Over the hump and happy once more

I was going to call this post “A state of affairs” to talk about the state of my marriage today, but then realized it was a play on the word ‘affair’ and while funny, perhaps not appropriate.  So I erased it, and tried to come up with a post title that would illuminate feeling like

Seeing the affair through the eyes of a mistress

Sun Tzu, the ancient Chinese Military General once said, “Know thine enemy”.  According to him, the best way to defeat a force is to know it well, have an ability to predict its next move, remain one step ahead, and to never be surprised. I made a decision, about halfway through the last year, that

Debunking the myths of infidelity

In both my reading on the topic of infidelity and in my casual polls taken among friends, it seems there are many myths that come with the territory of infidelity.  Some of these myths are held by women, some by men, and some by both.   Some are held by mistresses, some by wives.  I’ve

Stalking, Slander, and Surreptitiousness

There.  I said it.  I have a stalker.  It is my husband’s ex-mistress.  I kid you not, she actually does stalk me.  Perhaps I should be flattered that someone has taken such a long-standing interest in what I do, where I go, what my family is up to, how my business is operating, and whether

Two in the bed and three in the head

One of the most difficult things I’ve had difficulty with, on this journey to recovery from his affair, is seeing him naked.  His naked body reminds me them together, and that makes me enormously sad.  The intimacy and privacy that we once shared has been shattered, and I wonder if it will ever be the

Entitlement

Of the many things that plague me in the wake of my husband’s affair, the thing that perplexes me most is the sense of entitlement in his mistress.  How is it that someone can feel entitled to my husband? My family? My life? A woman walks into a high end clothing store and after browsing

Loss

The devastation of an affair brings about a sense of loss like none I have ever experienced.  In that one moment, when I’d realized that my husband had been with another woman, I felt like I’d lost everything that was important to me.  I lost our intimacy, the trust, the sense of ‘knowing’ the man

When the shit hits the fan A.K.A “Your plan backfires”

Like I said in the last post, all mistresses are working for one thing…destruction of the marriage. And yes, they are working. I liken it to an unpaid prostitute, except there is one main difference: prostitutes let go. Prostitutes fuck and move on, mistresses fuck and [want to] move in. Some mistresses wait years for

An orchestrated seduction

There’s that saying: “In the right place at the right time”.  Apparently that’s possible. At the time that the affair with his mistress started, my husband had been going through some personal turmoil that had left him feeling very alone and traumatized.  Our lives were so busy, each of us wrapped up in our careers,

The first day of the rest of my life

The title of this post sounds overly dramatic.  It doesn’t make the statement any less true.  I honestly felt, upon waking on the first morning after the discovery of my husband’s affair, that it was the first day of the rest of a new life.  Life as I had previously known it was over.  The