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The culture of infidelity


We’ve all heard them, those twangy country songs about a cheating heart,  a betrayed faithful wife…some great catchy song that screams pain and heartache.  I grew up lstening to my parent’s love of country music, but I was never a fan…I just found the lyrics were always so sad, bellyaching about someone’s disappointment, heartache, loss…blech

I turned to top 40 😉

But once this happens to you, once infidelity sneaks its way into your life, you view the world through its lens.  I’ve become accustomed to hearing infidelity in song lyrics, and can now, better than ever, identify with the pain the artist is conveying because I feel like the song was written for me.

But, what about those songs that seem to promote infidelity?  Like in the 2011 hit “I like it” by Enrique Iglesias where he sings “My girlfriend’s out of town and I’m all alone.  Your boyfriend’s on vacation and he doesn’t need to know”

or the most recent hit by Nicki Minaj where she claims to want a man she knows is married and has a wife at home, but just wants one night….

It’s really sad what our music industry is telling young impressionable women….go take a man, even if he is married, it doesn’t matter.  Hurt the wife and kids, take what is yours.  WTF?

Is it just me? I preferred the old country tunes from the perspective of the woman scorned because THAT I could relate to and get behind.  This trash?  Hardly.   How can we advocate walking into a marriage and just taking a prize?

The sad part is that before I actually LISTENED to the song, I actually liked it 😦

Personally, I like the ones where a woman scorned gets even, like this one:

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Resurrecting the psycho…she’s BACK!


Tell me I am misdirecting my anger. Tell me that my anger and hostility towards the OW is inappropriate. I dare you.

Wednesday morning, October 31st, my husband received the following email to his inbox. It came from his lawyers office. In his lawyer’s absence (she was in court apparently), the legal assistant forwarded to him the following email, received from the OW the day prior (names have been removed):

(It needs to be mentioned here that in the weeks following up to the receipt of this email, the psycho crazy whore discovered that legally, she was entitled to no additional money this year, over and above the amount she was given last year, after a financial review was completed on her daughter’s birthday, October 20th. Upset and likely angry at this reality, she lashed out with the email below) My clarification points are in bold italics.

Dear Lawyer,
The Corporate financial statement you have provided (which is currently under review) does not include financials for (husband’s) additional Professional Corporation and business accounts for which (husband) himself has already provided documentation of its existence. When do you anticipate forwarding that information?
(Read: I want more money, which is the only reason I had this kid I never wanted in the first place)
(There are no additional corporations in his name. He has not provided documentation of their existence. They don’t exist)

Please inform your client third parties have reported acquiring documentation of your client and his wife’s ongoing sexually deviant obsession with me. It appears the Family are so delusional in the false reality in which they have created (& force their sons) to live in, that they choose to ignore the fact that the entire downtown core has cameras to capture harassing behaviour and their digital imprint is unique. Your client has put both me and his daughter in danger by publicly providing our home address, telephone number & email address on multiple occasions. Further, the attacks by (husband) on me professionally have been well documented for years. It appears He has made it his personal mission to discredit me professionally since signing the Order in January. Third parties are understandably (given Husband’s violent history) terribly concerned for (daughter’s) safety and my own. Should they choose to provide evidence of Husband’s ongoing harassing behaviors to the appropriate authorities, governing bodies, Government agencies, Husband’s workplace, the university, and the taxation offices to protect (daughter) and I from Husband that is their choice. I have no control over others actions and I do not communicate about Husband in any way. Further, the fact that Husband a 45 year old man, regularly & voyeuristically views online photographs of his female child Nicole is widely regarded as pedophilic in nature.
Let it be known that statements of cameras capturing activities downtown are ridiculous and speak to a paranoia or mental illness. As someone with significant mental illness training, this wreaks of paranoid schizophrenia. There is no harassing behaviour being captured on any close circuit television cameras anywhere. Her desire for us to be interested in her astounds me. We aren’t interested sweetheart. Get over it. Not only has my husband not discredited her professionally, he has made no contact with her whatsoever. My husband’s violent history??? What violent history? He hasn’t spoken with you since March 21st, 2010….not an email, letter, voicemail, or otherwise. Violent tendencies? Riiiiiight. It may be of interest to readers to know that the order between them contains a non-harassment clause that they may not harass one another. What does the sending of this letter consist of? Harassment, yes. In addition, the order also stipulates that they may not speak of the relationship to third parties, and that third parties are also restricted from discussing the relationship or compromising the other. Her intentional statement of “I don’t speak about him, but I can’t control what ‘my friends’ do” is threatening to breach the order and be in contempt of court.

Please be advised I continue to abide by the Order and do not discuss Husband or this matter in any way, however I am incapable of turning my ears and eyes off when third parties provide documentation regarding Husband’s ongoing obsession with me.
And what third parties are these? Last time we checked, you don’t have any friends to speak of.

Additionally may I remind you that prior to January 2012, all information pertaining to Husband’s affair with me, our daughter, his out of control mental illness, his years of harassment, violence, misogynistic and sexually deviant behavior towards his daughter and myself, his attacks on his wife, and his own acknowledgment of his questionable reporting to the CRA and copies of said information was not confidential.
Oh the attacks feel good don’t they? Claiming my husband has a mental illness. Projection much? He hasn’t had years of harassment towards anyone, isn’t violent or misogynistic in any way. There is NO deviant sexual behaviour towards his daughter – he has never met her. He does not attack me, and has never falsified his taxes. He is an honest man with a good heart who made a mistake. Sounds like someone is feeling sad that they weren’t the ultimate winner here. The very fact that a mother places her daughter in a position within her own mind of being someone’s sexual prey, is, in and of itself, morally reprehensible. You sick fuck.

I had sincerely hoped at this point your client would move on with his life and stop dangerously imposing himself on mine. However given the overwhelming amount of evidence of his harassing actions since January 2012 (what evidence is that you speak of?), it is clear Husband is incapable of doing so. In fact his obsession with us seems to have escalated. It has been noted that Husband’s public behavior clearly supports his self reported alcoholism (really? that one is kind of funny) and unstable mental illness (here comes the projected mental illness again) which reportedly appears to cycle every 25-30 days between manic hypersexual delusional acts of grandeur and depressive, retaliatory, violent acts against me and (daughter) (I’d like to know how a man who has never seen this child, nor laid eyes on you since March 19th, 2010 has engaged in violent acts against you?) . Need I remind you reportedly your client, in December 2011 tweeted online a request for his I Phone to perform oral sex on him and in June 2012 reportedly posted a photograph online of a hotel room bed with 3 champagne glasses (which I understand third parties assumed belonged to him, me and his wife). Perhaps your client’s self acknowledged mental illness (again with the mental illness???) prevents him from realizing how disturbing and perverse this behaviour is to all everyone with Internet access who views it.
I should clarify here that the iphone oral sex reference and the champagne glasses do have a basis in reality, but have been quite skewed.
Reference 1: When my husband first got his iPhone 4S, we discovered Siri, the voice-recognition assistant that learns your needs and answers your questions. Many people had asked Siri to marry them, and received hilarious replies. We took it a step futther, and I asked my husband to ask her for a blowjob. When he did, her reply was that he’d better check with me first. I found that hysterical and tweeted it, or Facebook-posted it – I can’t recall which. Either way, the fact that she saw it proves that she is still stalking me online, and in doing so, is breaching the court order that she would no longer do that.
Reference 2: In June 2012, I traveled to San francisco with my family. Upon arrival, my friend who is local, had left us a bottle of champagne and two glasses, along with some treats for my kids. It was a great welcome gift. I tweeted or Facebook-posted (can’t recall) how fortunate I felt to have such wonderful friends who would do something so kind. In the posting, I’d included an image of the glasses, and likely the hotel room fell into the background. Correction: There were two glasses, not three, and she was never invited 😉

Your client’s ongoing obsession with me is disturbing. I now sincerely believe His terrifying January 2010 email to me whereby he stated “My dear sweet (name withheld), you are the glue that keeps my marriage together. Without your joyful free spirit in my life I would be unhappy and forced to focus on my miserable marriage to my selfish wife. I need you in my life to be happy. You can’t ever leave me. I won’t let you”.
This email was completely fabricated. He has never written that email. It doesn’t even make sense. Since when does side-pussy become the glue that holds a marriage together? This was written for one intention: so that I would read it and get worried. Just another attempt to drive a wedge.

Lawyer, I respectfully ask that you please advise your client to get over our affair and move on with his life. We had sex for a year which resulted in the single greatest joy I have ever known, our beautiful daughter. His ongoing attacks, harassment and obsession with us are criminal. He is endangering the safety of his own child and me. I sincerely hope he can one day make peace with the fact that [he has a]daughter and we can move forward in a positive manner towards the best interests of (daughter).
Maybe someone, in the “best interest of her daughter should spend more time parenting her, instead of sending completely bogus, vitriolic emails, designed to cause further harm to a family who has been through enough. Perhaps she should focus her energies there.

Separately, I may be required to work extra hours over the coming months. Please advise Husband I will forward all receipts for additional daycare costs incurred or documentation from Daycare if try are able to accommodate. I will also provide documentation supporting the hours worked.
More money, more money, more money.

Given the fact that it is your client who has intentionally dragged matters on by breaching the Court Order and refusing to provide his tax information at the required times, he will provide Novembers support cheque and payment to the daycare to me by November 1. Any adjustments will be made at a later date once his 2011 returns have been reviewed. Further, the information re his corporate returns was dated October 4, your client did not forward said information to me until October 23. Further supporting what appears to be his intentions to play games, not cooperate and deliberately not allow for sufficient time to review.
My husband has never once breached the court orders. He was supposed to provide all tax documentation by May 31at, but given that corporate taxes aren’t collected until July, this was no possible. Her side was informed of this, and agreed. Taxes were not completed in a timely fashion by our accountant, admittedly, but this is no fault of ours. He has made repeated attempts to expedite the process, but to no avail. It was finally completed a few weeks ago. Late, but done nonetheless.

Please forward his accurate financial records as well as Novembers support cheque payment to my lawyer immediately. Have your client forward November’s daycare payment directly to the daycare for November 1.
Cause it’s all about the money, money, money…..

Many thanks,
Skank whore
30 months into this ordeal…over 900 days, and we are still receiving this garbage. She is stil actively seeking to cause us harm, to cause me pain, and to destroy my husband’s reputation. When does it end? When do we get peace? When do we get a chance to heal and focus on us? According to our lawyer….never. Things like this rarely ever resolve, she says, and with someone this crazy…even less likely.
So, to all those who told me that my anger is misdirected, and that I have no reason to be upset with the woman who slept with a knowingly married man, got pregnant on purpose, and lashed out at what remained of my self-esteem, and who continues to assault my family, I ask you…upon reading this, do you really feel I have no reason to be upset? If your answer is ‘yes’, you are as mental as she is.
This email left me in a state of primal scream in fetal position. I have had it. I laid in my basement, on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, screaming with a primal anger I think would have been hard to witness (ask my dog), and curled myself up into a fetal position. I eventually got up, called my husband, and asked him if he’d seen the email. He hadn’t. I read it to him. He was pleased. He saw it as further proof that she continues to be unhinged…and that she is showing her true colours every time. He was pleased because it spoke to the fact that she must be angry she isn’t going to extort any more money from us. For that, he is pleased. I wish I could see the optimism here, because from someone who didn’t get to fuck this cow, I don’t see many unicorns and rainbows in this letter, just sludge and venom. Needless to say, I felt better after we’d talked, booked an hour long telephone-therapy appointment with my therapist to talk about it, and am now doing much better.

A wife’s double standard


Comments left recently on the blog, in response to some blog posts that I have made, have shown me that a double standard exists between wives and a husband’s other woman.

Many comments made recently have alluded to the fact that me, as a betrayed spouse, have no reason to be angry with the other woman. I am told that my anger is displaced and misdirected. I am told that instead of being angry with the other woman, I should be directing my anger towards my husband, as if I have not already done so.

So, what I want to understand is why is it okay, in so many situations, for the other woman to be so angry at the betrayed wife? Why, for example, is the other woman in my situation so bitter and angry towards me? Most of her anger throughout this 2 1/2 year ordeal has been directed at me. She has written things in emails, designed especially for me to read. She has hidden false details of their relationship in legal documents, designed for me to find, intended to cause me harm. For example, my husband never told his affair partner that he loved her. However, in court documents, she would find ways of cloaking these comments between existing lines of text, saying things like, “and when he told me that he loved me so often,…” She knows they are false, and she also knows that my husband will see them as false. What she is banking on, however, is that I will read them and feel hurt, question myself, question my self-worth, and ultimately do more damage to me. That is her plan. She isn’t trying to persuade my husband to see a reality that never was, Because she knows that he too was present, and he will remember the details as they were also. What she’s banking on is that I, someone he wasn’t there, will not know the real truth, and will start to question my husband’s integrity further, creating more uneasiness in our marriage.

When the other woman decided to call the police, to claim harassment and stalking, she didn’t do so against my husband, she did so against me. When the other woman had to disclose the location of her daughter’s daycare, in court documents, so that my husband could pay 95% of the costs to the appropriate location, she made sure to add in bold letters, that she did not want the location of the daycare revealed to me, as she feared for her personal safety, alluding to the fact that I mentally unstable, a stalker, and threat. Further actions to cause other people, including lawyers, to believe that I, the betrayed spouse, am the crazy one. Another attack, not against my husband, but against me.

When the other woman was asked to provide proof of school attendance for herself, in order to justify the day care expenses that my husband was required to incur, She sent copies of her school schedule, purposely blackening out her student number, indicating that she didn’t feel comfortable with me having access to this information, because she felt I was psychotic, and would cause her harm or distress through use of her student number. Funny, never once expressed concern about my has been having this information, nor the address of the daycare where his child is looked after, only me.

Prior to ever wanting a restraining order against my husband, she first want a restraining order placed against me. Prior to entering the hospital to give birth to her child, she mentioned feeling uncomfortable with me, afraid for her child’s safety, and her own.

All of this causes me to ask the question “why is she so angry with me, instead of my husband?”

The answer to that, I think, would be quite simple. She didn’t get what she wanted. She wanted my husband. She lost. In her mind, the only thing standing between her and my husband having a lifetime together, with me. In her mind, it’s as if I walked into their union, and tore them apart, when in reality, that’s exactly what she attempted to do to me. Nice double standard.

I try very hard to see everyone’s perspective in this mess. Inasmuch as I do not want to enter the mind of the other woman, sometimes I feel it is necessary in order to gain perspective. As I mentioned in my last post a couple of days ago, I recently went through some of the communications between my husband and his affair partner, having the opportunity to see the way they spoke, the things they said, the way they felt. In reading this material, I discovered that my husband’s affair was not merely sexual, but it was an emotional affair as well. He mentioned to her several times how she was his vacation, his calamity, his source of peace during a chaotic time in his life. Funny, that should have been me. Apparently it wasn’t. He worried when she was upset, he claims, in his emails, to have gotten tears in his eyes, when she expressed sadness or worry, he was excited and elated for her when she had successes. He came to bat for her at work, when her job was in trouble. He expressed deep gratitude when she supported him, and it reads like he wasn’t getting that support anywhere else. When he complemented her sexually, it sounded like all that they had done was novel, him never having experienced it like that before. He made it sound like he was deprived emotionally and sexually. Is it any wonder she later called me “emotionally unavailable and frigid”?This is not simply someone who is having sex with another person, this is someone who cares about the other person. Perhaps a few weeks into their sexual relationship, when the novelty was gone, my husband no longer wished to be in the relationship, and started to feel the stranglehold. However, as his emails and text messages indicate, there was a time when he was very interested, was seeking her out, was complementing her, and was making her feel loved, approved, attractive, valued, and comforted. It is really no wonder she felt they had a future together. I don’t think she concocted this in her own mind, out of psychotic stupidity, but rather, she felt this way because it reflected what she was told. It’s right there on paper.

So, once the relationship was revealed, and my husband decided to stay with me, she saw me as the reason they were no longer together. She didn’t see my husband as having had a change of heart, nor as a liar, or a cheater, or a man who would’ve said anything to have his cake and eat it too. Instead, she saw a man who had professed to care about her deeply, and his actions show the same, until I was in the loop. To be fair, my husband’s email communications did change, prior to my finding out about the affair. He told her he wasn’t interested anymore, he told her he wanted out, he told her that if she chose to have his child, she needed to make her decisions knowing that he would not be involved. It isn’t as though my husband’s intentions, actions, and words were suddenly changed, but that is how she will see it.

So, the double standard that I see here is, “why is it not okay for me to be angry with the other woman, and asked to direct my anger towards my husband, but the same isn’t being asked of the other woman?” Shouldn’t her anger be directed at my husband? Shouldn’t she be angry for having been misled? Shouldn’t she be hurt and furious that the man who professed to care about her, love her, comfort her, value her, has suddenly run back to his wife and children, when it appeared as though he was, at times, prepared to leave them? Wouldn’t anyone in that situation feel confused, betrayed, letdown, angry? So then, once her world came crashing down around her, why not direct her anger at the appropriate source? Why not direct her vitriol towards the person who has truly caused this for her? After all, I didn’t promise her my husband, I didn’t promise to share, I didn’t go back on my word. As I am so often told by these other women, “I owed you nothing”, but in my case, that includes my husband. I didn’t owe her anything. I didn’t come in the middle of her relationship. I didn’t enter on to sacred territory and try to tear them apart. I didn’t do anything. I was completely in the dark. Exactly how I responsible for her unhappiness?

If we ask the betrayed wives to redirect their anger towards their husbands, why don’t we ask the same of these other women who are spending so much time, energy, and resources, trying to tear down the innocent women whose lives they’ve already destroyed?

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The veil of secrecy


Sometimes I wonder, if it is considered “OK” to sleep with a married man, and most mistresses claim that they weren’t doing anything wrong, why is the relationship always veiled in secrecy?  Why do so many call it a “relationship” when really it is an illicit sexual attempt at a relationship?  Why do mistresses try so hard to take a man from his family and ruin a home, and then hold such disdain for the term “home wrecker”?  If you are so proud of the relationship and see nothing wrong with what you are doing, why not wear it loud and proud on a T-shirt?

“I am sleeping with a married man and wish he’d leave his family…”

“I am sooooo much better than my ‘boyfriend’s wife”

“My boyfriend has kids and a wife, but shhhhhh! they don’t know”

I wonder what kind of pride-filled, awe-inspired glances you’d get from passerby’s?

Would your grandma be proud?

Make grandma proud, be a homewrecker

be the pride of YOUR town

A fellow blogger started a site called “She’s a homewrecker”, designed to put under the spotlight the women who are so proud of their conquests.  C’mon ladies, don’t be upset, after all, you are only being rewarded for doing such honourable work, being so selfless, and truthfully if you really are the victim you claim to be, we just want to offer you the support.

She’s a Homewrecker

Feel free to add yourself, tell your story, share your picture.  After all, there is no shame in what you’ve done, or are actively doing, right?   So join the movement, expose yourself, don’t be shy.  If you’ve done nothing wrong, there should be no problem at all telling your story.  Be proud, share your victim story and we will all shed a little tear for all you’ve suffered through while sleeping with our husbands – it must have been so hard for you.

Do grandma proud.

Being the bigger person, and thinking like a man


OK I will be the first to admit it…my fight isn’t with my husband.  My fight is with his whore.  What a lying, conniving, self-centered, entitled piece of shit slutbag.

I feel better.  Thanks.

Over the last few days, 3-4 ladies have popped up on my comments in various posts sharing their stories.  Some have just found out this week, others a few months back, but we all share the same story.  Some dirty ass whore skunk walked into their marriage and tried to get involved with their husbands.  In some cases, the slutbag got herself pregnant (and I use that phraseology on purpose because although it takes two to make a baby, I am quite convinced that many of these woman plan the pregnancy in order to capture the man or at the very least his money in the form of child support).   Now, this post is not about faulty marriages, how these marriages had problems before she came along, etc.   Those posts have their place, and I will be the first to admit that my marriage was not, and is not perfect.  But this post is simply to shed light on, and illuminate the ever-growing trend I am seeing of women PURPOSEFULLY becoming involved with a married man and getting pregnant ON PURPOSE.

What the fuck is wrong with these people?  I don’t even want to call them women, because I think it does all classy women a disservice by sharing title with these trailer trash whores.  These women are sub-human garbage.

I read a note today from a woman who just received a book in the mail from her husband’s mistress.  SEVEN YEARS after the fact, this whore is STILL bent out of shape, and took it upon herself to mail a book to the couple on how to be a good father.  The inscribed note said something to the tune of “the first step in being a good dad is to love your child’s mother”.  Ummm hello??  First of all, sex created that child, not love.  There was no love there.  There was vulnerability + opportunity.  And while you could take the letters in those two words, scramble them, and find the word love in there somewhere, you can also find “loopy”, and “tart”, so there you have it.  This CRAZY psycho, this many years later, has the balls to further infringe on this marriage?  Of course not.  She just wanted the husband to be reminded of her (like the monthly support cheque isn’t enough?), and for the wife to feel her nose being rubbed in the dirt one more time.  These little bitch motives, designed by the mentally deranged are intended solely to cause harm and hurt because the mistress is angry and feels defeated.  Good.   She has been.

I just can’t wrap my brain around it I guess.  I would just as soon walk away from a man I discover is married than to make a complete ass of myself, throwing myself at him, making up stories about myself to make myself appear more appealing than I know myself to be, and resorting to bitch tactics like putting down his wife in order to secure a higher pecking order.  Personally I love knowing that I am enough just as I am.  I don’t have to pretend. I don’t have to keep track of my lies.  I just have to be myself and I am lovable.  How liberating. Personally, I’ve never liked being second best, so I can’t imagine putting myself in a position of being second to anyone.  The weird thing is that these skank whores actually think they are the princess and the prize, and that the wives are the sorry, pitiful, unhappy and miserable creatures that their husband’s are just tolerating.  What are they smoking?   They are so convinced that our lives are unhappy, but as I’ve said before, this framework is probably necessary in order for the female brain to understand why a married man is sleeping with them.  I will recap for those who haven’t read that entry:

Men have an uncanny ability to separate sex and emotion.  One does not require the other and they don’t hinge on each other.  He can be emotional and have it not lead to sex, and he can have sex with no emotion whatsoever.  Sex is merely mechanics and feeling good.  It isn’t about being emotionally connected, soft and fuzzy and warm, accepted, loved or cherished.  It’s about getting your sexual needs met with someone of the opposite sex who has the right plumbing.  She doesn’t have to be pretty even, but if she is – bonus.  Studies show, however, that most men don’t have affairs with women prettier than their wives.  Why, I am not sure, because if you are trading, why not trade up?  Who knows…

So here we have men with their sex island not connected to anything emotional, and then we have a woman whose sex island floats in a sea of emotion.  In fact, she likely can’t have sex unless she feels emotionally connected to the person.  Feeling emotional connection heightens her degree of sexual willingness.  So when a married man is willing to engage in sex with another woman, the other woman automatically assesses the situation with her woman brain: “He wants to have sex with me. He must feel emotionally connected to me.  He must love me”, and upon learning that he is married and trying to understand why he is interested in her if married, she reasons that he must be unhappy at home.  He must not love his wife.  If his attention is turned away from the wife to the mistress, it must mean that his love has also shifted, right?  Wrong.  He still loves his wife.  She is his world.  She is the reason he wakes up in the morning feeling secure and comfortable…but he just wanted a piece of trailer ass because it was available and he was vulnerable.

vulnerability+opportunity = affair

So, why is my fight with the mistress?  My fight was originally with them both.  I immediately came to the aid of my husband in the aftermath of the discovery because she went ape-shit-berzerk.  He needed a rational mind, and she’d had his twisted for months.  Mine at the time wasn’t much better, reeling from the news and subject to the hurricane of emotions in my mind, but I guess I was able to put some of it aside in order to remember that underneath the anger and intense disappointment, someone who mere hours ago I loved more than life itself was hurting, and it was my oath to protect that.  For months she waged a war against me, accusing me of horrible things I had not done, calling the police, emailing my friends and family to reveal the affair and embarrass me.  It wasn’t enough to have an affair with my husband.  It wasn’t enough to get pregnant by him.  She needed to see me weeping and broken on the floor.  I wasn’t going to give her that. Months of torture, me turning a blind eye and forcing my mouth shut, sitting on my hands. She, getting away with it, and even getting a court supported pay check for her whoring.  Wow.  To this day, she has never expressed ANY remorse.  She is too busy defending herself and seeking out more support and money for herself.  Pigs will fly before she ever utters anything close to a remorseful statement and the funny thing is that I would be completely open to hearing it.  It would be healing for me, and i wouldn’t even make it hard for her.  But, I know I won’t get it, and I know she still laughs at me in her mind.  For that reason, she is enemy number one.  My husband continues to try and make amends and do the right thing.  Years of counselling, support, tears, breakdowns, yelling, crying, threatening to leave…and he stands by willing to take ALL of it. He is stronger than I would be if it were reversed, and for me, looking at the two of them, he no longer gets my anger.  She does. She hasn’t stepped up.  She hasn’t made amends.  She won’t even try.  She’s too much of a low life to respect herself enough to do the right thing and admit to having made a grave mistake. Oh no….her ego is too fragile.  It won’t happen.  Instead she will fuel her own fire by creating in her own mind stories about me which are false, and which allow her to feel justified in her continued actions.

For me, I think the hardest thing is watching a woman who has exacted so much pain and suffering on another cash a cheque that we write to her every month.  It is like paying your abuser, rewarding your rapist….its ass backwards!  I watch our account drop on the first of each month, knowing that she is reaping the rewards of OUR hard earned money. For what?  A kid she never wanted?  getting her hair done?  Nails? Lord knows she doesn’t use it for her kid cause she buys second-hand shit for that kid despite getting over 8 times more than the average child support recipient.  Heck, in the two years that she was unemployed following D-day she managed to pay rent, groceries. clothes, gas, insurance, car lease, entertainment, and school tuition for a 2-year undergrad program at a local university….WITH NO JOB TO PAY FOR ANY OF IT AND NO SAVINGS.  Who paid for all that shit?  We did.  Thanks to us, she has a university degree, and was able to go to school because WE were court ordered to pay daycare while mommy got her education.  We paid for her books, for her transit pass, for her gym membership.

Whoring should be a class…it has a high reward in the end if you can snag the right guy.

I am still waiting for my apology.

Invitations for submission


It’s a well established fact in therapy that it can be very healing and therapeutic to express oneself to those who have harmed us by composing an emotionally purging letter that one doesn’t send (or perhaps you do…or perhaps someone else sends it for you). You let it ALL hang out, scream and express all the things you never dare said, finally get that comeback that you thought of only later…either way to said it, she heard it…and you feel better.

What would YOU say if you had the chance?

I’d like to offer any of you who have been betrayed the opportunity to send me your letter. I’ll post it for you here, and you can say what you want, name names if you want to, and get it off your chest. Together we will purge…and garner support from others who feel the same way.

Send your email to rescuingmymarriage@yahoo.ca

Parasites


Mistresses are nothing more than parasites.

According to Wikipedia:

Parasite: Parasites increase their fitness by exploiting hosts for resources necessary for the parasite’s survival, e.g. food, water, heat, habitat, and genetic dispersion. (Read: Mistresses look for, and cling to men (hosts) who have the ability to provide them with resources, money, status, etc…)

Parasitism: A type of relationship between organisms…where one organism, the parasite, benefits at the expense of the other, the host (Read: Where the mistress benefits from having a hot relationship with a man she doesn’t have to cook for, clean up after, care for, bear children for, budget finances with, and who will always be extra fun and way more super-awesome than the wife….until he screws her over by not making her number 1, and then she will suck him dry, sinking her teeth in, draining him of any money, self esteem, energy, well-being, and sanity he has left…and she will tell the wife.

“In some cases, a parasite species may coevolve with its host taxa. Long-term coevolution sometimes leads to a relatively stable relationship tending to commensalism or mutualism, as, all else being equal, it is in the evolutionary interest of the parasite that its host thrives.” (Read: although it isn’t rare, in some rare cases, a relationship with a mistress, bourne of infidelity can sometimes survive, but not usually. In any case, regardless of whether it ultimately works out or not, it is in the mistress’ best interest to not beat the married man down too much. After all, she needs every resource he has. So she won’t threaten to tell the wife right away. Instead, she will continue to play the game, disguising herself as ‘everything good’, and waiting until she can get enough dirt on him to make it uncomfortable for him to change his mind. She doesn’t want to show her bitch-side too soon…for it could compromise her access to his resources (money, status).

“Some qualities of the parasite: Parasites evolve in response to the defense mechanisms of their hosts. As a result of host defenses, some parasites evolve adaptations that are specific to a particular host.” (Read: “Omg, you like running? That is such a coincidence, cause I LOOOOOVE running. In fact, I am like super fast at running, and really fit, in case you can’t tell, can I show you how fit I am?”…”Oh wait, you said you DON’T like running??…oh yeah, me neither…it sucks”.

“Parasites employ numerous strategies for getting from one host to another, a process sometimes referred to as parasite transmission or colonization” (Read: When things fall through with sugar daddy #1, there will always be another sugar daddy who will fall for your ridiculous schemes, so polish those skillz.)

 

My husband went to work on Wednesday, like any other day.  Except when he returned from work he says to me “You know how when we were at Anne & Brian Bercht’s seminar , we were told that we should tell each other when something happens, no matter how small?….well I was propositioned today”.

Seriously??  What the hell.  Again?  This is the second third  time SINCE I found out about the affair that someone has propositioned my husband.  The first was a woman who attended his work as an affliliate from another organization, interested in learning the ways his office operates. At the end of the meeting, she showered him with compliments, gushed all over him about how smart and successful he is, and the asked if they could have lunch one day.  He politely told her no.  I almost called her up and gave her a piece of my mind….but then didn’t.

The second time, it was a client of his office, who he noticed dresses very provocatively whenever she comes in to see him.  He started getting a weird vibe, thanks to some insight and training from Brian Bercht, he quickly assessed the situation for what it *could* become, and immediately transferred her to another colleague.  She was quite annoyed, which only confirmed his suspicions.

This third time, happened on Wednesday.  A colleague in his department who works on a casual basis approached him at work.  She hadn’t seem him in a while, and when he asked her how she was, she replied that she was simply “okay”, and was going through a hard time as she was in the midst of a breakup with a boyfriend.  He expressed his sympathy, and the conversation changed course a little.  A little while later, she approached again, as their paths crossed, and asked “Can I ask you a personal question?”.  “Of course”, he replied.  “How old are you?” “I’m 43, he replied”. “See?  I should totally go for older men. I am obviously way more attracted to older men.  I shouldn’t have wasted my time with this guy…..”.  They parted ways, and my husband went about his business.  When the opportunity came up, and they were once again alone, she says “You MUST have known this whole time, right?” , to which he politely told her “I am flattered.  But, I really like your idea about moving downtown to meet some older men and try relating to them”, and then found a reason to distance himself from her.  He came and told me immediately.

When he told me, I was at first shrugging it off, like yet another little comment made, but then this has too many similarities to the WHORE and I was having transference.  I immediately found my blood pressure rising, my heart rate accelerating, while I desperately tried to keep calm and not let it show that I was bothered, so that I could hear the rest of the story.  He finished his story, and I politely asked him her name.  He told me.  I excused myself, and called his office, asking for the person in question.  Luckily for me, it was her who answered the phone.

“Is this ________?”, I asked.

“Yes it is”, she replied.

“Well you may want to think long and hard before you come on to a happily married man”

(Scoffing) “Who the HELL is THIS?”, she replied, obviously uncomfortable.

“Consider this your warning”, I replied, and then hung up.

I returned downstairs without any indication for what I had just done.  It hadn’t sunken in yet.  I was still completely on adrenaline, and needed to calm down, so I busied myself with laundry.  My hands were shaking and I probably could have run the 50m in under 8 seconds….*fast for me*).  I intended to tell him once the kids weren’t around, as I thought he might be upset that I’d taken such a brash action towards one of his colleagues, and possibly compromised him from a work standpoint.  Once the kids were in bed though, I’d gotten myself so worked up about he might be mad, that I didn’t want to tell him.  I was trying to think of good reasons why he DIDN’T need to know…and justify my secret, but then worried that she would tell him, etc.

Within minutes of my call, she emailed him secretly and asked him whether he had possibly “told anyone” about their conversation…she was obviously bugged.  Good.  She emailed again the next morning to tell him she’d received a threatening phone call.  He replied that he knew nothing about it, but that he found her proposition highly inappropriate, and reiterated that he is happily married and won’t tolerate behaviour like that in the future (he is in charge at the office, so he kind of sets the tone…).  She then quickly backtracked and told him he must be mistaken in thinking that she ever propositioned him….(you know, the same old passive aggressive garbage these girls play)

There will be no further communication between she and my husband.  I think she is sufficiently uncomfortable now.

It just speaks to how common these women are, and how little they care about whether a man is married or not.  She has her eye on the prize, and the wife is just a mere hurdle in the race to the finish.  Just step over her, run faster, and claim your prize.  No harm, no foul…..

Parasite.

Now the real question remains as to whether my husband will dare tell me any of these occurrences in the future, knowing that I can easily be thrown off the handle….I hope so 🙂

 

Updating the funnies


For those who missed it, or those that enjoyed the little mocking cartoons I posted on the weekend, I updated that post

Enjoy the new ones 🙂

Perplexed


The self-absorbed righteous mistress thinks it is all about her

 

 

I am perplexed. I am the kind of person who marvels in figuring things out. OK so maybe I don’t really want to know the inner workings of the remote control, or how the thermostat regulates the temperature in the house (I actually know all about the coiled bi-metallic anode), but I love making sense of chaos and finding a reason for why things are the way that they are, especially as it relates to human behaviour. It is for this reason that I first sought a psychology degree in my undergraduate training, and later a masters in psychotherapy. I like knowing what makes people tick. Over the years, learning myself better, I think the reason I was so attracted to knowing what guides human behaviour was my need to predict my environment and feel safe in it. I reason that if I knew what would cause a person to do a certain thing, I could better anticipate it, and not be caught off guard. Regardless, I just enjoy putting people together, like a puzzle, and figuring them out.

The mistress stumps me. You know, as I type those words each time, I don’t even like applying that term to her. The word almost looks regal on screen. The sound of the letters when placed together in a word come off my tongue almost sounding classy, when this woman is the farthest thing from a class act. I guess that is why I prefer to call her the skank, the whore, the cum-dumpster, trailer trash, the slut, the bitch, or as one lovely reader, and fellow blogger likes to call her, the “side pork”. Yup, I still love that one.

 

I can’t figure out what would make a person feel so entitled. I posted a while back on “entitlement”, and reflect often on how this poor excuse for a human being feels so entitled, despite neon signs flashing all around her which tell her the opposite. Can someone be so self-absorbed with such a warped sense of self-importance that they simply don’t think that the rules apply to them? Can someone be so delusional as to think that they are far better than anyone else, and that the rules that apply to most people, are not valid where they are concerned? The latter, of course, is actually a mental illness, and my husband and I (and our various solicitors) are convinced that she is not mentally all there, so maybe that explains it.

Looking back at the story in summary:

We find a woman who meets a married man, decides she likes him, learns he is married, and pursues him anyway. She would probably disagree that she pursued him, and make herself the victim, like he pursued her, but seriously….regardless of how it went down, or who initiated what, at some point, she decided that flirting with, kissing, and sleeping with a married man was something she was OK with, and she went ahead with her behaviour with full knowledge of his marital status, so it doesn’t really matter who pursued who, she wasn’t a victim in all of this as she would claim, she was a 50% responsible co-conspirator with my husband. She felt ENTITLED to him.

She makes the relationship ‘seem’ attractive and fun by stating that she only wants casual sex (these details by the way are found throughout her emails and text messages where she writes literally this), that she is sex-crazy and needs to have sex 4-5 times PER DAY and never feels satisfied. She advertises herself as sexually liberal and interested only in the casual nature of the sex, with no strings attached, and despite saying that she too is involved with someone, she puts forth an ‘escape clause’ that says that either one of them can put an end to the relationship at any time, no questions asked. She hoped my husband wouldn’t read the small print (his penis doesn’t have such good eyesight to read the small little print at the bottom of the page, and is easily distractible), which states that only she can use the escape clause for her own benefit, and that if he attempts to use it, he will be stalked, terrorized, harassed, threatened and his life made utterly miserable – sign on the dotted line. Something smells fishy….that is just too perfect a scenario for a woman to put forth…and so rare. Too bad my husband didn’t follow the golden rule: If something seems too good to be true…it probably is.

When it was obvious that he wasn’t interested, she became pregnant and flaunted that she’d prefer to have an abortion, and would do so if he left me and his kids. He wasn’t prepared to do that. Threats escalated. Then came the ultimatum: You tell your wife this week, or I will. She felt ENTITLED to this relationship and would do whatever she could to secure it. Since she’d already shown him that she means business and would certainly follow through on that threat, he knew the gig was up. She coached him on what to say, and how to say it, and waited gleefully off-stage while he gave the final performance of his marital career, expectantly waiting to rescue him after I kicked him to the curb. Finally, she would get what she wanted. She was ENTITLED to it. But she didn’t read me, as well as I read her, and was side-swiped with the news that he wasn’t leaving, and I wasn’t kicking him out. So the shit hits the fan.

From that moment on, the ENTITLEMENT festered and grew like a cancer, spreading like wildfire, and taking over any sensible, rational part of her brain. She decides to have her baby out of spite, knowing full well that she would be raising this child alone, and that my husband would never see the child. He’d made that very clear to her when she was deciding what to do, and wanted her to make her choice with FULL KNOWLEDGE of how it would look. This wasn’t a surprise, this was her CHOICE. He had no say in whether his child was brought into the world. She alone was going to decide that a child would be born to a fatherless home, with a mentally unstable mother, and would cost the father close to one million dollars in child support over the next 22 years. Yup, you heard me right. TWENTY-TWO YEARS. Sounds like a prison sentence doesn’t it? It feels like one. Funny how TWO people can make a CHOICE to sleep together, TWO people can decide to engage in something illicit, TWO people can conspire to keep it a secret, but ONE person can decide on behalf of BOTH of them whether a child should be born of their union, and that the other person will pay for 95% of it. Somehow that loses its fairness. At that point, what was consensual to BOTH is now decided by ONE, and guided by spite, revenge, and anger. Out of anger for not having “won the prize” when I decided to keep my husband, she decides to birth a child, stating that she looked forward to ruining us financially and having us pay for it (yes, she actually said that), and then goes on a revenge rampage, emailing everyone she can think of that is connected to my husband to tell them about the affair. She felt ENTITLED to let them know, claiming that it was her ‘responsibility’. Not only did she email work colleagues and co-workers, she contacted executive staff who manage over my husband, who have the ability to see him out of his career. When that wasn’t tasty enough, she decided she would also try to ruin us socially, and revealed the affair to friends via email, and then lastly to my parents and brother, so that I could feel a little of the humiliation as well. She felt ENTITLED to share it, it was almost, as she’d put it, her responsibility to let them all know, and cloaked it as a desire to want to inform them all so that they could ‘help me’ emotionally through the pain it would surely cause. When her actions threatened my husband’s reputation among his peers and colleagues, her employment with him was terminated. It was felt that she could no longer work in that environment, was a threat to the organization and to the principal of the company, and was let go. Despite being given 3X the severance pay that she was entitled to, along with a letter of reference, she decided to launch a wrongful dismissal suit because she felt ENTITLED to damages. She claimed emotional distress and psychological torment at having lost her job, and claimed that she was let go because she was pregnant. She obtained a free lawyer who would work for her for free for the next two years, trying to help her collect on damages. She had him convinced that my husband had raped and tormented her, and that he’d impregnated her and then hung her out to dry. He bought into it hook, line, and sinker. Any rational person hearing the story objectively, would have felt some compassion for me, the innocent party, during these proceedings, but her bottom-feeding lawyer looked at me with disgust, and refused to shake my hand when I offered it at our first meeting. Doesn’t surprise me that someone lacking any class would select a lawyer equally un-schooled in the art of human relations. She launched in tandem a complaint with the Human Rights Tribunal, hoping to collect some additional money. She felt ENTITLED to as much money as possible to offset her ‘suffering. When the time came to settle the custody and child support issues (separate legal team, separate court documents), she was encouraged to settle those before the custody would be considered. She wanted the custody settled so that her payments would be court ordered and enforceable, because she felt ENTITLED to obtain as much money from his as possible. She ended up receiving a considerable sum in settlement pay in order to drop her two false claims (she wasn’t wrongfully dismissed, and she wasn’t discriminated against (human rights) for having been pregnant. Both claims were dropped, and she walked away with her pockets filled, never having paid her lawyer a red cent. He would end up being paid from this sum. It had been the plan all along: launch as many claims as you can against him, it will end up being settled, and at the very least, we will walk away financially advantaged. Nice ploy.

 

Outside of the child support payments exist extraneous payments which are required to be paid in addition Things like prescriptions, ballet classes, music classes, school fees, team enrolment, mommy&baby classes, etc. That isn’t split 50/50, it is proportionate to income, and because she doesn’t work, we pay 95%, so when a prescription had to be filled for her daughter for $29, she sent the bill to our lawyer for $27. Yup, she pays $2, and we pay $27. I couldn’t believe, given the enormous amount she makes in child support payments, that she was scraping the bottom of the barrel and scrounging for $27….I was kind of embarrassed for her, but she felt ENTITLED. She unilaterally decided to place her child into daycare, with no regard to what the cost was. She chose one of the highest priced daycares in the area. Why? Cause she doesn’t pay for it, we do. Her 5% portion is laughable. She felt ENTITLED to spend our money how she saw fit. Why not? Free money, mandated by the laws which have been put into place to protect babies of deadbeat dads. When she decided that she wanted to get her daughter immunized against Hepatitis B (not covered by health insurance), we questioned why she would need/want to immunize her against something like this at such a young age, especially if she isn’t exposed…unless she was going on a trip? A few weeks later, a request comes for my husband to sign her passport application. She is reminded that she has complete custody, and his signature or permission for her to travel is not needed. A passport? A hepatitis B vaccination? Sounds like someone is going on a vacation!! Mexico maybe? Funny, she can’t scrape two cents together, and hasn’t been able to EVER afford a vacation…until now, when her child support payments which are far greater than what is actually NEEDED to support her child allow her to squirrel a little away at a time for her child. Looks like she went to Mexico (or some other disease infested area requiring advanced vaccination), on our dollar. Why not? She is ENTITLED to a vacation on us, right?

So here we are, two years later. The false lawsuits have been dropped and closed. She has legally released my husband from all claims relating to her employment. She gets a monthly cheque for her child support, post-dated cheques given yearly so they are never late, and daycare payments made directly to the daycare so that she can turf her kid and have some ‘mommy time’. She is ENTITLED to that though, cause she works so hard as a single mother (and I don’t doubt that she does, I am sure it is BRUTALLY hard, and I wouldn’t change places with her but let’s not forget that this was her CHOICE). She sits on the brink of a job offer, having submitted a job application that she obvious wants desperately (I guess she needs to get out of the house, 100% childcare is exhausting!! He warned her that it would be….we’ve been there…done that…she didn’t listen), and she is worried that he won’t give her a good reference. Although she has a reference letter, her fear is that someone will call him, and she can’t monitor or control what he says. She is worried that karma is going to exact a toll on her, and do to her what she has been doing to him for two years: slandering a reputation and compromising a career. Out of her fear, she has decided to launch several lies and threatens to make them public (read the post before this one called “I am mentally unstable….” if she doesn’t get what she wants. Can someone tell me why she should get what she wants, after all that she has done? Because she feels ENTITLED, that’s why.

In my attempt to decode this person’s behaviour, I am left perplexed. How can someone exact such vengeful behaviours, launch a tirade of hurtful actions, compromise my husband’s reputation and career, stalk me online, harass me with false police allegations against me, demand payments for things that she unilaterally selects, and then feel entitled to a glowing recommendation? Seriously? Is she missing a chromosome responsible for rationality? Is she really just this stupid? Or is she just ballsy, thinking that if she casts a wide enough net, she is likely to reel SOMETHING back, and she just doesn’t care how it makes her look? Wow. I just don’t get it. I feel embarrassed for her. This is just one person I can’t figure out…and it’s not because she is too complex…she just escapes the definition of ‘normal’.

She won’t be getting a reference letter. My husband has no desire to compromise her career. He is above all of that. He would rather see her working, and supporting her child, than leeching off of us every month. He would rather see her time and brain power put towards a job, instead of left free to concoct more damage against us. He wants her to move on. He wants her to find a man. He wants her to divert her attention off of us, and to just move on with her life. He pays a cheque monthly to assist her with that. Hopefully it is just a matter of time before she ‘gets it’ that it is time to let go, and to move forward.

Fuck you…Oh, can I get a reference?


For those who have been following and know the story, bless you for having read so much, and remaining on the crazy-train. For those who are new, or who haven’t combed through the archives of this blog to see the hell that the psycho mistress has tried to put our family through, I will give you a little synopsis so that this post makes sense.

My husband had an affair with a woman he worked with. She was his only employee, and at the time, he was grateful for the help. They started seeing one another before she came to work for him, and when he asked her to just be friends and stop the relationship, she claimed to be OK with it, and came to work for him under the understanding that they would remain only friends. That didn’t last long, and before you know it, she was asking him to stay late after work, making threats if he didn’t spend time with her or show her the affection she wanted. On the nights he would leave directly from work, she would text all night long threatening to tell me, to ruin him, to scream rape and cost him his career. As she gradually wanted more of a relationship than she was getting (she was getting screwed on office furniture and I guess she wanted a real date with a meal), she started to threaten more and more, and insinuate that perhaps he should tell me, so that he can stop living a lie. Obviously, she’d hoped to horn in on our lives, and hoped that upon learning of his transgressions, that I would kick him out, freeing him up for her. Well, I didn’t. She became infuriated, started emailing everyone we knew about the affair, including my husband’s work colleagues and my parents. She started threatening to tell others whose influence were higher on the chain, hoping that it would cost him his reputation. She was fired for this misconduct and for using work-related contacts which were privacy restricted for non-work-use, she was fired, and offered a significant amount of pay in exchange for notice, along with a reference letter to just get her out of his hair. Oh, in case you didn’t know, she was also 7 weeks pregnant and threatening to keep the baby unless he left me and our three children. He didn’t leave. She had the baby. We pay her child support every month, and my husband has no desire to see or know the child.

In the aftermath of the disclosure, in an effort to cause us greater harm, she launched a lawsuit accusing my husband of having fired her for being pregnant. Now, we all know that wasn’t why she was fired, but she figured she could claim that, and possibly win some money. She simultaneously launched a human rights tribunal action, citing discrimination for having been terminated for being pregnant. Although the two claims are similar, one is clearly a human rights/discrimination angle, and the other is an employment standards case for wrongful termination. In her Human Rights complaint, she goes into grossly fabricated detail about how she was sexually assaulted by my husband, raped, used and abused, and then threatened with job loss if she didn’t perform certain sexual acts. Her stories read like a bad made-for-TV miniseries. The way he ‘threw her to the ground’, ‘commanded her to perform oral sex at his desk’, ‘finished with her, and then threw her to the floor and told her she was a slut and then spit on her’….yeah, ok, cause THAT really happened. NOT. Anyone who knows my husband would find her script completely out of character, but it was coloured in the most maligning way possible, to cost him his career and make him suffer.

Fast forward two years. The lawsuit has been settled (we paid her even more money to just go away and drop it already), and this week, an email crossed my husband’s desk that she is looking for a job, and hopes for a reference letter. Are you fucking kidding me? She wants a letter of reference? What is he supposed to say, she sued me for fabricated scenarios, cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees, threatened my family, stalked my wife, called the police on my wife with false claims that my wife was hunting her down, but other than that she is a dedicated and hard worker and you’d be pleased to have the likes of her in YOUR office??? Really?

Her email reads (names have been removed for privacy):

In court in January 2012 you agreed we would discuss my job reference from (husband) at a later date. That date is here… I have been offered a position…Should my potential employer call for a job reference from(my husband) I have explained that my reason for leaving (husband’s company) in march2010 was due to a very physically difficult pregnancy (ummm no, it was because your sorry ass was fired due to your behaviour and threatening your employer and his family), I was placed onbedrest for most of my pregnancy & understandably unable to work (but not so bedridden that you couldn’t harass, stalk, fabricate false lawsuits…). Oncemy maternity leave was completed in September 2011, I chose to focus onmy studies full time and focus on completing my degree (Read: I chose to remain unemployed because my child support cheque gives me more money per month than I was ever making in my job, so why work?). This is thereason I did not return to working at (husband’s workplace) upon completion of my mat leave. Although he would have gladly taken me back (Are you for real??!?!?) as he has stated in thousands of emails, text messages and videos (no videos….but he had told her that she was a good employee from time to time and how grateful he was to have her in his employ), I am an excellent employee. I certainly hope (my husband’s) job reference for me will reflect those thousands of sentiments, that I excel in my role, and he give me an excellent reference and recommendation to any employer. Should he need documentation to jog his memory of his positive statements regarding my excellent skills I would be happy to forward the thousands of emails, text messages and videos for his review. There is of course additional extraneous information in these videos which I’m sure he wishes to keep confidential (there are no videos, but I find it funny that she would fabricate the existence of a video in which my husband simultaneously engages in sexual behavior with her while simultaneously vocalizing that she is a stellar employee at the same time…nice video if it actually exiated) between him and myself (and anyone who viewed them prior to Jan 2012), however I would be happy to provide him with these if he wishes. The other people who provide job references for me are people whom (my husband) interacts with regularly (you can only get a job reference from an employer you freaking idiot, and no one that you had in common can write you a reference letter…and the people you knew in common due to your role are the I.T person, the telephone technician, and perhaps the guy who delivered the mail???!? were THEY giving you reference letters about how great of an employee they think you MAY have been (they wouldn’t know), or were you fucking them too and that is the reference they can provide?!?), as I’m sure he is aware (my husband) and I have many, many mutual associates (no they don’t). All of these people will provide an excellent reference for me (you weren’t employed by any of them you dumb fuck)utilizing the aforementioned reasons for leaving employment with(husband). They have all expressed a desire for (husband) to also provide the same excellent reference and reason for leaving (they have all expressed a desire for him to write you a reference letter? Really? These fictitious people care THAT much about you?). Employment for me will ultimately benefit his daughter (name withheld), whose best interests are paramount. Please let me remind you that prior to January 2012 all information about (our) relationship with me, and our daughter was not confidential, hence the knowledge of the above parties of the situation (because she sent everyone she knows details about it in an effort to slander my husband).
Please tell me she isn’t this stupid….oh wait, yes she is. Here, let me sue you, cost you thousands of dollars, nickel and dime you for child support when I am making triple what most single mothers get in support, and oh, by the way, can you give me a really nice reference letter? This, people, is the moron we are dealing with. Someone oughta take her out back and shoot her. The average intelligence of the planet would rise ever so slightly.

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