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The culture of infidelity


We’ve all heard them, those twangy country songs about a cheating heart,  a betrayed faithful wife…some great catchy song that screams pain and heartache.  I grew up lstening to my parent’s love of country music, but I was never a fan…I just found the lyrics were always so sad, bellyaching about someone’s disappointment, heartache, loss…blech

I turned to top 40 😉

But once this happens to you, once infidelity sneaks its way into your life, you view the world through its lens.  I’ve become accustomed to hearing infidelity in song lyrics, and can now, better than ever, identify with the pain the artist is conveying because I feel like the song was written for me.

But, what about those songs that seem to promote infidelity?  Like in the 2011 hit “I like it” by Enrique Iglesias where he sings “My girlfriend’s out of town and I’m all alone.  Your boyfriend’s on vacation and he doesn’t need to know”

or the most recent hit by Nicki Minaj where she claims to want a man she knows is married and has a wife at home, but just wants one night….

It’s really sad what our music industry is telling young impressionable women….go take a man, even if he is married, it doesn’t matter.  Hurt the wife and kids, take what is yours.  WTF?

Is it just me? I preferred the old country tunes from the perspective of the woman scorned because THAT I could relate to and get behind.  This trash?  Hardly.   How can we advocate walking into a marriage and just taking a prize?

The sad part is that before I actually LISTENED to the song, I actually liked it 😦

Personally, I like the ones where a woman scorned gets even, like this one:

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Gender differences healing from an affair


It’s amazing to me. Men and women heal differently and draw different conclusions from the affairs of their partners, and yet we all have the same basic needs: love, support, reassurance that we are chosen and worth loving, patience, time, and honesty.

Here is a link to some information on how men can heal from the affairs of their wives and links to the audio from some teleseminars on the topic.

when men heal from their wives’ affairs

Gender differences healing from an affair


It’s amazing to me. Men and women heal differently and draw different conclusions from the affairs of their partners, and yet we all have the same basic needs: love, support, reassurance that we are chosen and worth loving, patience, time, and honesty.

Here is a link to some information on how men can heal from the affairs of their wives and links to the audio from some teleseminars on the topic.

when men heal from their wives’ affairs

Just for laughs


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Words of comfort:9


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Words of comfort:8


Not exactly “comforting”, but true.

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Facebook


I wanted to let all of my readers know that I have just started a page on Facebook devoted to this blog, and this journey. If you are on Facebook, I would like to invite you to like my page which is entitled “Rescuing My Marriage”.

You will notice when you search for that page, that two pages of the same name come up. That’s because I had started one, and then realized that I hadn’t used appropriate capital letters in my title, and attempted to start over, not realizing it would have created the first one if I hadn’t completed before step process. Nonetheless, one of them has followers, the other one has none, and you will obviously want to Like the page that has existing followers.

The page is currently blank, Avitts I have not added any content yet, but will be using the page to advertise new blog posts, to share quotes and words of comfort, to share cartoons which appropriately mock women who choose to engage in this horrid lifestyle.

Please join me on this page, and I look forward to interacting with you there also.

Two teleseminars this week – one tonight


As always, I wanted to pass along the information about two upcoming teleseminars with Anne and Brian Bercht.

Here are the details:

How to heal your broken heart

TELESEMINAR #1
Phone: 1-626-677-3000
Access Code: 688685#
Date: Wednesday, Nov. 7 – YES TODAY!!!
Time: 6 PM Pacific / 9 PM Eastern
Hosts: Brian & Anne Bercht

TELESEMINAR #2
Phone: 1-626-677-3000
Access Code: 688685#
Date: Saturday, Nov. 10
Time: 10 AM Pacific / 1 PM Eastern
Hosts: Brian & Anne Bercht

A story that needs to be told


In the months leading up to this blog post, or even perhaps in the year leading up to it, I have toyed with this idea.  I’ve looked back on the 2.5 year ordeal that we have faced, and when I readers read it for the first time, many times the reaction is shock and horror.  Can it be real?  Did that actually happen to someone?  Other times, I am told that it reads like a a soap opera, or a film script – something entirely fictional, made up, and entertaining in its off-the-wall, bizarre twists and turns.  No people, this is my life as I know it.

I want to write a book.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I want to actually write this story, publish it, and make it widely known.  I love writing this blog, and I love the outlet that it provides me.  The support that I have gained  has been wonderful, and I plan to blog for some time.  I like knowing that my blog, the stories that I tell, and the perspectives that I share help others who are going through something devastating in their own lives.  I love it when readers comment that I’ve “nailed it”, in reference to having written the sentiments that they too have been feeling, but unable to express.  I love knowing that others follow this blog, and look forward to the entries.  In short, I feel like this blog has been a big salvation for me.

I love to write.  I express myself best through writing.  I find it therapeutic and soul-calming.  I’ve never wanted to be a writer, per se, but I do enjoy the process, and wonder if I should give it a shot.

With that in mind, I am asking you all a favour.  Do you know anyone in the publishing industry?  Do you have any personal experience in publishing a book that you can share?  I’ve never ventured into these waters, and I am naive to the process.  I know that there are traditional publishers, and then POD (publish on demand) publishers, as well as Ebook publishers.  I don’t know where to start.  Self-pubishing?  Getting an agent?  Talking to a publisher?  What is the first step?

It is exciting to venture into new territory, and I found myself feeling ALIVE this weekend when I would think about it. My husband and I want to write it together.  I think it will be good for us, and will also be good for US (there is a difference).

I look forward to starting this new chapter, and yes, I mean that in both ways 🙂

 

 

Resurrecting the psycho…she’s BACK!


Tell me I am misdirecting my anger. Tell me that my anger and hostility towards the OW is inappropriate. I dare you.

Wednesday morning, October 31st, my husband received the following email to his inbox. It came from his lawyers office. In his lawyer’s absence (she was in court apparently), the legal assistant forwarded to him the following email, received from the OW the day prior (names have been removed):

(It needs to be mentioned here that in the weeks following up to the receipt of this email, the psycho crazy whore discovered that legally, she was entitled to no additional money this year, over and above the amount she was given last year, after a financial review was completed on her daughter’s birthday, October 20th. Upset and likely angry at this reality, she lashed out with the email below) My clarification points are in bold italics.

Dear Lawyer,
The Corporate financial statement you have provided (which is currently under review) does not include financials for (husband’s) additional Professional Corporation and business accounts for which (husband) himself has already provided documentation of its existence. When do you anticipate forwarding that information?
(Read: I want more money, which is the only reason I had this kid I never wanted in the first place)
(There are no additional corporations in his name. He has not provided documentation of their existence. They don’t exist)

Please inform your client third parties have reported acquiring documentation of your client and his wife’s ongoing sexually deviant obsession with me. It appears the Family are so delusional in the false reality in which they have created (& force their sons) to live in, that they choose to ignore the fact that the entire downtown core has cameras to capture harassing behaviour and their digital imprint is unique. Your client has put both me and his daughter in danger by publicly providing our home address, telephone number & email address on multiple occasions. Further, the attacks by (husband) on me professionally have been well documented for years. It appears He has made it his personal mission to discredit me professionally since signing the Order in January. Third parties are understandably (given Husband’s violent history) terribly concerned for (daughter’s) safety and my own. Should they choose to provide evidence of Husband’s ongoing harassing behaviors to the appropriate authorities, governing bodies, Government agencies, Husband’s workplace, the university, and the taxation offices to protect (daughter) and I from Husband that is their choice. I have no control over others actions and I do not communicate about Husband in any way. Further, the fact that Husband a 45 year old man, regularly & voyeuristically views online photographs of his female child Nicole is widely regarded as pedophilic in nature.
Let it be known that statements of cameras capturing activities downtown are ridiculous and speak to a paranoia or mental illness. As someone with significant mental illness training, this wreaks of paranoid schizophrenia. There is no harassing behaviour being captured on any close circuit television cameras anywhere. Her desire for us to be interested in her astounds me. We aren’t interested sweetheart. Get over it. Not only has my husband not discredited her professionally, he has made no contact with her whatsoever. My husband’s violent history??? What violent history? He hasn’t spoken with you since March 21st, 2010….not an email, letter, voicemail, or otherwise. Violent tendencies? Riiiiiight. It may be of interest to readers to know that the order between them contains a non-harassment clause that they may not harass one another. What does the sending of this letter consist of? Harassment, yes. In addition, the order also stipulates that they may not speak of the relationship to third parties, and that third parties are also restricted from discussing the relationship or compromising the other. Her intentional statement of “I don’t speak about him, but I can’t control what ‘my friends’ do” is threatening to breach the order and be in contempt of court.

Please be advised I continue to abide by the Order and do not discuss Husband or this matter in any way, however I am incapable of turning my ears and eyes off when third parties provide documentation regarding Husband’s ongoing obsession with me.
And what third parties are these? Last time we checked, you don’t have any friends to speak of.

Additionally may I remind you that prior to January 2012, all information pertaining to Husband’s affair with me, our daughter, his out of control mental illness, his years of harassment, violence, misogynistic and sexually deviant behavior towards his daughter and myself, his attacks on his wife, and his own acknowledgment of his questionable reporting to the CRA and copies of said information was not confidential.
Oh the attacks feel good don’t they? Claiming my husband has a mental illness. Projection much? He hasn’t had years of harassment towards anyone, isn’t violent or misogynistic in any way. There is NO deviant sexual behaviour towards his daughter – he has never met her. He does not attack me, and has never falsified his taxes. He is an honest man with a good heart who made a mistake. Sounds like someone is feeling sad that they weren’t the ultimate winner here. The very fact that a mother places her daughter in a position within her own mind of being someone’s sexual prey, is, in and of itself, morally reprehensible. You sick fuck.

I had sincerely hoped at this point your client would move on with his life and stop dangerously imposing himself on mine. However given the overwhelming amount of evidence of his harassing actions since January 2012 (what evidence is that you speak of?), it is clear Husband is incapable of doing so. In fact his obsession with us seems to have escalated. It has been noted that Husband’s public behavior clearly supports his self reported alcoholism (really? that one is kind of funny) and unstable mental illness (here comes the projected mental illness again) which reportedly appears to cycle every 25-30 days between manic hypersexual delusional acts of grandeur and depressive, retaliatory, violent acts against me and (daughter) (I’d like to know how a man who has never seen this child, nor laid eyes on you since March 19th, 2010 has engaged in violent acts against you?) . Need I remind you reportedly your client, in December 2011 tweeted online a request for his I Phone to perform oral sex on him and in June 2012 reportedly posted a photograph online of a hotel room bed with 3 champagne glasses (which I understand third parties assumed belonged to him, me and his wife). Perhaps your client’s self acknowledged mental illness (again with the mental illness???) prevents him from realizing how disturbing and perverse this behaviour is to all everyone with Internet access who views it.
I should clarify here that the iphone oral sex reference and the champagne glasses do have a basis in reality, but have been quite skewed.
Reference 1: When my husband first got his iPhone 4S, we discovered Siri, the voice-recognition assistant that learns your needs and answers your questions. Many people had asked Siri to marry them, and received hilarious replies. We took it a step futther, and I asked my husband to ask her for a blowjob. When he did, her reply was that he’d better check with me first. I found that hysterical and tweeted it, or Facebook-posted it – I can’t recall which. Either way, the fact that she saw it proves that she is still stalking me online, and in doing so, is breaching the court order that she would no longer do that.
Reference 2: In June 2012, I traveled to San francisco with my family. Upon arrival, my friend who is local, had left us a bottle of champagne and two glasses, along with some treats for my kids. It was a great welcome gift. I tweeted or Facebook-posted (can’t recall) how fortunate I felt to have such wonderful friends who would do something so kind. In the posting, I’d included an image of the glasses, and likely the hotel room fell into the background. Correction: There were two glasses, not three, and she was never invited 😉

Your client’s ongoing obsession with me is disturbing. I now sincerely believe His terrifying January 2010 email to me whereby he stated “My dear sweet (name withheld), you are the glue that keeps my marriage together. Without your joyful free spirit in my life I would be unhappy and forced to focus on my miserable marriage to my selfish wife. I need you in my life to be happy. You can’t ever leave me. I won’t let you”.
This email was completely fabricated. He has never written that email. It doesn’t even make sense. Since when does side-pussy become the glue that holds a marriage together? This was written for one intention: so that I would read it and get worried. Just another attempt to drive a wedge.

Lawyer, I respectfully ask that you please advise your client to get over our affair and move on with his life. We had sex for a year which resulted in the single greatest joy I have ever known, our beautiful daughter. His ongoing attacks, harassment and obsession with us are criminal. He is endangering the safety of his own child and me. I sincerely hope he can one day make peace with the fact that [he has a]daughter and we can move forward in a positive manner towards the best interests of (daughter).
Maybe someone, in the “best interest of her daughter should spend more time parenting her, instead of sending completely bogus, vitriolic emails, designed to cause further harm to a family who has been through enough. Perhaps she should focus her energies there.

Separately, I may be required to work extra hours over the coming months. Please advise Husband I will forward all receipts for additional daycare costs incurred or documentation from Daycare if try are able to accommodate. I will also provide documentation supporting the hours worked.
More money, more money, more money.

Given the fact that it is your client who has intentionally dragged matters on by breaching the Court Order and refusing to provide his tax information at the required times, he will provide Novembers support cheque and payment to the daycare to me by November 1. Any adjustments will be made at a later date once his 2011 returns have been reviewed. Further, the information re his corporate returns was dated October 4, your client did not forward said information to me until October 23. Further supporting what appears to be his intentions to play games, not cooperate and deliberately not allow for sufficient time to review.
My husband has never once breached the court orders. He was supposed to provide all tax documentation by May 31at, but given that corporate taxes aren’t collected until July, this was no possible. Her side was informed of this, and agreed. Taxes were not completed in a timely fashion by our accountant, admittedly, but this is no fault of ours. He has made repeated attempts to expedite the process, but to no avail. It was finally completed a few weeks ago. Late, but done nonetheless.

Please forward his accurate financial records as well as Novembers support cheque payment to my lawyer immediately. Have your client forward November’s daycare payment directly to the daycare for November 1.
Cause it’s all about the money, money, money…..

Many thanks,
Skank whore
30 months into this ordeal…over 900 days, and we are still receiving this garbage. She is stil actively seeking to cause us harm, to cause me pain, and to destroy my husband’s reputation. When does it end? When do we get peace? When do we get a chance to heal and focus on us? According to our lawyer….never. Things like this rarely ever resolve, she says, and with someone this crazy…even less likely.
So, to all those who told me that my anger is misdirected, and that I have no reason to be upset with the woman who slept with a knowingly married man, got pregnant on purpose, and lashed out at what remained of my self-esteem, and who continues to assault my family, I ask you…upon reading this, do you really feel I have no reason to be upset? If your answer is ‘yes’, you are as mental as she is.
This email left me in a state of primal scream in fetal position. I have had it. I laid in my basement, on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, screaming with a primal anger I think would have been hard to witness (ask my dog), and curled myself up into a fetal position. I eventually got up, called my husband, and asked him if he’d seen the email. He hadn’t. I read it to him. He was pleased. He saw it as further proof that she continues to be unhinged…and that she is showing her true colours every time. He was pleased because it spoke to the fact that she must be angry she isn’t going to extort any more money from us. For that, he is pleased. I wish I could see the optimism here, because from someone who didn’t get to fuck this cow, I don’t see many unicorns and rainbows in this letter, just sludge and venom. Needless to say, I felt better after we’d talked, booked an hour long telephone-therapy appointment with my therapist to talk about it, and am now doing much better.
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