During the texting marathon that she and my husband engaged in in the wake of the affair disclosure, she commented: “Oh I am sure this isn’t bother [your wife] one little bit. ¬†All it takes is some Tiffany’s jewelry, and she is satisfied” and some further comments about how shallow I am that jewelry will make this all better. ¬†For the record, I don’t wear a lot of jewelry. ¬†I have worn the same diamond solitaire earrings in my ears since 2001 when my first son was born. ¬†They were a gift from my husband on the birth of our first child. ¬†We called them my “push present”. ¬†I thought it was adorable. ¬†They’ve remained in my ears ever since, and it has now been 10 years. My watch was purchased for me on my 5th wedding anniversary and is the only one I own. ¬†My wedding band and engagement ring adorn my ring finger, and the 4th finger of my opposite hand has a family ring that my husband bought as the ‘push present’ for our last child. ¬†I never take any of it off. ¬†I am not one of those who rotates her jewelry, or showcases various pieces from her collection. ¬†I am far too low maintenance to “accessorize” – just one more thing to think about, so I don’t bother. ¬†I never have. ¬†Her comment about me being shallow could not be further from the truth, but what can I expect from a woman who has already painted me with her brush, and who will refuse to see any information that contradicts her fixed false belief. ¬† To do so would be a waste of my time. ¬†If she should ever read this, perhaps this will let her know that she was horribly inaccurate.

She then visited the blog that I maintain for my business, and¬†attempted to leave a cloaked comment about her relationship with my husband because she thought my consumers might want to “support me”. ¬†Her comment was never published. I moderate my blog for this reason.

Two days after the affair was disclosed, my husband and I decided we needed a night out to ourselves. ¬†We’d just been through the ringer, and really craved some alone time, a place where we could talk – uninterrupted. ¬†I tweeted that day that we were going on a date, and she later referenced that in a text, saying “You’re going on a DATE? ¬†What, are you using me and this situation to IMPROVE your marriage?”. ¬†The answer to that, a resounding YES. ¬†We had a family friend come to watch the kids, and she called our home 27 times that evening, hanging up each time she reached voicemail. ¬†Our sitter doesn’t answer the phone, and allows each call to go to voicemail, but after the 28th attempt, she picked up the phone in order to ask “what the heck is wrong with you that you are calling here so often?”, and our sitter was then treated to a monologue detailing the affair, what a bitch I must be, and how my husband LOVES her. ¬†Interesting take on it sweetie.

Over the next few months, she was legally prohibited from contacting us directly or via email, text messages, because we obtained legal counsel. ¬†She was asked to cease and desist, and threatened with court action if her behaviour wasn’t amended. ¬†Being the sneaky conniving person she is, and believing that she outsmarts other people, she tried to find other ways of accidentally conveying information she wanted us to know, and ways to harm our family. ¬†She emailed us the ultrasound images for her baby, and mentioned that she was keeping the baby now, based on some comments she’d heard me say about how “important family is”. ¬†Whatever. ¬†My husband never bothered to open the email, he isn’t interested.

A few quiet months went by with several cloaked attempts to contact us. ¬†She emailed my husband a couple of times, trying to make it appear as though he was simply on her ‘distribution list’, and that his inclusion was merely an oversight.

She would later send another email, this time directly, telling him that she thought she was in the hospital for early labour and was going to put into effect protective orders for her and her baby into place, preventing him from accessing them, and protecting the baby from “his abuse”. ¬† Along with our lawyer, we all got some pretty intense belly-aching laughs out of that one because, as our lawyer so gingerly pointed out, most women who are genuinely afraid of a potential attacker don’t typically send them an email telling them where they can be found. ¬†These same people who are terrified of their aggressor don’t often also give the baby his surname. ¬†She really thinks other people don’t see through her lame-ass behaviour. ¬†It was merely an excuse to mention the baby, gain contact with him, and test whether he cares for her or not. ¬†Newsflash: he doesn’t.

She decides to see how this whole Twitter thing works, and creates an account for herself. ¬†Every tweet she makes is about the baby, how excited she is, how this is such a gift, how friends and family are chomping at the bit to babysit, yada yada yada. ¬†She went on in later tweets to name him as the father of the child (when this had not yet even been confirmed), made mention of how everyone knew about the affair except me, and hoped that her daughter didn’t end up being an “idiot-savante” like her father. ¬† We were actually impressed that she was able to use that word in a sentence. ¬†Triple point score! ¬†(She won’t get that reference either, so I will save her the trouble and mention it has to do with scrabble). ¬†Words aren’t her strong suit.

Not satisfied that her twitter feed isn’t being read by ANYONE, and that I may never stumble across it, she decided to mention the usernames of some of my friends in one of her tweets. ¬†I should mention, for those not well versed in twitter, that if you mention someone’s twitter username in a tweet, they will be notified that they were mentioned, and directed to the tweet. ¬†So, she baited some of the people I have listed as friends on twitter (she looks at my account, remember), by mentioning them, and hoping they would come see her page. ¬†They did, and I was immediately sent 5 emails asking what the heck was going on. ¬†I simply told them it’s my crazy stalker causing trouble, and nothing was ever said about it again. ¬†Obviously she thinks outsiders care much more about this situation than they actually do. ¬†Truthfully, people are far too consumed with themselves to give due attention to anyone else’s shit.

Given that her behaviour in creating her twitter account was to slander my husband and I, and to cause us psychological harm, she was asked to disable her account and take down her tweets.  She feigned ignorance about how to do that, attempting to buy herself more time for the information to be publicly available.  I was asked to send her written instructions on how to disable a twitter account.  I was happy to provide the help, as I am always about helping those less fortunate than I.

She discovers, via Twitter, that my husband and I are throwing a holiday party in our home. ¬†I tweet some images of the decor and preparations. ¬†Within a couple of hours, she sends a text message to a friend of ours she suspects will be at the party to inform him that she and my husband had sex, and that she had recently given birth to a baby girl. ¬†He received the text message, shook his head, and refused to reply. ¬†He, like many others, simply didn’t find her worth his time. ¬†He had worked with her and my husband, so she had obtained his cell phone by said means. ¬†Given that she desperately hopes for her behaviour to have immediate impact, his apathy to the situation and lack of reply pushed her to try a little harder…she called and left a message at his home. ¬†His wife, also our friend, heard the message, and not aware of who this was, or what this was about, called back in order to make sense of the ridiculousness of her assertions and winds up in a 10 minute conversation with her, where once again, she felt the need to divulge all of the details. ¬†What she probably didn’t know was that our friend, and the woman on the other end of the phone, is a psychiatrist. ¬† It certainly was interesting to hear, from a psychiatric perspective, what she thought about this woman.

Upset that her recent request to receive $3000.00 per month above the regular child support payment to cover the cost of a private nanny was denied, she decided to lash out. ¬†She called my husband’s workplace and lodged a formal complaint about him. ¬†She did so anonymously, but does she really think we wouldn’t know that it was her? ¬† He doesn’t have any other crazy stalker mistresses out there with the same backstory…She mentioned in her complaint, that she had been employed by him, outside of this current job, that he fathered her child, and that he was defaulting on child support payments. ¬†I should mention that her past point, about him defaulting on child support is completely false. ¬†He pays each payment on time, by post dated cheques, and is completely fulfilling his financial obligation. ¬†To say that he was not constitutes slander. ¬†I am sure she has no idea she broke the law when she mentioned untruths in an attempt to tarnish his reputation. Her desire was to paint him as irresponsible and morally corrupt , and not deserving of a position of influence within the organization. ¬†Her attempt failed miserably, as the complaint was directed to his colleague who extended my husband a great deal of sympathy, and admitted that he too had once had a crazy woman involved in his life, attempting to destroy his marriage. ¬†He was familiar with the “type”, and would ensure that he would be personally ¬†handling any further dealings with the complainant.

So here we are, in March of 2011, so what comes next?  Stay tuned to find out if the craziness continues.  This image so fits with her personality:

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